To be a scruncher

[cheesenpickles]

So, DH came home this week with a tale about how a colleague of his had to call out a plumber for a massive blockage. Allegedly, the plumber said it was because someone (in this case, colleagues wife) had scrunched loo roll and it had caused the blockage.

Dh then said we must always fold rather than scrunch our loo roll. I then said I am a scruncher and he gave me a look as if I were drowning kittens. Then he started asking me my average sheet usage at which point I decided that the conversation was heading south and told him to not be so daft.

Surely scrunching doesn't block drains? I would say I'm less scruncher tbh and more epically lazy folder.

Thoughts?

[Eliza9917]

shiveringtimber Mon 01-Apr-19 17:49:36
I'm a folder and I use a wet wipe after a poo to make sure my bum's clean. The wipes are specifically designed for toilets, ie they disintegrate quickly.

No, they don’t ‘disintegrate quickly’. They really, really don’t. They may disintegrate MORE quickly, but disintegrating in 100 years instead of 200 years (or whatever) does NOT mean flushing them is ok. It’s really really not.

I just came here to say the same. Please don't put the moist toilet tissue down the toilet.

[IncrediblySadToo]

Eliza9917. I think I get you. I'd call that sticking your arse out instead of tilting hips.

I have a feeling no matter what I’d said, someone would have questioned it 🤣

I bet the poo troll is having a field day with this thread

🤣😂 let him crack on...

Grim
Bastard.

LeatherFace. Thanks IncrediblySad I’m going to give it a go. I make every effort to be eco in my life, and the volume of TP I use is holding me back

Ummm. Errr. Best wishes?!
🤣


I grudge rollers the amount of paper they use, it seems to be double what a folder (like myself) needs

You can begrudge me all you like, but it doesn’t make ANY sense to me. I want a certain amount of paper between my hand and poo, whether I roll it around my hand or fold it, makes absolutely no difference to the quantity I’d use 🤷🏻‍♀️

I use a wet wipe after a poo to make sure my bum's clean. The wipes are specifically designed for toilets, ie they disintegrate quickly

No, they don’t ‘disintegrate quickly’. They really, really don’t. They may disintegrate MORE quickly, but disintegrating in 100 years instead of 200 years (or whatever) does NOT mean flushing them is ok. It’s really really not.

[DontCallMeCharlotte]

But we still have similar ... isn't that what the bog brush is for??

Yes but we don't use them on our arses! Er, do we?

Anyway. I dared to ask and it transpires DH is a folder and it turns out A STANDER-UPPER! Something about getting more purchase on it

I feel slightly differently towards him now...

I'm a sitter and a roller.

[user1480880826]

I didn’t know folding toilet roll was a thing. Surely we scrunch it because it creates a much larger surface area and so absorbs more? It also makes it thinker so reduces the chance of getting dirty hands.

It all turns to mush once it’s in the toilet anyway.

Plus, who has time to fold toilet roll?!

[HappenstanceMarmite]

Wet clean the starfish is possibly the greatest phrase I've ever seen btw

You’re welcome OP 😁

I can only speak for myself but if I’m home (and I have time) I will let it air dry. If in a rush then yes, I will dab TP on the now-moist starfish.

Meant to add on initial post that I do not flush the discarded wipe. It goes into a lined, lidded bin.

[BarbaraofSevillle]

I spent a week on a boat earlier this year and the done thing was to wash your bum using a high pressure hose and then dry using paper which then went in a lidded bin that was emptied daily. I was apprehensive about this process and the results the first time weren't pretty but I got used to it and by the end of the week I quite liked the wet washing method.

[shiveringtimber]

I'm a folder and I use a wet wipe after a poo to make sure my bum's clean. The wipes are specifically designed for toilets, ie they disintegrate quickly.

[cheesenpickles]

So what's the optimum amount of sheetage then. I usually opt for 3, 4 if it's payday and feeling flush (ho ho!)

Obviously won't me telling dh because he thinks two sheets is enough. We have very different backgrounds.

Also, all the baby wipe people(!) Do you then go for dry sheet of paper to dry off afterwards? I'd hate that damp clammy feeling afterwards.

Wet clean the starfish is possibly the greatest phrase I've ever seen btw.

[DustyMaiden]

My DMIL would fold, wipe, tear off the top sheet, wipe, tear off the top sheet and so on, very economical.

The joys of being a carer.

[PrettyAmazingGrace]

I can't wait for daytime TV to get hold of this thread.

[LakieLady]

Mcladdy I’m with you! Fold- wipe- fold again- wipe. You use less toilet roll that way.

YThat's what I do! We folders won't be getting through 16 rolls a week for two people, unlike the OP on another thread today.

[HappenstanceMarmite]

Folding sit-downer here and TP used throughout process (poocess?). However...finished off with a baby wipe following the final (no-more-visible-poo) TP. Would never leave without wet cleaning the starfish

[LakieLady]

Apparently more men than women stand to wipe. All I can think of is the cheeks squishing together - how would you ever get right up in there to clean properly?!


This may explain why men get skiddies in their pants - they stand up to wipe and don't get their arses clean.

[Fluffyears]

I’m a folder (my mum told me off for scrunching when I was little as it misses bits) i’m also a sitter. DH is a scrunched, and a stander and my bum is definitely cleaner. I don’t have skids, he does!

[Crabbyandproudofit]

I grudge rollers the amount of paper they use, it seems to be double what a folder (like myself) needs. Can't imagine scrunching unless you have a massive handful of paper?

[Joebloggswazere]

I’m a roller and a folder but never ever a scruncher, that shit’s just wrong. How can you wipe properly with a handful of scrunched paper?

[LeatherFace]

Thanks IncrediblySad I’m going to give it a go.

I make every effort to be eco in my life, and the volume of TP I use is holding me back...

[Eliza9917]

Are you talking backward/forward in relation to where your hand is?

No ya nutter. In relation to the way I face. Forwards 🤣. I face forwards, I tip my hips forwards.

I think I get you. I'd call that sticking your arse out instead of tilting hips.

I bet the poo troll is having a field day with this thread.

[SmarmyMrMime]

Fold for consistency of paper thickness and avoidence of unpleasant surprises.

Scrunch is redundant since the gradual phasing out of that awful tracing paper stuff. I don't think my great grandma had nerve endings near her back passage. This may or may not be connected to her lamenting (shortly before the milennium) that her catalogue had ceased to sell her favoured knee length bloomers.

Stand and squat for maximum opening of bum cheeks

I suspect folding or scrunching are pretty irrelevant with regards to toilet blockages.
If the toilet roll is dwindling rapidly, an interim flush is advisable.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

The Romans used a sponge on a stick

But we still have similar ... isn't that what the bog brush is for??

[ForalltheSaints]

The MN poster with the man who stinks out the office toilet should be the judge of the reasonableness of this.

[Damntheman]

This thread is life! I can't stop giggling at my desk

[IncrediblySadToo]

Are you talking backward/forward in relation to where your hand is?

No ya nutter. In relation to the way I face. Forwards 🤣. I face forwards, I tip my hips forwards.

[Eliza9917]

WTF

[Chuggachugga]

Mcladdy I’m with you! Fold- wipe- fold again- wipe. You use less toilet roll that way. Also, we haven’t yet made any conclusions about the nefarious “messy” poop. Personally, this is where the toilet wipes are a godsend. I wipe away as much mank as I can, turn on the hot tap and get the wipe as hot as I can handle and then scold wipe that bitch. (I dunno... just feel cleaner that way!) Then a little more loo roll for a pat n dry session and I’m done. If it’s really bad and you don’t want a dreaded case of the skids, then scrunch a wipe and twist it all the way up your bum (wince!) and pull out. I guarantee you’ll be smelling daisy fresh down there!!! 😂😂😂