To smash up all DS screens

[OntheWaves40]

DS (14) has repeatedly ignored me when I’ve told him it’s lights out and removed his screens, he has sneaked downstairs for them, sneaked in to my bedroom when i’ve been in the bathroom for them, rooted through my drawers to look for them. The first night I confiscated his phone, the second his tablet and by the third his game console. I told him he would get them back on Sunday. This was Monday evening and since then I’ve caught him several times on one of them. Tonight he was on his tablet I grabbed it off him and smashed it up in front of him, then gathered his phone and console and threw them all out his bedroom window. His console is broke. His phone survived.
Now I don’t know what to do. He’s in his room and I’m in living room in shock.

[I8toys]

You've lost the plot - aggression in front of your child is not the answer. Pick your battles wisely.

[bigchris]

I'm calling bullshit

Who does that?

[OntheWaves40]

Me ☹️

[fourfuckssake4]

Wow!

[Walkthedinosauuuuur]

Get help

[OntheWaves40]

@bigchris i’m at the end of my teether with the blatant disregard.

Maybe I should get this moved to teenagers

[OntheWaves40]

@Walkthedinosauuuuur for DS?

[cheninblanc]

Take a breath. Start again tmrw. They can be very trying at this age

[Geminijes]

A person in sound mind would not smash up a tablet and throw a games console and mobile phone out of a window.

If you did, then you need help.

[JackRicher]

[Enchiladas]

I don't blame you OP just make sure not to replace them.

[melissasummerfield]

You need to get some self control!

[ThisIsNotARealAvo]

As tempting as this is, he will raise the stakes by breaking something valuable or important of yours. Believe me I have wanted to smash the screens many times, but I know that DS would retaliate by breaking something else. As would
I if someone did that to me.

However, if it's done now hopefully you can have a discussion about how it's making you feel and try to move forward.

[OntheWaves40]

@Geminijes then tell me what should I have done?

[Iliketonamechangealot9876542]

Firstly you need to sit down with your DS and explain that your actions were inappropriate and you are sorry and that you shouldn’t have reacted in that way.
Secondly you need to find an appropriate way to manage your emotions around this subject. It’s not okay to scream and shout.

[88hello88]

That’s abusive to your child -you need help with your anger

[88hello88]

Also you should hide them up better

[Delbelleber]

I think you should apologise for breaking his stuff, explain he pushed you over the edge. Tell him you never want to feel that angry again and he needs to cooperate with you and learn to respect the choices you make as his parent.

[OntheWaves40]

@ThisIsNotARealAvo I have tried talking to him all week. I don’t think he cares but I see that he’s likely to care less now

His exams start in 3 days, I don’t know how to get through to him. I’ve taken the week off work with him, been to cinema, played board games etc. He’s such a happy boy until he gets behind a screen then he gets obsessed and moody.

[GummyGoddess]

You should have put them in the car or loft instead if you knew he would go and look for them.

I don't know what I would do now in your position, probably I would apologise and replace them while continuing with a schedule to play them. Mainly because I remember growing up, my ex step father used to say that I owned nothing, he owned it all and could take whatever he wanted because it was all his. That's what you have basically done and it's really damaging.

[TwitcherOfCurtains]

You went a bit too far.

Could you take his gadgets to one of your friends houses for a couple of weeks if he acts up again? He wouldn't be able to get hold of them that way.

[Pippa12]

Persistently trying teenagers can push you to do things totally out of character. You know that it was wrong and not the answer, you’ve just ‘flipped’.

Don’t replace the console till he can show you some respect. Screens are the devil for youngsters! I feel for you. We all make horrific parenting mistakes from time to time.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I can see how it could have happened OP. Frustration drives us all to the brink.

Perhaps next time when you confiscate something put it somewhere he can’t get hold of it, for example, take it to your place of work and leave it there until he’s allowed it back.

Apologise to him tomorrow, explain why you got frustrated and acted that way, and then try and find a way forward together.

[Popfan]

Your actions were terrible and a really poor model of behaviour to show your son I'm afraid.

[formerbabe]

Firstly you need to sit down with your DS and explain that your actions were inappropriate and you are sorry and that you shouldn’t have reacted in that way

Actually I completely disagree with this. What you did wasn't great but apologising to him will, imo, embolden him.

Oh and you need a safe to put all confiscated devices.