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AIBU to take away the ham sandwich?

(200 Posts)
Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:29:37

My 8yo has been in a pissy mood all morning (most his life)
And he asked for something to eat so I made him a ham sandwich.
So he moaned why was it ham? I don't want ham. I said tough that's what it is, some people don't even have food so stop whining.
Carried on moaning.
Then started moaning, oh fine I'll have to FORCE MYSELF to eat it then!!!
So I took it off him and ate it myself.

And now he's having a wobbler that he's going to starve and it's all my fault.

Please tell me I wasn't being unreasonable and he's being a brat.

Confusedbeetle Sun 22-Sep-19 10:30:58

I think at his age this is agood lesson for him to learn

Soubriquet Sun 22-Sep-19 10:32:22

Well surely he should have had the choice as to what was in his sandwhich in the first place?

Slappadabass Sun 22-Sep-19 10:34:31

Yabu, Just because he's 8 doesnt mean he can't choose what sandwich he would like, next time ask him which sandwich he would like from what ingredients you have I'm the house instead of just making it, better yet, let him make it himself.
The people are starving comment is ridiculous, him not eating a ham sandwich isn't going to change the fact children are starving elsewhere.

SleepingIsOverrated Sun 22-Sep-19 10:34:51

OP, I'd be telling to make his own food outside of lunchtimes from now on. He's 8, he can manage to make a sandwich with whatever filling he desires grin

Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:36:52

If he wanted something specific he should have been specific. He just said 'something to eat'
I mean he could get food himself but, I was being nice and he's watching a movie.
He likes ham sandwiches as far as I know. It's ham not raw chicken. He was being ungrateful in my opinion. Is 8yo chronic moaning a real thing or just mine?

Thetiss Sun 22-Sep-19 10:37:48

I think now’s a good time for him to learn to make sandwiches

SimonJT Sun 22-Sep-19 10:38:00

He’s 8, if he wants a sandwich he should be making it himself and clearing up any mess he makes.

My four year old is having a wobbler because someone ate all the oreos (he ate them all on friday), he claimed I’m horrible as he is also starving. I have requested he starves quietly and now I’m ignoring him untol he acts like less of an entitled brat.

Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:38:45

The people starving comment is to put into perspective, some people don't have food and he does so why is he moaning about having perfectly fine food.

Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:39:47

SimonJT 😂😂😂

Herocomplex Sun 22-Sep-19 10:40:46

It’s really tempting when your kids are in challenging moods to match them with one of your own.

RandomMess Sun 22-Sep-19 10:41:11

I used to put the stuff out on the dining table and mine made their own sandwiches at that age. Life skills need to be practiced wink

Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:42:14

Hehe I know 😅 frustrating though. I need a third coffee.
And now he wants a ham sandwich, fancy that.

Slappadabass Sun 22-Sep-19 10:43:10

If he's wasn't specific then you should have asked him, or told him to have a look and make his own.
I wonder where he gets his pissy mood from hmm

Stravapalava Sun 22-Sep-19 10:45:51

If my DC ask for "something to eat" I'll say, sure do you want toast or banana (for example) or ask them what they fancy. I won't just get them a random thing. No wonder he didn't want it. I do agree the 8 yea old dramatics if they don't like / fancy something are very annoying though!

AnOojamaflip Sun 22-Sep-19 10:47:20

I think the need to reset the entire relationship dynamic. No one sounds happy.

He had no choice as to what you made for him to eat. He reacted to this, he reacted badly (but it will be a learned behaviour). You reacted badly to this (was a bit over the top. (Other people having no food, his ending up with nothing.) Maybe fine if you'd given him the choice - "I'll eat it if you dont want it; do you want it?"

When he whines inform him it's wrong and tell him how to behave/react. (Yes whining is annoying, it'll take patience on your part.)

It'd be better to offer choice (even if it's only between two things). Or show him how to make him own sandwich.

Children are usually 'pissy' because they lack control or choice.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 22-Sep-19 10:47:39

Ones the time to employ this conversation.

"Mum I'm starving"

"Nice to to meet you starving, I'm mum. And you know where the kitchen is"


MustardScreams Sun 22-Sep-19 10:47:51

I’m sorry but the wanting a ham sandwich now has made me really laugh! Why ARE kids so utterly ridiculous?!

youarenotkiddingme Sun 22-Sep-19 10:48:30

Nows not ones 🤦‍♀️

KUGA Sun 22-Sep-19 10:49:10

You did the right thing I have done the same.
Told DC`s that this isn`t a restaurant/café you eat what your given or make your own and clean up afterwards.
Lesson learned and all okay.

Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:51:18

Hahaha. Exactly! They ARE ridiculous.
I'm totally calling him 'Starving' not his actual name now 😅

Singlebutmarried Sun 22-Sep-19 10:57:24

We get that with an also 8yo. She can now make wraps, sandwiches. If she wants cheese she can grate it, but she’s allowed to chop cucumber/tomatoes/peppers.

Zaphodsotherhead Sun 22-Sep-19 10:57:31

I am a bit agog at all the 'let him choose his own filling'. Unless you gave him something he really hated (doesn't sound like you did), why wouldn't he eat it? Other than being in a strop?

I'm an old gimmer and throwback to days when we had one thing in the entire house you could put in a sandwich, not loads of 'choose your own filling' options. It would be cheese and lump it!

Sounds like he's just in a mood. I'd have eaten the sandwich too! Why shouldn't kids learn that mums can have utterly had enough sometimes - we don't always have to be Mary Fucking Poppins.

Herocomplex Sun 22-Sep-19 10:57:35

Mocking him won’t help. Imagine if you asked for something, were made to feel powerless and then laughed at.

MustardScreams Sun 22-Sep-19 10:59:29

It’s a ham sandwich @Herocomplex, op hasn’t beaten the poor kid and refused to feed him. Can we try and keep the melodramatics to a minimum on a lovely Sunday?

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