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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for your interesting and shocking overheard conversation experiences?

320 replies

AlternativePerspective · 09/10/2019 09:38

On a train yesterday.

Three other people several rows in front having a very loud, and very explicit conversation. The girl using the f word like it was punctuation and going on about how when she got money on Friday she would be buying some weed because all she needed was a spliff. then telling one of the blokes to be grateful because “Well I gave you two blowjobs yesterday so shut the fuck up.....”. . Man came by with a bike and one of the blokes shouting out to him that he was stealing his bike. He wasn’t and just ignored the bloke.

They were the types that IMO if you approached them you would be asking for trouble. I was both horrified and amused in equal measure...

I’ve come across all sorts on public transport but these were a revelation even to me. .

So anyone else want to share their overheard conversation stories?

OP posts:

ILiveInSalemsLot · 09/10/2019 20:18

I was walking in East London and there were two young men in front of me talking about someone they knew who had had his ‘finger off’ because he’d been caught doing something
‘You don’t mess around with them and not expect to have your finger off’ they were saying.
I was a bit scared.

LaserShark · 09/10/2019 20:41

On holiday at a quiet Eurocamp full of families. A mother with young sons - maybe 7 and 9 was drinking a glass of wine at the table next to mine and one of the boys came to give her a hug. She hissed at him to go away, to just leave her alone, that “daddy is off doing whatever he likes and I’m stuck with YOU all the time”. There was so much venom in her voice. The child slunk off with his brother. I have never forgotten it. Her husband was a cyclist; he’d clearly abdicated all responsibility and pissed off all holiday on his bike rides and I’m sure she was at the end of her tether but to take it out on her children with such cold, furious resentment of them was something I will never forget. My heart really broke for that little boy.

SettyBuarez · 09/10/2019 20:44

In the local Asda about 10ish years ago, shampoo aisle, two lads of about 16/17. One said to the other in the most disbelieving tone "but he didn't actually have the sex change operation did he?".
Also me and a friend who has a deep love of all films gory and horrible. On a day out with my family 17ish years ago, we were in a very busy carriage and couldn't sit with my family. She told me the plot of some horror film she'd watched (something about a hill and a house and haunted...?) in explicit detail to the point where people were moving away and my mum had to come over and tell us to shut up!

listsandbudgets · 09/10/2019 20:45

On a bus recently I heard a lady loudly announcing to her friend whod just got on at a different stop to her:

"I'm grand thanks.. should be getting my anus botoxed next week and that should sort out the you know what problem "

I really really wanted to hear the rest of the conversation but sadly was already late si could hardly stay on an extra stop or two ti eavesdrop!!

Purplespup16 · 09/10/2019 20:48

Gone shopping and the car park we had parked in was very close to the local magistrates court. As we walked past the building two guys were walking in the opposite direction.

Guy1: If you ever have to go to court make sure it's this one... I've been 3 times and got off every time.
Guy2: Yeah I've been in there twice same happened... I tell all my mates to make sure they get here.

😒

hipslikecinderella · 09/10/2019 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

rslsys · 09/10/2019 21:00

Overheard in a National Trust property today “You think they’d put up notices to warn Vegans there are stuffed birds in cases here”

Goldenhedgehogs · 09/10/2019 21:03

I was once in a rough sleepers night shelter and I heard a member of staff ask a client You don't have a rat in there? As the ladies handbag was moving. All affronted the lady said No it's a pigeon. The lady then opened the handbag to prove a point and there was a very bemused looking pigeon. Truly weird.

ProfessorPootle · 09/10/2019 21:28

On a plane, 3hr journey, to a country in Eastern Europe. Most people on the plane were from that country and speaking that language and small bits of English. I was sat with my sons who were aged 5 and 7, we were only speaking in English. Young man in front who was also from the country we were visiting speaking in English to English teenager who was travelling alone in great detail about his gay sex life, very explicit, very loudly for the whole 3hrs. Luckily my sons too young to understand. When we stood up to get off plane he realised he had a family of English speakers behind him, I think he thought no one understood. He looked horrified and tried to make small talk with the kids.

ChidiAnnaKendrick · 09/10/2019 21:45

My best friend and I used to play a game when walking or on public transport called ‘and that’s when he came...’ points awarded to whoever managed to come up with the ending that got the best reactions.

“And that’s when he came all over her freshly dyed hair! It’s took me ages to lick it all off, taste was even worse than usual.”

Sorry if any of you heard us but it was and is fucking hilarious Particularly because my best friend is a gay man.

NanooCov · 09/10/2019 21:51

When I had DS1, there was a young lady in the next bed to me in the post natal ward who was really struggling. No evidence of family support and she spoke not a word of English. Didn't know what to do with her newborn at all. The midwife came to help her out and from the overheard conversation it appeared the only clothes she had for the baby were toddler sized, she had no nappies at all and the wipes she had brought thinking they could be used on the baby were Dettol surface wipes. Heart breaking. Midwife helped her out but I worry for her still almost 5 years later. DS has to go into SCBU so I never saw her again.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 09/10/2019 22:35

I was in town waiting for DD one day, a group of the local beggars are behind me (I'm quite aware of my surroundings, I have a lot of anxiety issues, and I was feeling particularly vulnerable)

They're talking quite matter of factly about sharing their bag of "bang"
Ones saying well I ain't fuckin had none,
Guy with no legs in wheelchair says "I get more money that's my bag
First guy starts saying hes gonna push him into the road if he carries on.

Tillygetsit · 09/10/2019 23:39

Overheard on a ferry... "It's not the sea making me feel sick, it's your putrid face." Elderly woman to presumably her husband.

Skittlesandbeer · 09/10/2019 23:54

I’m perfectly bilingual. It happens fairly often that people hearing me speak one language assume I don’t speak any others. So they feel free to comment on things about me, within my hearing.

Lucky I’m not easily offended. I’ve become expert in waiting until the prime moment of eavesdropping before turning to face them and responding in their local accent. I really should start taking pics of their reactions. Fascinating how many shades of red and purple the human face can turn.

Last one I remember was a husband and wife commenting on my choice of bathing suit, my parenting and my kid’s hair. They would have been little more than a metre away. They’d heard me speak English to DD, so felt safe to go to town on us, including some choice phrases about ‘tourists’. When I spoke to them, her reaction was priceless. She turned on hubby and started hitting him (quite hard) for embarrassing her. Which lead to the whole beach staring at them in amused horror.

Yeah, those tourists are really lowering the tone...

ithinkmycatistryingtokillme · 10/10/2019 00:03

On the train a woman had very loud conversation about how unfair it was that social services had removed her baby.

Among the gems mentioned was driving while drunk with baby in the car and leaving baby outside a pub while she had a fight with someone in the toilets.

Apprently it was all ok because she loved her baby!

She talking so loud the whole carriage could hear(think she had had a few) and my dds(11+15) got quite an education

Howlovely · 10/10/2019 04:07

After a night out a young couple was walking ahead eating chips. They are bickering and rowing and the girl then strops, "You obviously don't love me", and storms ahead. Man runs after her proclaiming, "Of course I loves you! I buys you chips and fucks you, don't I?"

SucculentCandle · 10/10/2019 07:08

Skittlesandbeer when I went to visit my grandmother in hospital for the last time, my Mum and I were speaking English - not the language of the country my grandmother was living in. Grandmother was in a room with two other women (but sadly pretty much out of it). I heard the two women discuss how we were both English and visiting from overseas. I interrupted in their language to tell them that yes, we were visiting and I would be leaving to go back to the country I was living in later that day. They weren't expecting that.

Many years ago the company I worked for employed a lot of guys who lived a long way from the office so they'd stay near the office during the week and return home for the weekends.
I sometimes used to hear a guy in the next office talking to his wife first thing in a sweet, sickly voice saying "Ok, have a great day, Love yooooouu! Byyyyyyyye!"
Then straight away hang up, dial another number and say "Hi, I'd like to book a table for two for tonight..." He was fucking the cleaner.

whatdayisit7 · 10/10/2019 08:26

On a Megabus journey recently, a woman was on the phone discussing the sexual escapades of one of her friends on the dining room table. She then proceeded to reveal that she had been debating having a Hollywood wax for some time but feared it would hurt a lot as her pubic hair is very coarse.

DarrellMakepeace · 10/10/2019 08:43

Love this thread. Haven't got any contribution myself but placemarking to read all of yours.

SingingLily · 10/10/2019 09:04

Two elderly women, overheard on bus:

Woman 1: "So we've decided we're going to the dogs' home and adopt a stray."
Woman 2: "The local one?"
Woman 1 (offended): "No! Do you think I'm daft? We're going to the one in . They'll have a better class of dog there".

AGnu · 10/10/2019 09:15

IKEA cafe at about 11am, 2 respectable looking, 40-50-something women. I was walking past at toddler speed & heard one loudly say to the other, "Well, I wouldn't normally go back to his place on the first date but I'm glad I did last night. He was so good in bed, especially the anal."

She looked like my mum & I got the giggles & had to scoop my toddler up & make a fast exit!

Shockers · 10/10/2019 09:16

I overheard a man talking about his wife’s cystitis the other day. She was standing next to him at the time, nodding in agreement. I can’t for the life of me remember where I was, but it made me chuckle.

babyrefusesfood · 10/10/2019 09:39

Shameless placemarking

StormTreader · 10/10/2019 10:31

I was once walking back to someones house with some friends, there was a couple walking behind us arguing in that low key reasonable I'm not happy kind of tone of voice. We were vaguely listening in, ready to all agree that the woman was being totally reasonable and the man was being an arse, fully expecting something like "you were ignoring me all evening" or "you need to start doing your share of the dishes".

It quickly became apparent that she was insisting that he CUT HIS PENIS with a knife in some kind of "showing your devotion to the lord with blood" thing, and that this was only their second date. She seemed baffled that he wouldn't do this to show his devotion, he was very reasonably explaining that in fact he wouldn't be doing that, culminating in a beautifully humdrum "I think I'll give it a swerve". We actually started walking slower to try and stretch out the time we could listen because it was so unbelievable, they eventually unfairly ruined our cunning plan by overtaking us and walking off.

We still randomly use "I think I'll give it a swerve" sometimes.

MrsD28 · 10/10/2019 10:32

On the antenatal ward being induced with DC1.... the family in the cubicle next door were having a long conversation about someone that they had stabbed and set on fire (!!!) but how no one would be able to pin it on them. We got the impression that the perpetrator was the pregnant woman! As PP have said, amazing how many people think that those cubicle curtains are soundproof.

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