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To be a bit jealous of my neighbour's daughter

(162 Posts)
perpetuallyunimpressed Wed 24-Jun-20 22:08:59

My OH and I have been together 17 years. 2 DD to my knowledge he has never been unfaithful and I can't remember really feeling jealous of any women he's known before. We live on a road with mostly elderly people.

At the beginning of lockdown the 4 of us were out for a walk with me and when i turned back OH was chatting to a woman and we waited a few minutes while they chatted and then he said she's the daughter of the couple that live 2 doors up from us. She's had to move in just prior to lockdown for some reason which isn't clear to me. First time he'd met her.

Then as the food shortages got a bit difficult he mentioned he's got some bits which we needed but hadn't been able to get, great, where from? he met her out again on another walk and they exchanged numbers then she contacted him to ask would he like anything.

Then some second hand clothes turned up that the neighbours grandchildren had outgrown, and a few more groceries. OH got a few things for them.

I know all this sounds completely reasonable and nice and it is but whenever I see this woman she just says hi as we pass and I find it a bit weird that she's such good chums with him but never speaks to me.

I have been working a lot since lockdown, long days and nights and weekends and OH has mostly been furloughed at home with the kids. I mentioned it to OH and he just brushed it off and seems completely innocent but he is a bit naive and I'm not sure he would notice if someone was giving him the come on. AIBU to have a weird feeling about it all?

OP’s posts: |
Anonymoussumo Wed 24-Jun-20 22:14:39

Hi, Op. How old is she?

DrManhattan Wed 24-Jun-20 22:17:12

Sometimes weird feelings are letting you know something is off. I would keep an eye on the situation until there is something concrete to go on. Not easy but otherwise you will make yourself look unreasonable.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit Wed 24-Jun-20 22:17:39

Is she fit? Let's be honest here. It's all that counts...

PlanDeRaccordement Wed 24-Jun-20 22:19:07

Have you tried to start a conversation with her?

Pumpertrumper Wed 24-Jun-20 22:20:23

FWIW my dad was a SAHP whilst my mum worked, I’m now mid twenties so it wasn’t very common at the time. He made friends with several mums/neighbours who he’d chat to all the time and meet up with but my mum had little to do with them other than to say ‘hi’ as she walked past them in the street.

I’d certainly keep an eye on it if it were my DH (it wouldn’t be though, he’s allergic to conversation!) but given she was new to the street and in lockdown with elderly parents it’s possible she did just befriend DH because he was around and chatty.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow Wed 24-Jun-20 22:20:44

She just says hi to you, have you actually said anything else to her? Tried to start a conversation?

You sound pretty paranoid to me OP, none of this sounds weird at all. Men can be nice to women without sticking their dicks in them.

Spied Wed 24-Jun-20 22:21:45

I'd not be happy, especially if all she can muster to you is a 'Hi'.
How well do you know her parents? Is your OH friendly with them?

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese Wed 24-Jun-20 22:21:55

Have you tried to engage with her beyond just saying hi?
If you've got an off feeling, keep an eye on the situation, but it could be totally innocent and they just get on.

perpetuallyunimpressed Wed 24-Jun-20 22:22:30

I would say early 40s similar age to OH, few years older than me? She's not a knock out but then neither am I! Well groomed I guess. Single, no kids.

OP’s posts: |
Apileofballyhoo Wed 24-Jun-20 22:24:20

Seems a bit off that he hadn't mentioned the conversations that led to the passing on of groceries and clothes.

PlanDeRaccordement Wed 24-Jun-20 22:27:11

Men can be nice to women without sticking their dicks in them.

Agree.

Pinkchocolate Wed 24-Jun-20 22:27:46

I don’t think you sound paranoid at all. Is he normally this friendly? My husbands speaks to most people but exchanging numbers with a neighbour is a bit much for my liking.

mediumbrownmug Wed 24-Jun-20 22:28:14

It’s not unreasonable at all to feel weird about something. It’s not like you’ve accused him of cheating. I’d just talk to him about it, share your thoughts and you can both kind of earmark it. It’s hard because some friendships can easily go from totally innocent to cheating, but more often they don’t. And then of course early on they all look innocent, regardless of how they end up. That’s why respectful communication is so important in a relationship.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 24-Jun-20 22:29:57

If he is home more with the kids then it stands to reason that he will talk.more than you to the people he encounters. Does she have kids?

BumbleBeee69 Wed 24-Jun-20 22:31:57

Why did they exchange numbers ? that's weird right there.. why would you do that confused

Thunderbolted Wed 24-Jun-20 22:32:47

Seems a bit paranoid to me. I'm much more friendly with a male neighbour than my husband is just because I'm out and about more and we share a profession. Doesn't mean I fancy him.

Roxymoomoo Wed 24-Jun-20 22:35:12

Yer I dont generally chat to the guys in my street but not their wives.... and take their numbers.... and shop for them.... and stuff....she must be bored at the parents... hell dont worry about looking unreasonable remind him that hes got a lot to loose. Thats the fact of it... the chase is what they like... the sneaking about.... if you take all the energy out of it its boring......... mess me about mate and your off..... simples. He can flirt and pretend as much as he likes. Cold light of day, bit grim.

InterestingIris Wed 24-Jun-20 22:36:15

he met her out again on another walk and they exchanged numbers then she contacted him to ask would he like anything

Yeah this is really weird imo.

We’ve lived in our house about a year. I work FT, dh is a sahd. He’s always out and about with ds3 on walks, ds on his bike in our road and as a result he knows most of the neighbours far better than I do.

There’s a woman who lives opposite us with a dd about the same age and he’s chatted to her a few times when they’ve passed...they’ve also taken the dc to the park together once (inadvertently - they were both leaving the same time and heading to the same park so walked together).

I have no issue with this, I think it’s really nice in fact. But I can’t imagine any situation where this ‘normal’ friendly-but-detached neighbour relationship he has with her would progress to them exchanging numbers.

I think I’d be miffed to say the least.

Redyellowpink Wed 24-Jun-20 22:37:02

Single, no kids

Burn the witch

ittakes2 Wed 24-Jun-20 22:37:24

I am fifty and fat - so definately not fit! But it’s common for me to end up more friendly with Male neighbours when the Male is friendly but the female is not! She only said hi to you....did you say more than hi to her? I bet she can sense you feel jealous so is wary of you. I am not just friendly with Male neighbours - more often than not the female neighbours are friendly but their husbands are not!!

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 24-Jun-20 22:38:30

Got a bad feeling about it?

Thats not because of her, but because of him. He has noticed her and you've noticed that he's noticed her.

Keep your eyes open

ittakes2 Wed 24-Jun-20 22:39:13

The whole number exchange thing is not weird during a pandemic - I now have 40 new neighbours numbers! And it’s lovely as some of them are elderly and it’s nice to know they can call me if they need to.

PinkiOcelot Wed 24-Jun-20 22:43:16

Did they need to swap phone numbers?! I don’t think I’d be chuffed.

Jux Wed 24-Jun-20 22:43:39

Invite her for a coffee or supper, or something.

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