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Original poster

To ask for your interesting and shocking overheard conversation experiences?

320 replies

AlternativePerspective · 09/10/2019 09:38

On a train yesterday.

Three other people several rows in front having a very loud, and very explicit conversation. The girl using the f word like it was punctuation and going on about how when she got money on Friday she would be buying some weed because all she needed was a spliff. Shock then telling one of the blokes to be grateful because “Well I gave you two blowjobs yesterday so shut the fuck up.....”. Shock Shock. Man came by with a bike and one of the blokes shouting out to him that he was stealing his bike. He wasn’t and just ignored the bloke.

They were the types that IMO if you approached them you would be asking for trouble. I was both horrified and amused in equal measure...

I’ve come across all sorts on public transport but these were a revelation even to me. Grin.

So anyone else want to share their overheard conversation stories?

OP posts:
Neighneigh · 09/10/2019 17:53

Not exactly an "overheard" but I recently saw the husband of a mum (I only know her vaguely) from school kissing another woman in a pub in a town about 45 mins from us. And no, I won't be saying or doing anything about it.

LostaraYil · 09/10/2019 17:55

I was covering a lesson once with a very small group of generally pleasant, well-behaved 14-15 year olds and once they got on with their work I got on with mine. After a while I heard the group, both boys and girls, discussing in quite graphic detail how they remove their pubic hair (what do you do about the hair around your arsehole?).

RightOnTheEdge · 09/10/2019 18:05

Around ememberence day one year I heard a grown woman ask the people she was sat with "If its called the war of the roses why does everyone wear a poppy?"
🤔🤔😂

Kiki275 · 09/10/2019 18:09

Overheard on a busy Manchester pedestrian street, "you don't like bein' shagged against a bin like most girls" 😆 x

elloelloello · 09/10/2019 18:25

On a camping holiday years ago, we were staying on a campsite in some woods with camping pitches in little clearings.

We were just getting into bed when I hear some rustling in the bushes then “I’m on my period, but it doesn’t matter, I’ll just take the tampon out”

I was at work in the summer, all windows open talking to some customers. A woman on her phone stops outside the open windows and has a very long and loud conversation about how she’d stopped taking the pill but wasn’t going to tell her boyfriend. Apparently he was adamant they were too young for a baby but she was determined

I went out to warn her we could hear every word and might want to have her conversation elsewhere. Got called a nosy bitch and told to fuck off

Run4it2 · 09/10/2019 18:26

1 on a bus at night. Girl behind obviously feeling v bitter about her ex, ranting on the phone to a friend about him and his new 'boring high-pitched girlfriend'

2 after I had ds, another woman on the ward saying (to her thousand friends and family) that she'd texted everyone about having her baby and had received a death threat from a woman who thought she was saying it was the second woman's son's baby

biggles50 · 09/10/2019 18:36

In a doctor's surgery years ago. Mother and daughter of about 16 saying "He says it's definitely a tampon stuck up there, that's what the smell is."

Sheld0r · 09/10/2019 18:37

Not sure if anyone has mentioned it but there's a funny video of a guy filming the reactions of people to his awkward phone conversations...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=U-UYK4nahoo

LipSyncForYourLife · 09/10/2019 18:45

Listening to two middle-aged gay guys in a pub:

So you’ve never had sex with a woman?
No
Not even at school?
Does a tit-wank count?

sazzle27 · 09/10/2019 19:00

I had one walking around a shop..

I was browsing mens undies for DO for stocking fillers, and there was a lad there... must have been early twenties, shopping with his girlfriend. I guess she was trying to get some ideas for what to buy him as she pointed to the calvins, exclaiming that he liked those ones but what size did he wear...

As loud as anything, he replied "babe I don't know do I, you'll have to look in my waistband. My mum normally buys my clothes"
His mate tagging behind them takes the mickey, and then the guy looks up, sees me stood there, and goes bright red, trying to shuck it off with a bit of bravado "that was loud wasnt it, omg etc"

managedmis · 09/10/2019 19:09

They were planning a day trip to London. Then one of them said "And it should be really quiet on a Sunday as everyone will be in church!"
I nearly choked on my continental breakfast

^^

Grin

I once overhead two delightful Canadian ladies in Toronto discussing that fact that there was a shuttle between Heathrow and Gatwick and it 'only took 20 minutes' and they'd be sure to make their connection to Hong-Kong or wherever with an hour or something ridiculous

I didn't have the heart to intervene

managedmis · 09/10/2019 19:09

Anyone mentioned cunt for the butter yet?

Utini · 09/10/2019 19:13

Overheard someone in a waiting room talking about a documentary or article or something, about an animal that was the last of its species. "What I don't understand is, if they knew it was the last of its species, why didn't they breed it?"

FairyDogMother11 · 09/10/2019 19:16

I work in a pub, and quite a few years ago I was working a night shift on a Saturday. Two girls sat on a table together, one says to the other, "isn't that vodka? I thought you were pregnant?" And the other girl responded, "ah it won't do any harm, it's just a few doubles, I'll dance it off" Shock still not quite past that even all these years later!

Alpacamabags · 09/10/2019 19:23

In a primary school playground in a less than desirable area.
Scary lady 1 " c'mon then"
Male bystander" ye cannae hit her she's pregnant"
Scary lady 1 "aye well her pus isnae pregnant!"
I left swiftly while management defused the situation.

Justaboutawake · 09/10/2019 19:32

In Specsavers this weekend, optician to customer- “you know, you really shouldn’t be driving at night with sunglasses on” Shock

BeBraveAndBeKind · 09/10/2019 19:33

We used to live on a road used as a shortcut for people walking home from pubs and clubs and heard some absolute crackers through the open window in the early hours of the morning.

The one I remember best though was a woman following a man up the road begging him to come back and he was telling her to go away. Then she shouted, in a beseeching voice "But I offered you dinner and pussy and you left!"

emelsie · 09/10/2019 19:50

Mine was sad , I was on a hospital ward after having my appendix out and there was a woman in the next bed just separated by the curtain , I'm not sure what she was in for, but during the night she was in agony and I know the nurses came in at some point to change her and the bed and wash her down , shortly after lots of doctors came in to her and told her she had a perforated bowel and they were taking her in for surgery and that there was a 30% ? ( I'm pretty sure that was the number I know it was what I thought to be shockingly high though ) chance she wouldn't make it and that her family were on their way, she was taken to surgery and I was discharged and I never know what happened to her . Sad

LipSyncForYourLife · 09/10/2019 19:52

From a ling time ago but I still remember it...

“Did you hear? The space shuttle Challenger exploded on take-off!

No! Where was it going?

😂

SerafinaPekkalasbroomstick · 09/10/2019 19:54

Night bus passing a busy run of late night kebab shops etc
Pissed man: I'm getting off and getting a kebab
Less pissed girlfriend: you will have a yoghurt!

American tourists on a bus in Edinburgh pondering why on earth the castle was built on that rock as it would have been easier to build it elsewhere.

My first visit to a pharmacy in a new area i moved to after i graduated involved an addict shouting about how he needed his methadone. I am from a rather uneventful historic village and was suitably shocked. My Dr surgery at the time also had a sign up saying they couldn't take any more methadone patients.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 09/10/2019 20:05

On the bus to the docs at midday. Two women in front of me having a conversation
W1- did you see her this morning?
W2- fucking hell yes. She is such a cunt.
W1- I know. Always fucking smiling. I’d like to wipe that smile off her face.
W2- it’s why the kids seem to like her, you know.... smiley.
W1- and the fucking dads.
W2- that’s what makes her such a cunt. She’s so fucking nice.
W1- did she ask you to help with the trip?
W2- yeh, I suppose I will, but it’s a liberty. It’s her fucking job to look after our kids. Not ours.

Yes. I had both of their children in my class. I was the fucking smiley cunt. Grin
I smiled quite broadly when they got off at my doctors surgery and had to sit opposite me in the waiting room.
I smiled even more when I told them that I wouldn’t be needing their help on the trip after all.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/10/2019 20:08

Youn man I passed, speaking to a friend: "I miss Will. We used to see each other on Fridays and talk about our love bites."

Wizzbangpop · 09/10/2019 20:09

was on a train as a fairly naive student and the guy behind was talking in the phone about how he'd just been released from prison. And how he was looking forward to being in a house and stuff quite moving looking back On it .

Was on the DLR with my ex. We had either just broken up or about to. Anyway there was this couple having an absolute hummdinger of an argument. Everyone was trying not to eavesdrops but couldn't help it. Lots of swearing and she hit him and all sorts. But I remember it thinking we are having our issues yet manage to keep it behind closed doors.

On another train and the people surrounding us were basically chatting about The night before and how good the drugs had been.

SimonJT · 09/10/2019 20:12

I got the bus home tonight, a London bus is a great place to hear weird things.

Tonight was disappointing but a few weeks ago a woman was on her phone and crying, her husband had found out she was cheating and she was worried he wouldn’t pay for her planned boob job!

NinaMarieP · 09/10/2019 20:13

I work in a library.

A young man came in and went to use a computer. His girlfriend followed and began asking 'did you speak to the staff? Did you show them your card?'

And then at the top of her voice oh my god do you even know how to use a library???

The best part is the computers are self service and a minute later she was saying I suppose you know more about it than I do then...

Several years ago on a train, an American woman (who'd thought it was OK to stand on my seat to access the overhead storage before I'd sat down)

Oh my god the ocean!! (We were on the East Coast line... not an ocean and not that surprising surely?)

And later

Oh I need to go potty.

I've forgotten the rest but everything was said extremely loudly.

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