To be annoyed at people who do not know what food they like?

[NeedCoffeeNowRightNow]

Examples: "I don't like vinegary food" -> I make less of the food with vinegar -> Person leans heavily on the food with vinegar (instead of the food they had exlicitly said they liked)

"Oh I hate tapas!" -> no problem, I am happy to make a different meal for some (something like pasta, pizza, tandoori chicken,...) -> everybody eats the tapas, extra meal remains untouched

Now, I always make roughly 1.5x to double of what I think we'll need in terms of food. But if the people who clearly do not know their own tastes end up eating the same, it ends up in relatively small portions for everyone. Which then makes me feel bad.

I have no issue to accommodate a fuzzy eater - DH has food sensitivies and I know how difficult it can be. But why do this? Someone please explain it to me. AIBU to be annoyed?

You do you, OP, without asking, and your guests take what they're given and love it. And they will! Your methods and you food sound great.

I never ask what people want to eat. I know which of my friends are vegetarian/vegan/gluten free so always ensure that they are catered for.
If it's someone new, I'll ask if there's anything they don't eat.

If asked, I might tell someone that I didn't like vinegary food. That doesn't mean that I don't like vinegar at all but I don't like anything pickled (red cabbage, beetroot, onions, herrings etc) and I hate mint sauce with lamb. Fortunately, those things tend to be extras so it's easy just to ignore them.

Lol ing at ‘fuzzy eaters’ sorry op! 😆

Some people like to make it all about them. They MUST make you aware that they won't eat x,y or z so you can then go to extra effort, just for them, as they're so special and all. (Even if it's pure fussiness and they will in fact eat practically everything).

Do these guests invite you back to eat meals they cooked, what lengths do they go to, to cater for your preferences?

I'm a bit puzzled as to how people can say they don't like tapas. Isn't tapas just small amounts of lots of different types of food, including meat/fish/vegetables/dairy/carbs, etc.?

I suppose I should have said, "Aren't tapas..."

Stop asking if things are okay. Just ask about allergies and dietary requirements and be done with it. No matter what is served someone is always going to have a preference for or against it anyway.

On the flip side, I went home last week and my Mum asked what I wanted. Thinking she needed help on making a choice I said I wouldn't mind lamb, she immediately replied with "I bought us some fish". I really didn't mind what she served and as a guest I don't want my food preferences to reign supreme anyway. It all seemed pointless!

@UnaCorda The choice of tapas dishes in chain places in Britain though usually are pretty boring. I would think people mean they don't like this

@NeedCoffeeNowRightNow YANBU!!!

I am actually so sick of fussy/faddy eaters that I refuse to entertain people in my home anymore I've got pescatarians, people who don't eat chicken, people who don't eat red meat, vegans, vegetarians... All faddy, fussy eaters, and I am fucked off with it.

The crunch came 2 years ago when it was my birthday, and 12-13 people were coming to our house after work to see me/drop off cards/gifts, and as they were coming from work, they wanted 'a bite to eat.'

So I spent my entire birthday (and several days before,) worrying and stressing about preparing and serving food, for a mixture of vegan, chicken hater, vegetarian, beef and lamb hater, and pescatarian.

I had to get loads of different things in the shopping, that cost around an extra £40, and also spent all of my birthday afternoon getting everything ready/preparing all the food.

Some birthday!

The following year I said I want to go out for a meal, and we can all pay for our own. But even THAT was stressful as everyone was arguing about the bill as a few of them had more than others!

So last year, I said me and DH are going away for 3 or 4 days, and didn't see ANYONE for my birthday. Fucking bliss.

This drives me mad from DD's friends, one of them in particular.

What would you like?
blank stare or "ummm don't know"

Would you like X Y or Z?
"Umm don't know"

Ok I'm making Z
I make it, friend proceeds to pull face and say they wanted Y

AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH

Your mistake is in asking "we are making some kind of tapas, is that OK?" Why be needy for their approval , just prepare what you planned.

Are you generally a people pleaser? I try to cook food that I think guests will like, and take into account allergies, veganism etc, but separate little meals for fussy people? Nah

Also most of my family members - I never kow what they can have because their faddy eating habits are always changing to the next trend

So if they're coming I ask what can you eat and they tell me their current requirements which I go out and spend money on.

Then they ignore them and eat the stuff I bought for me and the DC

The problem with meaty and veggie food at buffets is that lazy caterers often assume that meat eaters only want meat dishes and cater accordingly. I do eat some meat so could eat the meaty options, but my preference would be for veggie food so I tend to go for that mainly. I do not want to be saddled with endless pork pies or meat products so someone else can have a second slice of veggie quiche, just because the caterer has made a poor assumption.

Needs to be a fair selection of both.

@09BatShite
Is it like when people ask for the meat on a set menu and then see the veggie option and have that instead leaving no veggie options for actual veggies?

Hmm. So meat eaters shouldn't order anything veggie because..they at meat? Its not possible for a carnivore to fancy something different.. hmm

Did you miss the bit where they said "when people ask for the meat", so ordering meat then eating the vegetarians food. If they fancy something different they should have ordered the vegetarian option!

When I was a kid, me and my brother had 2 choices when it came to meals.

1. Eat it.

1. Starve.

So many people take the piss now, and people enable them by not saying 'eat that or starve, or make yer fucking own!' No way would my mother or hers before her, have pandered to fussy eaters, and fads. You'd eat what you were given, and be bastard grateful.

Examples: "I don't like vinegary food" -> I make less of the food with vinegar -> Person leans heavily on the food with vinegar (instead of the food they had exlicitly said they liked) Yes, but they didn't explicitly say they liked it, did they? Just that they didn't like vinegary food. Presumably they judge food on more than one dimension, so no reason why, faced with your two particular dishes, they shouldn't have found that in this case the one with more vinegar was more to their taste.

As a veggie, it's so shit to arrive at the buffet and find nothing left for you but piles of meaty food As a non-veggie who doesn't eat much meat, it's bad to find piles of sausage rolls and pork pies, both of which are too fatty for me, and egg sandwiches, which I enjoy, but I am supposed to leave for the veggies.

@user5656
There's an easy answer to that one.

Every time he says 'anything' give him a glass of water. Even better, spend ages making yourself a fancy cocktail, special gin and tonic with ice, a slice and a swirly stick or whatever in a really smart glass. Bring them both into the room at the same time. Hand him the glass (or mug if feeling really mean) of cold water and settle down to enjoy your drink.

Refuse to entertain getting him something else until

1. you have finished your drink and
2. he has drunk every last drop of the water.

Pretty sure it won't happen more than twice - probably only once but some people are slow learners.

Should people de-fuzz before meals?

I get why vegetarians are annoyed at arriving at a buffet to find only meat options, but I don't understand why they blame the omnivores.

Surely the blame lays squarely with the caterers who didn't think it would be a good idea to do more veggie and less meat options.

I went to an all-day work event many years ago.
Food was served for people to help themselves.
There was one Jewish person, one Muslim and two vegetarians.
First 4 people took the non-meat option and possibly the meat option.
4 people went hungry as the food left was meat based.

It happens at barbecues and buffets too.
It's the caterers fault.

YANBU to be annoyed. I'd stop asking (and maybe even telling). If it's family and close friends, you probably know their restrictions and serious, long-standing hates and they can proactively tell you if something changes. I'd go with your gut and make what you think is balanced/ample.

I do understand wanting to set expectations - you don't want people skipping lunch anticipating a full Sunday roast with all the trimmings if you just planned to order in pizza or serve a light tea. But as long as there's ample food served at some sort of "normal" time, they should be fine.

Hating tapas is outrageous, but I agree, they've probably had some bland/bad faux-upscale chain tapas. I'd be curious about the vinegar - maybe they hate strong, sharp white wine/cider vinegar but don't realise they'd like mild aged balsamic, or something?

God yes.

I've been told by people they can't eat gluten, provided extra dishes and then watched them hoover up the leftover pizza I've bought for the kids.

Or "trying to exclude lactose" and then hoovering up a whole cheese board because it "looked so nice".

My mother does stuff like this all the time, grrr. One Christmas they came for a meal and I made her favourite sponge pudding and home made ice cream specially. But because my BIL's mum (diabetic) was there I'd also made a sugar free jelly. My mum made a big show of watching her figure, no need to gorge ourselves etc. and had sugar free jelly. Later my husband found her scoffing gingerbread men and smarties nicked from our kids' sweetie tin.

We're going to friends for dinner tonight. I have no idea what we're having. I won't know until we get there. I'm sure it will be delicious. I would find it very odd if she called to ask what we'd like - but then again DH and I aren't fussy at all.

@MikeUniformMike.

Don't know, but after a few large glasses of wine, all food starts to look a bit fuzzy to me.