To think something must have happened

[MrsDragonLady]

Early last year, DH gave up his job to be a stay at home dad, so that I could change my career. The job I had taken was crap hours and pay, but it was entry into a field that didn’t come up very often.

Now, 18 months on, I’ve secured a better job and the hours mean he will be able to go back to work too, something which he had always planned on doing.

He applied back to the company he had left, but on a different department. He got rejected before interview. So he applied again back onto the department he had left. He had 9 years experience and had been put forward by a former colleague that was still in the department. The manager wasnt the same one as when he left. He was basically offered the job at interview, but got told he would have to wait for the official email from head office to confirm. A week later he got a “after much deliberation, we have decided not to offer you the job” email! He contacted for feedback and got told he wasn’t the right fit for the position, but they would consider him for future roles.

Fast forward two months, he’s applied for 8 more jobs at that company and been rejected for them all.

He’s now moved onto applying at different companies and having the same issue with every single one. He’s getting an interview, being provisionally offered the job, then after being passed on to head office he gets a rejection email around a week later.

Could it just be a massive coincidence, or am I right in thinking that something must have happened for him to keep being rejected like this. He’s applied for well over 30 jobs now in various postions, companies and for different hours and not been considered for any of them!

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

Does DH have old colleagues or anyone he knows in his area who can sound people out? I'm no expert but it sounds as if there's some rumour about him. Sorry if that's a bit obvious.

[Elliebellbell]

Is he using a specific person for a reference rather than a generic hr one?

[ShinyMe]

Are you absolutely certain he left work voluntarily? He couldn't have been dismissed for misconduct, or jumped before he was pushed, but not felt able to tell you?

[LittleLongDog]

That is bizarre. What does he think is going on?

[Elliebellbell]

Shiny might have a point. Was he possibly under Disciplinary Investigation at the time he left? It stays on your record whether it was resolved or not.

[Tallgreenbottle]

Most companies wont let you back for 12months. They also wont let you apply to positions more than once every 12months.

[Bookworm4]

Is his previous employer giving him a bad reference? He can query this.

[HeadintheiClouds]

Why is he so anxious to go back to the same company? If he knew there was a time limit to his time as a sahd; why didn’t he just negotiate a fixed period of leave rather than jack it in completely for what turns out to be a matter of months?
He’s obviously left under some sort of cloud, whether he’s fully aware of the cause or not.

[EssentialHummus]

It is easier to find a job if you are in a job, so his time as a SAHD may be working against him. Illegal but very widespread ime.

[Elliebellbell]

It's possible they've found out something after he left that he's not aware of, for example a lot of unfinished jobs shoved in a filing cabinet and he's been a convenient fall guy.

Someone tried to do that to me in the NHS but I whistled loud and they got suspended instead.

[Loveislandaddict]

I think it’s a tough market out there. Does his application need tweaking, his cv updating etc?

Maybe they think he as unemployed rather than a SAHD? It’s always getting a new job when you are working.

Can he do his role voluntary so he gets his foot in the door again? Or do some consulting? Or look for a short term job so he has recent experience on his cd?

[Jon65]

Sounds as if the references might be off.

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

Sounds like there’s something coming up, either officially or unofficially, in his background checks or references. It’s pretty unusual to be offered a position at interview and then have it rescinded, so for that to happen twice something must be up.. Unless he’s lying to you about how the interviews went..?

[Patroclus]

Has he got social media locked down? or maybe a black mark on him?

[BlueMerchant]

Maybe they worry that his home life is going to infringe on his work?
I'd also be wondering whether it's likely he could have left not having followed the proper procedure/ notice period or if he was dismissed.Sorry.

[Mammyloveswine]

What type of role is it? Does it require a DBS check? Sorry OP just when being offered a job it's usually on the proviso that dbs and references check out.

What does your husband think?

[HeadintheiClouds]

I din’t think he’s being completely honest as to how the interviews are going. It’s really quite unusual to be offered the job at interview, provisionally or otherwise.
Maybe in a head hunting scenario, but that’s not what’s happening in his case. Surely he’s not the only applicant?
For this to happen multiple times is hard to believe, frankly.

[Hassled]

Job offers are contingent on references. Whoever he's currently using as a referee, he needs to change that. Unless it's a weird scenario involving a referee with a specific grudge, it does sound like something happened in the previous employment you don't know about.

[butterflywings37]

He's been out of work for a period of time. It will raise questions- that is the risk of being a sahp

[donquixotedelamancha]

Are you absolutely certain he left work voluntarily? He couldn't have been dismissed for misconduct, or jumped before he was pushed, but not felt able to tell you?

I think if that were so, he would not have been offered the interview. My alternative suggestion would be sexism.

My boss looks at me like I am mad when I talk about wanting to get home to see the kids or decline to do something extra due to being the only childcare. He has no issue when women say or do this.

In some industries there would still be many people with the ridiculous view that your DH's commitment to his children meant less commitment to work (as women find, to their cost, every day).

[simplekindoflife]

References? DBS check? Google search? Mistake on CV? Someone out to get him?

It does sound very strange. He needs to find out what it is. Is there anyone who could find out for him?

[topcat2014]

We never 're-employ' as company policy - a lot of companies do this AFAIK.

[CatteStreet]

'I din’t think he’s being completely honest as to how the interviews are going. It’s really quite unusual to be offered the job at interview, provisionally or otherwise.
Maybe in a head hunting scenario, but that’s not what’s happening in his case. Surely he’s not the only applicant?
For this to happen multiple times is hard to believe, frankly'

This. I've had a couple of interviews where it was very clear they had essentially picked me, but I wasn't actually offered the job until after the interview.

Could it be he's misinterpreting signals? Construing questions about his salary expectations or something as 'virtually having been offered the job'?

[INeedAFlerken]

He needs to ask for copies of everythign his old company holds on him, including references. Something is clearly going on. GDPR allows this.

[OhtheHillsareAlive]

There's a dodgy reference somewhere ...

Or maybe a prejudice against men who do the SAHP thing?