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To be annoyed at people who do not know what food they like?

(93 Posts)
NeedCoffeeNowRightNow Sat 22-Feb-20 08:55:02

Examples: "I don't like vinegary food" -> I make less of the food with vinegar -> Person leans heavily on the food with vinegar (instead of the food they had exlicitly said they liked)

"Oh I hate tapas!" -> no problem, I am happy to make a different meal for some (something like pasta, pizza, tandoori chicken,...) -> everybody eats the tapas, extra meal remains untouched

Now, I always make roughly 1.5x to double of what I think we'll need in terms of food. But if the people who clearly do not know their own tastes end up eating the same, it ends up in relatively small portions for everyone. Which then makes me feel bad.

I have no issue to accommodate a fuzzy eater - DH has food sensitivies and I know how difficult it can be. But why do this? Someone please explain it to me. AIBU to be annoyed?

PeppaisaBitch Sat 22-Feb-20 09:14:53

Is it like when people ask for the meat on a set menu and then see the veggie option and have that instead leaving no veggie options for actual veggies?

Streamingbannersofdawn Sat 22-Feb-20 09:19:31

Oh this is irritating. Maybe be a bit less accommodating though. Make a small concession like more salad or extra bread or something.

My instant thought when I read your title was about 2 friends of mine who will always ask their partners "Will I like That?" What??

k1233 Sat 22-Feb-20 09:38:15

Perhaps they've only tasted bad versions of what you're serving? You know, like sushi can be bad or devinely good.

bridgetreilly Sat 22-Feb-20 09:45:13

I don't really understand the context of this, tbh. These are people you're inviting for meals in your house? Or family you cook for every day? Or catering for in a professional context?

In general, I think you just cook one meal and people either eat it or they don't. I definitely don't ask people for preferences beforehand. Allergies, sure, but general likes/dislikes? No.

NearlyGranny Sat 22-Feb-20 09:47:59

Picky eaters, ditherers and face-pullers are all just attention seekers imo. I consult for allergies, preferences and vege/vegan status and then create one appropriate menu for all, take it or leave it.

I blame parents who panic and faff around, fretting over what a child eats and begging them to try this tender morsel, or knock themselves out providing alternatives. It produces adults who expect the culinary world to revolve around them.

Want multiple choices? Go to a restaurant and order a la carte. Don't like something after all? Fine, leave it in the plate. I'm not offended but there's no alternative on offer.

idontlike789 Sat 22-Feb-20 09:53:09

Some people don't know , like if you go to a restaurant they will ask you what your having and they go I'll have that too , just eat what you fancy ffs.
I have a friend who does that I purposely say obscure things now on purpose or say one thing then order another. I don't know why it annoys me but you must know what you like and what you don't like , seems not .

buttermilkwaffles Sat 22-Feb-20 09:57:18

"Oh I hate tapas!"

That doesn't even make sense, a tapas dish could be almost anything, meat, fish, cheese, vegetables....and you would make a selection of them to choose from. So what exactly do they "hate"?

user5656 Sat 22-Feb-20 10:08:37

Slightly different, but I hate annoying conversations like this :
About 7pm
Me : Do you want something to drink? (ie an aperitif)
DH: erm, ok, why not, go on then
Me: ok, what?
DH: anything
Me: glass of water then?
DH: what have we got? What are you having?
FFS : can't he just say, yes, please a glass of wine/beer and be done with it.

cushioncovers Sat 22-Feb-20 10:22:02

Yes to meat eaters eating the veggie options as well as their own meaty choices and leaving the vegetarian with hardly any food. 😡

PanicAndRun Sat 22-Feb-20 12:22:57

YANBU. I'm very fussy and there are a few things that I will absolutely not eat,mostly because I'll end up retching at best,puking at worst. Those are the foods I mention as a big no. Anything else I'll try a bit and see how it goes.

I found the people that do this tend to have weird ideas about food,what you should eat or not etc so they'll claim they don't eat something and then stuff their face but it doesn't count because they said no to begin with.

NeedCoffeeNowRightNow Sat 22-Feb-20 12:35:44

I'm talking about friends and family. When they're coming over, one of us will check-in with them, something like "we we're thinking of doing tapas - does that sound okay?" Then they express some form of preference (again, fine by me) but end up eating what I've prepared for everyone else (not fine by me). Their dish goes untouched, because everyone things "well, A(-Z) is just trying this main thing and we should leave it for them so they have something to fill up on"

It drives me a little crazy.

NeedCoffeeNowRightNow Sat 22-Feb-20 12:36:51

Just to add, most people will just say that whatever we have planned sounds great and that is the end of it. But there are a few who do this consistently and it is become really annoying.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable Sat 22-Feb-20 12:41:20

when people ask for the meat on a set menu and then see the veggie option and have that instead leaving no veggie options for actual veggies?

This annoys me so much! As a veggie, it's so shit to arrive at the buffet and find nothing left for you but piles of meaty food.

ClientQueen Sat 22-Feb-20 12:44:57

Not a clue. I was taught it's polite to eat whatever is made for you. Plus I live alone so I am pathetically grateful not to have to cook, so even if you made me a cup of tea and cheese on toast I would be over the moon
I'm the perfect guest gringringrin

MatildaTheCat Sat 22-Feb-20 12:45:42

When I have guests I don’t offer them a choice of menu or discuss in advance what will be served. Obviously I cater for specific needs but no way would I say, ‘I’m doing tapas is that OK?’

janemaster Sat 22-Feb-20 12:48:35

I agree they have had crap versions of what you are cooking. My DP says he hates tapas. What he means is he hates what passes for tapas as places his friends go to. Over priced and boring food.
Make 1 meal, do some extra bread and salad, and that is it.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Sat 22-Feb-20 12:51:14

Neither would I. Veggie food - this should be the majority at a buffet. Then meat eaters who are usually omnivores can eat what they like and the vegetarians will still have plenty.

PhilCornwall1 Sat 22-Feb-20 12:53:27

I'll eat whatever is put on a plate if I am hungry. I'm not a lover of any type of food to be honest. I'll eat because there is a need to, not because I like it.

One meal a day sorts me out, if I'm not that hungry, it can just be some fruit.

BatShite Sat 22-Feb-20 13:09:40

Is it like when people ask for the meat on a set menu and then see the veggie option and have that instead leaving no veggie options for actual veggies?

Hmm. So meat eaters shouldn't order anything veggie because..they at meat? Its not possible for a carnivore to fancy something different.. hmm

BatShite Sat 22-Feb-20 13:11:28

Ah I see its in the cntext of it being a buffet type meal with very limited veggie options? Read it as..a menu item which there would be more of.

Bit different if, say, theres one veggie option on a large buffet and all the meat eaters take it..should have a bit of common sense reallt.

whitesoxx Sat 22-Feb-20 13:14:18

Fuzzy eaters smile

Op, what vinegary food are you making out of interest?

SluggishSnail Sat 22-Feb-20 13:19:19

That doesn't even make sense, a tapas dish could be almost anything, meat, fish, cheese, vegetables....and you would make a selection of them to choose from. So what exactly do they "hate"?

Maybe they have an aversion to the little dishes that tapas is served in?


Branster Sat 22-Feb-20 13:23:27

It’s just a minor irritation so you can easily let it go.
Stop asking what they’d like and prepare what you’d normally prepare. No brainier.
It’s some sort of immaturity with these indecisive people, too many choices and they are lost like a 4 year old.

NeedCoffeeNowRightNow Sat 22-Feb-20 13:30:58

@whitesoxx I think mostly salads, coleslaw, red cabbage, to pickle things, and meat sauces.

Also found this recipe for buttermilk ice with balsamic vinegar a while ago and it has been quite popular:

Honestly, 99% of the time I just freestyle my way through cooking, and if I think, "mhm, vinegar would go with this", add a dash.

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