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To be a scruncher

(103 Posts)
cheesenpickles Sat 30-Mar-19 08:55:53

So, DH came home this week with a tale about how a colleague of his had to call out a plumber for a massive blockage. Allegedly, the plumber said it was because someone (in this case, colleagues wife) had scrunched loo roll and it had caused the blockage.

Dh then said we must always fold rather than scrunch our loo roll. I then said I am a scruncher and he gave me a look as if I were drowning kittens. Then he started asking me my average sheet usage at which point I decided that the conversation was heading south and told him to not be so daft.

Surely scrunching doesn't block drains? I would say I'm less scruncher tbh and more epically lazy folder.

Thoughts?

Bluelonerose Mon 01-Apr-19 10:26:30

I've never really thought about it but I think I'm a wiper not a scruncher.

How do people stand up to wipe though? Surely the only time you stand up to wipe is if its ring of fire time confused
Otherwise your not really clean?

tisonlymeagain Mon 01-Apr-19 10:28:51

Scruncher here.

ILoveMaxiBondi Mon 01-Apr-19 10:29:42

I've seen him do it 🙈

Lucky you! grin

StormcloakNord Mon 01-Apr-19 10:30:27

My DH is neither.

He does the absolute weirdest thing and takes a strip of loo paper, and instead of either folding or scrunching like a normal person, he tears off one single square bit by bit and wipes his bum with one single square.

Its ludicrous and the first time I saw him do it I stared open jawed for a solid minute.

Damntheman Mon 01-Apr-19 10:34:03

A single square! Argh! LTB :p

Seriously though, if you stand to wipe your bottom cheeks will be pressed together and you won't get a good wipe.

StormcloakNord Mon 01-Apr-19 10:37:33

@Damntheman I've thought about it. I don't understand how he doesn't get poopy fingers - we don't even buy that expensive loo roll just bog standard ASDA own brand!!

Eliza9917 Mon 01-Apr-19 10:38:49

Use a baby wipe and get a bin with a lid.

pansydansy Mon 01-Apr-19 10:40:50

I blame mil for him being a scruncher. That's what kids do.

I do think folders are more women.

FuriousCheekyFucker Mon 01-Apr-19 10:43:12

@Eliza9917

Use a baby wipe and get a bin with a lid.

You're kidding right? You have a bin filled with shit encrusted wetwipes in your house? You've got to be joking.

cheesenpickles Mon 01-Apr-19 10:43:51

Surely if you stand to wipe your clenched and don't get in all the areas that need attention?

My dad is very old and said they used to use newspaper as a kid with the SHARED outside toilet. Do you think they flushed it or just binned it? You'd have to fold newspaper as it would be so pointy otherwise.

Eliza9917 Mon 01-Apr-19 10:49:45

No, I haven't.

I've recently switched to white andrex as tesco coconut or lidl toilet paper irritated me. I'm not sure which but it was a fucking nightmare. I ended up with fucking micro cuts and everything.

Eliza9917 Mon 01-Apr-19 10:51:35

You're kidding right? You have a bin filled with shit encrusted wetwipes in your house? You've got to be joking.

But actually, what harm would that do? If you have a lined bin and put dirty wet wipes in it and put the lid on, what is so disgusting about that? We all shit. What would you do if you were out and there was no where to put a nappy/wipes? You'd put them in your bag. Whats the difference?

GirlcalledJack Mon 01-Apr-19 11:03:00

But surely folded paper doesn’t give you the ‘roughness’ to clean properly? blush

For example on your kitchen table a smooth antibacterial wipe pushes dirt and a scrunched up or rougher wipe picks dirt up better and means you can scrub more?

Also scrunching uses less paper!

BarbaraofSevillle Mon 01-Apr-19 11:03:56

You have a bin filled with shit encrusted wetwipes in your house? You've got to be joking

Don't ever go to Greece or the Canaries on holiday then. In both areas you can't put paper down many toilets as the plumbing can't take it so it's the norm to put it in a bin instead.

You don't even get a hose like you do in Egypt, where you wash you bum with water from the hose and then use paper to dry it. Again the paper goes in the bin not down the toilet.

StormcloakNord Mon 01-Apr-19 11:04:05

@Eliza9917 each to their own but that gives me shivers. I have some pretty nasty shits and the thought of all that poop on a wet wipe just sitting in a bin next to the toilet... boak

FuriousCheekyFucker Mon 01-Apr-19 11:06:10

@Eliza9917

I think the fact that I live in a first world country in 2019 and have a perfectly functional and workable flushing water toilet in my house means I don't need to use a bin. They were invented for hygiene reasons, to remove faeces and urine from the immediate living area to prevent infection and disease.

If I were caught short I would of course take other steps to minimise risk of infection and disease (like you say, bag it up until I could dispose of it), however I wouldn't deliberately shortcut these by having a bin in my house.

FuriousCheekyFucker Mon 01-Apr-19 11:09:20

@barbaraofseville

I've lived in Africa for two years, a year in Oman and a year in Afghanistan, been on multiple foreign trips including Greece and the Canaries, and am well aware of the relative standards of plumbing in the world. That doesn't mean we should compromise on standards if we have facilities available? By your argument, you could say "well, in India, they shit in the street, so that's fine too".

I think not.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Mon 01-Apr-19 11:12:39

Scrunch for the front, fold for the back.

honeylane Mon 01-Apr-19 11:12:51

Hahahaha that is brilliant. Apparently it is cleaner to fold

ZippyBungleandGeorge Mon 01-Apr-19 11:17:25

I kind of wind the paper around my hand, tear it off, then pull my hand out of the middle and use the flattened wound paper , is this different to folding?

cheesenpickles Mon 01-Apr-19 11:21:55

@ZippyBungleandGeorge I bet if you could correlate loo roll habits to personality traits you would be considered an artistic soul. grin

zinrepus Mon 01-Apr-19 11:31:10

@ZippyBungleandGeorge Having read this whole discussion too, I'm pleased to realise there are other rollers out there! I've thought it's closer to folding than scrunching, but you can also choose to scrunch the paper if needed...

BeanTownNancy Mon 01-Apr-19 11:34:56

@ZippyBungleandGeorge - this is what I do. And I wipe the front, then fold in half and wipe the back.

Apparently more men than women stand to wipe. All I can think of is the cheeks squishing together - how would you ever get right up in there to clean properly?!

BlackeyedGruesome Mon 01-Apr-19 11:36:55

A neighbour once tried to flush a chicken carcass. Their underneath neighbours had shit pouring out their toilets and through their ceilings.

eddiemairswife Mon 01-Apr-19 11:38:26

At least we have soft toilet paper nowadays. I can remember when only the hard stuff (Izal or Bronco) was available.

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