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AIBU?

To be honest about my friend's decorating choices

166 replies

simplesimonsays · 27/08/2020 19:08

Friend has been making the most of lockdown to redecorate her house. We have majorly different tastes in decor, I'm very minimalist, she likes things that are very busy, and friend knows this. A few weeks ago, she asked me for an opinion on a room she had just decorated. I tried to be polite and point out the bits I liked but she pushed me with lots of questions and I could see she was unhappy that I wasn't praising her decorating choices enough. Today she has sent me photos of her just finished bathroom, and I can't think of anything positive to say. Should I just lie and say what a great job she's done or should I be honest and point out that it's just not what I would have chosen?

OP posts:
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PinkiOcelot · 27/08/2020 19:10

Mmmmmmmm. I think I would lie.

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toomanyspiderplants · 27/08/2020 19:11

Just say it's very her!

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burritofan · 27/08/2020 19:11

Just lie, why upset her? You can say it’s perfect with the rest of the house/fits her style/ask where she sourced fittings/ask about the influences. She obviously likes to talk decor, but isn’t necessarily looking for critique.

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Ohtherewearethen · 27/08/2020 19:12

I can't understand why you would tell her you wouldn't have chosen that. What good will come from it? You know her tastes and that they differ from yours so just reply with something like, "Wow, that is so 'you'! That's a real feature of the house, well done!"

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PinkSparkleUnicorns · 27/08/2020 19:12

Yeah just lie about this one. What would anyone gain by saying that it's not to your taste?

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Hazelnutlatteplease · 27/08/2020 19:12

Yy it's very you and my word haven't you worked hard

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AuntyPasta · 27/08/2020 19:13

Do you really need to ask?

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PablosHoney · 27/08/2020 19:13

Lie your ass off

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purpledagger · 27/08/2020 19:14

I'd probably say something like 'you've done a great job', which acknowledges the effort she has put into it, but avoids mentioning the actual decor.

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Whenwillthisbeover · 27/08/2020 19:14

No, you should say you love it and she’s done a great job and then say you would love her to do yours too. 😂

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MaskingForIt · 27/08/2020 19:14

If you can’t say you like the colour then you say that you admire her dedication, how she’s done a really good job of the finish, how hard she’s worked. Just act like a civilised human being and be polite!

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Blankblankblank · 27/08/2020 19:16

Lie.
She’s proud of her hard work, you just need to say “it looks great, you’ll enjoy a soak in there, well done”. I think I’d feel pretty crushed if someone said to me “it’s not what I would have chosen” because that’s basically saying it’s not nice-not that I would ask!

It’s kind of like having a new hair cut that makes you feel fantastic and someone says ‘well, do you like it?’

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CorrectileDysfunction · 27/08/2020 19:16

I'd probably lie too. She's being quite needy about an opinion so being vague isn't working.

If she likes it that's the main thing- it's not like she's going to break into your house and put out some artfully clashing cushions and a cheeseplant.

If you are worried she's going to give you presents for your own house to match- large gold buddha? Textured 'statement' wallpaper? Just say something like "yes I think it's lovely- i don't think the style would suit my house but it really works here"

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TheHappyHerbivore · 27/08/2020 19:16

God, just be polite and say it’s lovely. Who benefits in any way from you saying you hate it?! Why does this question even need asked?

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Penguinnn · 27/08/2020 19:17

Just lie it will keep her happy and in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter

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badg3r · 27/08/2020 19:18

Oh wow, what a transformation! How did you get the wallpaper so neat? Where did you get that lamp? It looks like in a magazine!!!

Or words to that effect. Don't tell her you don't like it!!!

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TerribleCustomerCervix · 27/08/2020 19:19

Is there nothing at all that you like?

The colour of the bathmat? An interesting loo roll holder?

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BranchAndPoppy · 27/08/2020 19:20

Oh God yes, I'd lie like hell!

Remember who she's decorating for; herself and her family. Imagine you have that sort of taste and say how it will be good for them. That isn't even really lying imo. My taste is different to that of my friends in many ways. They choose things I wouldn't, all the time. I say how I like it for them. Because that's what's actually relevant.

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RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 27/08/2020 19:20

@toomanyspiderplants

Just say it's very her!

Omg this! This is me! I always say this when it's not my cuppa tea but don't want to offend!
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riotlady · 27/08/2020 19:22

Just lie!

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Bluntness100 · 27/08/2020 19:24

I thought everyone knew you just lied in these circumstances?

When a friend buys new soft furnishings or decorates etc even if not to your taste, you just saw wow that’s fantastic, what a great job, it looks lovely.

Exactly what’s to be gained by saying you’d not have it? Other than causing offence?

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Thepilotlightsgoneout · 27/08/2020 19:25

OMG, just lie, why would you do anything else?!

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Ariela · 27/08/2020 19:26

You are so clever, this is right up your street
I can see why you painted that colour, shows off the floor/tiling /window blind perfectly
'Such an improvement on before' is my stock one when I really hate it. problem is my friend knows this now...!

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Scarby9 · 27/08/2020 19:27

'I could never do anything like that! It's a total transformation. Completely different. Amazing. Did you really do it all yourself? How long did it take? And tell me, did you know exactly what it would look like when you started work? Is it exactly like you imagined? I just don't have that kind of imagination.'
Etc.

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TeensArghhhh · 27/08/2020 19:27

Just say it's very her

This ^^

Nothing else needs to be said

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