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To ask for your interesting and shocking overheard conversation experiences?

(308 Posts)
AlternativePerspective Wed 09-Oct-19 09:38:12

On a train yesterday.

Three other people several rows in front having a very loud, and very explicit conversation. The girl using the f word like it was punctuation and going on about how when she got money on Friday she would be buying some weed because all she needed was a spliff. shock then telling one of the blokes to be grateful because “Well I gave you two blowjobs yesterday so shut the fuck up.....”. shock shock. Man came by with a bike and one of the blokes shouting out to him that he was stealing his bike. He wasn’t and just ignored the bloke.

They were the types that IMO if you approached them you would be asking for trouble. I was both horrified and amused in equal measure...

I’ve come across all sorts on public transport but these were a revelation even to me. grin.

So anyone else want to share their overheard conversation stories?

Span1elsRock Wed 09-Oct-19 09:51:14

I take my Dad to a hospital clinic once every 6 weeks and we seem to be on the same schedule as this charming young lady who seems to have made a career out of illness and whatever benefit she can claim for it. I don't know whether she realises how loud she is, but someone is going to report her one of these days and it can't come soon enough frankly.

The thought of precious money and time so thoughtlessly being taken from the NHS makes me furious though.

easyandy101 Wed 09-Oct-19 09:57:26

Once looking at sandwiches in m&s and 2 women were looking at the salads and one said

"I read these salads contain more chlorine than an umm, umm... erm"

"A swimming pool?"

"Yep, a swimming pool"

Then they both got sandwiches

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Wed 09-Oct-19 09:59:43

Not me personally, sadly, although I would have loved to have been there, but a friend was at a big works function in Liverpool once and the very noisy room fell instantly silent when somebody made a comment recalling a similar event:

"Yeah, this one time, somebody crapped in the scouse.... and they had to throw HALF OF IT away!"

in case anybody doesn't know, scouse (full name: lobscouse) is a kind of traditional local stew and is the source of the nickname 'Scouser' for Liverpudlians

JoyceDivision Wed 09-Oct-19 10:03:02

"I don't care if you like it [new underwear being held up] as long as it gets me a shag"

My parents (in their early 60s) when they didn't realise I was in the next room and could hear them 😂😂

YoureAQuizardHarry Wed 09-Oct-19 10:06:25

Yeah my mum was driving home and she heard this massive bang and she lost power so she pulled over which was hard as she was in the fast lane on the motorway and when she did she couldn't get the bonnet up so she called the AA out and when they got there they found the engine had just fallen out hmm

lovelygreenjumper Wed 09-Oct-19 10:10:58

On a train I once saw a young woman show her friend her electronic tag and complain that it was wrong that she was forced to wear it as the person she had assaulted didn't even need any hospital treatment (I have paraphrased- her description was much more...colourful!). She was outraged that 'basically against human rights' since it meant her 'officer' (whatever that is) would know where she was and it would stop her going to parties, hanging out where she wanted to and meant that she couldn't even go near the victim to have it out with her. I was a bit tempted to point out that that's the point of the thing- but I suspected she'd not like it

cleanasawhistle Wed 09-Oct-19 10:11:22

...had a night away with some family.

All four of us arrived at one house at the same time.
All got into one car together and drove to destination.
Get to hotel and split into 2....so 2 sharing each hotel room.
Meet up after unpacking and have a couple of drinks and nice conversation.

Go back to hotel room. I say I will go into bathroom put Pjs on.
I come out of the bathroom and this women I am sharing a room with is on the phone to her husband and I hear her saying....

I just want to come home,we are not used to to this behaviour,we dont behave like this.....huband saying something....her saying I knew it was a mistake to come away with them ...they just dont know how to behave in public.

Whatisthisfuckery Wed 09-Oct-19 10:16:07

My old hair dresser was a bit of a twat, always on his phone. Anyway one day I was in there waiting for my usual cut. And he was on the phone to his gf.

‘No, social services haven’t called me yet. I’m just going to tell them I was asleep, x woke me up and startled me so I just punched out at him.’

X was a 7 year old child.

I didn’t go back to that hair dresser. He was always up to something dodgy, telling me about his attempted conquests and his attitude towards women, especially older women was awful. He also tried to charge me a tenner more than a man for the same haircut, just because I’m female. No thanks.

YoureAQuizardHarry Wed 09-Oct-19 10:16:21

@cleanasawhistle did you call her out on it?! I'd have been furious! angry

PickettBowtruckles Wed 09-Oct-19 10:19:16

I once was sat in a restaurant and there were 3 girls at the table next to me. They were hairdressers and I overheard one was talking about a client she’d had that day. She had done a wedding hair trial and was being really very mean about the style the bride has chosen. Then she started talking about the bride and the family and how ‘weird’ they were. When she used names I realised I knew the family and was actually going to that wedding! Granted they are quite different and unique and the brides style was probably unusual but the hairdresser was taking it a bit far moaning beyond the chosen hair style! I did turn round the second time she said her name and smiled and said ‘Oh! Sorry I recognise that name and I heard you say about a wedding! I’m going next weekend too, are you?’ She went a bit red and started saying how lovely the bride was and she’d really enjoyed meeting her! I’m sure she knew I had heard her though. I never told the bride as we were not super close and also it was so close to her wedding I’m not sure it’d have done anything than stress her out and mean she needed to find a new one! For what it’s worth, her hair looked lovely on the day!

Crusytoenail Wed 09-Oct-19 10:26:37

I overhear a lot that makes me want to rip my ears off working behind a bar.
However the worst was a group of men, middle class types who were on a stopover for their bike ride.
They were discussing in detail, how they fooled their wives and gf's to be able to go on these rides that in actual fact were shagfests and how they'd lucked out at this particular place because it was a quiet village rather than somewhere with a busy enough night life to get laid. The attitude towards women in general was 😳 and they asked me where they could go to 'pick up a woman round here'.

cleanasawhistle Wed 09-Oct-19 10:26:49

@YoureAQuizardHarry

The shocking thing is that no I didnt.
It was my sister.
She has done many things over the years and trips herself up.But we all put up with it and say nothing.

I actually replied on the NC WITH SIBLING thread that I was considering doing it myself

BarkandCheese Wed 09-Oct-19 10:32:13

I spent years commuting by train, but odd hours so I had a more “colourful” crowd than the usual nine to fivers.

Probably the most shock but funny thing I ever heard was the young man explaining to his friends how he’d attempted to pierce his own ear. He’d got a carpet tack and a hammer, put his earlobe against the wooden bed head and hammered the tack in. He hadn’t actually thought this through though because he was then attached to the bed head and bleeding profusely. He had to shout for his mum to come and help him get free!

Then there were the rather posh ladies who were discussing a recent tour of Brussels with their choir. The choir leader had set them a challenge of finding the most unlikely object made out of chocolate. These ladies had bought a chocolate spanner, but they were scandalised by the winner, a chocolate willy with, in their words “umm...white chocolate piping on the the top to represent...ummm...you know...stuff “. grin

I also saw some sights, late night shagging unfortunately wasn’t uncommon. One (non sexual) thing which sticks in my mind was the very drunk man “drinking” coffee. He was half asleep, clearly pissed with a cup of coffee. He kept lifting the cup up in an attempt to get it into his mouth, but he constantly missed and threw coffee over his chin and chest instead. He continued to do this until the cup was completely empty, failing to get any in his mouth at all.

Secretlifeofme Wed 09-Oct-19 10:37:58

I have high hopes for this thread grin can't think of any at present but will come back later hopefully

cleanasawhistle Wed 09-Oct-19 10:39:33

Stood in school playground.

A football coach was standing there when a mother and son approached him.Mother says I have spoken to John and he says he didnt pick up a stone and scratch your car last night.
The coach says....I told you last night that I actually saw John do that with my own eyes.
Mother says but he said he didnt.
Coach says I dont care what he said I actually saw him.

Mother walks off and past me saying to her son I cant believe he is accusing you of that

Tighnabruaich Wed 09-Oct-19 10:39:44

I was in a train carriage one afternoon going from London to Brighton. The carriage was empty apart from one seat a couple of rows down from me, occupied by four boys, aged about 12. They were unaware I was behind them, and were talking at the very top of their voices about oral sex. They obviously had no idea about female anatomy and were describing it very badly to one boy who seemed baffled, especially when one said 'yeah, you put your whole head inside her, cos a baby can come out of it, so there's room'.

I stood up and their jaws dropped when they realised there was a woman sitting behind them. I told them, smiling politely, that until they'd actually been in contact with a real live woman they should keep their ridiculous ideas to themselves and would they mind shutting the fuck up.

Total silence for the rest of the journey.

Littlemeadow123 Wed 09-Oct-19 10:40:19

To be honest, me and a friend of mine have discussions about pretend events and situations because the shocked and astonished expressions on eavesdropper's faces are hilarious.

YoureAQuizardHarry Wed 09-Oct-19 10:44:38

@Littlemeadow123 same, I've been known to have funny conversations on the phone because people are staring..

'What Do you mean?!'

' they removed the pineapple from where?!'

Greenvalleymama Wed 09-Oct-19 10:50:07

I remember intense discussion at the table next to us in a small cafe about how many times 100 went into a thousand. It was painful to listen to!

Tyrotoxicity Wed 09-Oct-19 10:52:40

"No, mam, you know i wouldn't. I'm a perfect gentleman to women... Yeah, I slapped her as hard as I fucking could when she said that." -- neighbour on the phone the other day.

Not even the most shocking thing I overheard that day, but as the rest went into a witness statement I'll leave it out.

LightandShadows Wed 09-Oct-19 10:55:25

I have three so far

Standing at a bus stop, a young girl talking to her friend about how much she fancied a certain boy.
The boy, was at the time my brothers best friend, and no I never told either of them.

In a pub and overheard the two men on the table next to me talking about how one man needed to choose between two woman, one with children, the man was saying how he loved them both and could not choose, despite his friend telling him it was not fair to treat either of them like that and to think of the children.
I never did figure out if he was married to either of them and was having an affair or just seeing them both.

Overheard at a bus stop again, a group of about 5 teens, all male, talking about porn and a certain pornstar, one of the boys, said with total amazement in his voice, about how she even puts cocks in her mouth.

Spidey66 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:03:33

I was in the pub one Sunday lunchtime with my husband. There was a family sitting next to us with two primary school aged children. Another man comes comes in and joins them. The mother asked him how the new baby was and he said he was doing well. The mum said ''Is he still waking for a night feed?'' and he said yes. She asked if he was helping with the night feeds, and he said yes, he keeps a bottle of coke by the bed and when the baby wakes he gives the baby some coke!!!!

The baby was FOUR WEEKS OLD!

When the mother expressed her shock at this, he couldn't understand where he was going wrong!

No word of a lie, he was deadly serious, it wasn't said as a joke. He didn't appear the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Unfortunately we didn't know anything of his personal details, otherwise we would have considered reporting it to social sevices. Me and my husband were looking at each other like this little fella--->shock

Bubblesgun Wed 09-Oct-19 11:23:57

I was in a restaurant in London with my husband. When he went to the bathroom, I realised there was an man that looks like to be in his 50s and a young woman probably in her 20s crying. I admit i started to pay attention in case the man was awful to her and she would need help.

I realised then she was confronting her bio dad and asking him “what took you so long to reach out? Where were you when I needed you? Why didnt you care about me?” Etc.

It was heartbreaking. I cannot forget it. No children should suffer like that.

The dad, to be fair to him, was humbled and didnt try to justify his actions in the snapshot i saw and heard. When they were ready to leave i heard him ask her “i am truly sorry”.

In my dreams i finish the discussion tge following way. When I dream he says “I was nothing you had done. You were and still are beautifully witty and smart. I was young, lost and selfish. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me. I hope that one day you can give me a second chance to show who I truly am. Until then, I am here for you at the end of the phone if you want to see me or need anything”.

I will never know how it ended. I wish her the best.

poppet31 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:53:06

I was walking down a street in Glasgow once and overheard 'that was when the budgie fell in the mince.' Always wanted to hear the rest of that story! grin

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