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OH wants me to pay for everything while he saves

(170 Posts)
Moanyoldbugger Thu 28-May-20 11:28:46

I'm still getting paid from work and Selling press on nails as I'm a part time nail tech.OH is self employed so managed to get the grant for 1k. I have been paying for everything he has paid for the odd shop. He has his own savings with more in than mine. His grant is due in next week and he said the money is going straight in the savings and he's not spending it.

I'm starting to get pissed of and starting to hate him i have a lousy £300 in my savings. I brought the kids new clothes new car seats as they are things they desperately needed. He's going on about his birthday constantly and saying "I better get something good"

He wants me to pay for everything because I earn more but I've had enough!!


OP’s posts: |
Picklesprout Thu 28-May-20 11:30:06

He doesnt see you as a partner and honestly I would be gone, you clearly don't need him flowers

MaxNormal Thu 28-May-20 11:31:12

Cheeky shit, boot him out.

Seeingadistance Thu 28-May-20 11:31:21


ThousandsAreSailing Thu 28-May-20 11:32:02

Yanbu. Who owns or rents the house?
You need to stop funding him and get him out

OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 28-May-20 11:32:31

Was he like this pre-corona?

vodkaredbullgirl Thu 28-May-20 11:32:52

Tell him to start saving once he is back to work, bills still need to be paid.

Reluctantbettlynch Thu 28-May-20 11:33:06

I take it your username refers to your partner? Absolutely no way I would put up with this. He's totally taking the piss.

TorkTorkBam Thu 28-May-20 11:33:34

Stop this now. Why are you funding him? What's in it for you?

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 28-May-20 11:34:24

I’m no. Obviously. What a prat.

peperethecat Thu 28-May-20 11:34:29

Are you married?

Cambionome Thu 28-May-20 11:34:29

Awful behaviour from him op. sad

Nottherealslimshady Thu 28-May-20 11:34:37

Ha! Bet he does! Tell him if he wont contribute then he doesn't get to eat your food, drink your water or wash in your hot water or turn your lights on. What a tit!

AriettyHomily Thu 28-May-20 11:35:05

Fuck that.

Windyatthebeach Thu 28-May-20 11:35:14

Tell him he needs pay half for dc's stuff. His birthday present can be a pair of rubber gloves /window cleaning kit.. Something useful.
Or better still a suitcase...

ComDummings Thu 28-May-20 11:35:55

LTB I’m not even joking

1990shopefulftm Thu 28-May-20 11:36:12

He's not contributing to his kids when he could? I d agree unfortunately you could be better alone. An adult shouldn't be expecting expensive birthday gifts when they have kids that should come first

mindutopia Thu 28-May-20 11:37:34

Is he not earning at all? Unless he's a barber, I can't think of many self-employed jobs that aren't starting to go back to work. There may have been a bit of a bump when money was down (and actually it may be wise to save that money for the next bump in business because there won't be any more grants). But surely he can be getting back to work now and bringing in money.

Moanyoldbugger Thu 28-May-20 11:38:47

Exactly he said I'm not using my savings for bills! How on earth can you save if you have bills that need paying. It blows my mind!

Since this lockdown has happened all his done is sit down on his arse and have a go at me for working long hours because he's stuck with the kids. But in my head I'm trying to play catch up because I know what bills I have to pay and then I normally put a bit into my savings.

He is just out right refusing to use his savings at all because he knows I can make the money in time.

I feel like I've fell out of love with him he doesn't bring anything to my life anymore he isn't a real man. He doesn't provide for any of us he's just an embarrassment and his makes me cringe.

OP’s posts: |
MulticolourMophead Thu 28-May-20 11:40:24

He needs to be spending his share. That grant is for covering current costs, not for adding to his savings.

He spends, or he leaves.

This is financial abuse. I left my ex after he bled me dry, it was one of many reasons I left.

UnfinishedSymphon Thu 28-May-20 11:40:26

Sounds like a cocklodger, get rid

VettiyaIruken Thu 28-May-20 11:40:43

Come on he's taking the piss. If he wants a roof over his head, he pays for it. If he wants food in his belly, he pays for it.

These savings, joint money? Can you dip in? I'm guessing not.

You'd be a fool to pay for this 'man' to get a free ride. Savings are for riding you over in bad times, not for accumulating because you've made someone else pay for you!

YinMnBlue Thu 28-May-20 11:41:05

The £1k grant is in lieu of the money he would usually be earning, so how on earth does he think he is exempt from contributing his normal share of household costs?

tell him he has had something really brilliant for his birthday - a new car seat to keep his child safe.

Selfish cocklodger.

If you are starting to hate him, you need to seriously tell him that his selfishness is affecting your relationship.

And I would stop feeding him from groceries you buy.

Moanyoldbugger Thu 28-May-20 11:41:36

He's a scaffolder but they've not got any jobs booked in until after mid June. He signed up with Uber eats to deliver takeaway he had jobs popping up to take he did one and got paid £5 he said he's not doing all that driving for a lousy £5 "when you can make that money in minutes"

Sorry if I'm ranting I'm just furious and don't want to go mad at him in front of the kids.

OP’s posts: |
VettiyaIruken Thu 28-May-20 11:42:02

X post. Aaaaaand ... He doesn't want to take care of the kids either.

Dingalingaling, we have a cocklodger.

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