Prepared to be told I am being unreasonable but I'm looking for some impartial advice on this situation.
Me and my ex have a DD who is 6 together and get on fairly okay for the most part but we do have our moments.
For DD's birthday and for christmas we go shopping for her gifts together and he comes to the house to watch her open them, everything is pretty amicable and he is a good dad.
He has been with his partner for over a year now, at first I found it very difficult especially as I knew of his partner before he got with her. She used to live with my best friend when they worked abroad together and I've heard not very good things about her and I was told these things before she got with my ex so of course I did make judgements based on the information I was given.
Anyway I got over all that, she spends quite a bit of time with my DD and she really likes her. All good. However, I haven't met her and I really at this point don't have a desire to. They've only been together a year this month, they don't live together and aren't married so I just don't see the need to meet her at the moment.
My ex has asked to half in for a swimming party for DD's birthday next month. I agreed. On the phone with ex this morning he mentioned that his partner will be there in the pool with the kids whilst I have to stay out of pool to greet parents and children. I told ex that I didn't feel comfortable with his partner being there and could she step back and they could do something desperately with DD. My ex wasn't happy about this and said he'd think about it. But I had better get used to her being around. The thing that upsets me is he didn't even ask if this would be alright for me. I already struggle with anxiety and meeting parents etc makes me nervous so would prefer to not have to meet his girlfriend on top of that.
So my question is, would I be unreasonable that if my ex insists his partner needs to be there, that I say that's fine but I'm not paying half. I'll step back and let this be there party for her and I will do something separate with my family and my DD?
I feel guilty as it would be nice if I could be there but at this point I just don't feel ready to meet her.
Thanks in advance
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AIBU?
To not want my exes partner at my child's birthday party?
252 replies
wherewego · 23/09/2019 13:53
OP posts:
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