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To feel offended by co-worker's message

(104 Posts)
AnnieNonaMouse Sat 16-Mar-19 13:09:39

I had my last day at work this week before starting maternity leave for dc2. My line manager organised a mini leaving do for me and I received some lovely gifts and a card with messages from all of my co-workers. One of the messages from a more junior member of my team said 'congratulations on having a baby and passing your workload onto me'. Am I right to feel a little offended by this? I know it may have been tongue in cheek but it wasn't followed by anything and it isn't the first time she's made remarks (I've been part-time since having ds and she often comes out with 'enjoy your day off' etc).

I appreciate that she feels as though her workload will increase in my absence, however we have just hired another junior who will also be sharing the workload. I just can't help feeling that it's a disservice to women to make such remarks (ironically she is part of the company's equality committee).

MrsJayy Sat 16-Mar-19 13:13:38

She sounds a delight have you said anything about her to your line manager I would being a sarky moo just makes her look bitter.

shinyNewPound Sat 16-Mar-19 13:14:57

Don't give it any more head space. Also at my work, two of the most hideous bullies and arsehole managers are heading up our anti bullying and staff welfare groups...

TokenGinger Sat 16-Mar-19 20:19:21

It just sounds like she has a sense of humour that doesn't click with yours. That's the kind of thing I'd say, but only to somebody I'm close enough to for them to know it's a joke.

I don't think she means any harm by it. I can't believe anybody would be so stupid to write something like that if she meant it seriously.

Echobelly Sat 16-Mar-19 20:23:45

I'm pretty sure it was intended as a joke, I understand feeling sensitive around now but I'm pretty certain it was ill-judged humour and nothing more.

Worlds0kayestmum Sat 16-Mar-19 20:25:00

I had a similar message in my card when I left work on maternity leave, I just laughed and went back to cuddling my baby (he arrived unexpectedly and I hadn't started maternity leave so I left abruptly and the card arrived in the post). Don't give it anymore thought

HomeMadeMadness Sat 16-Mar-19 20:25:11

Even as a joke it isn't the time or place to make it (unless you're very close and you know the recipient will see the funny side). She sounds annoying and bitter.

PurpleDaisies Sat 16-Mar-19 20:26:27

I’d read it as a joke and not to let it bother you.

Oysterbabe Sat 16-Mar-19 20:26:47

I'd take that as a joke too.

Troels Sat 16-Mar-19 20:27:43

Sounds like she was trying to make a joke.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin Sat 16-Mar-19 20:28:05

I’d assume it was a joke as well. You’re off on maternity leave now and don’t need to see her so I wouldn’t even bother wasting more time thinking about it.

NChangeForNoReason Sat 16-Mar-19 20:33:39

My last day on Friday ... I had the exact same joke thrown at me in my card and to my face!

My response - about time you found out what real work is like!!

It was a joke - done worry about it, enjoy your time off smile

IncrediblySadToo Sat 16-Mar-19 20:34:46

I had my last day at work this week

From one ‘Annie’ to what you wrote ^ and ask yourself why you’re giving this head space. It doesn’t matter even a tiny bit what one junior staff member thinks!!

You’re about to have a baby & some lovely maternity leave...she might not even still be there when you go back and if she is, deal with it then. She might have a sense of humour that’s a bit misplaced or she might be a little upstart who needs putting in her place...but that’s all MONTHS away IF she’s even still there.

IAmAPersonToo Sat 16-Mar-19 20:36:55

Just give her a massive grin and tell her you'll think of her when you're enjoying your X months off!

Emilydickensonsdogs Sat 16-Mar-19 20:39:16

I would think it just a joke too. Maybe a little tactless but not terrible.

deste Sat 16-Mar-19 20:49:33

She probably thinks it was funny. Enjoy your maternity leave and don’t give it a second thought.

HaventGotAllDay Sat 16-Mar-19 20:52:35

It's a joke. It's what people put in leaving cards.
And if you're part time, then d'oh, you have days off. So, shock horror, people might say "have a nice day off"
You sound like you take offence very quickly.

swindy Sat 16-Mar-19 20:56:17

Haha, I did laugh. It's a joke

EmmaC78 Sat 16-Mar-19 20:58:13

What else would people say except enjoy your day off?! You are part time so have a day off work.

Frenchmontana Sat 16-Mar-19 20:58:43

I would have laughed.

comfysocks8516 Sat 16-Mar-19 21:00:04

I’d say a joke too

koality Sat 16-Mar-19 21:02:44

She was joking, and 'enjoy your day off' is a very normal thing to say hmm

SummerHouse Sat 16-Mar-19 21:03:00

I would find this unnecessary and bitchy and reading the other comments I am asking myself why. I am part time and get the "how was your holiday" comments when I come back after 2 days off which also annoy me.

I think to be totally honest it might be because I am a martyr and I feel a bit guilty.

So I agree with PPs that this is not worth a second thought but I also totally understand why you would take offense.

Foxmuffin Sat 16-Mar-19 21:14:31

Sounds like a joke. A joke in extremely poor taste but a joke nonetheless.

GarthFunkel Sat 16-Mar-19 21:17:46

Best message I ever saw in a maternity leaving card was written by a 50-something man - 'Great escape plan - will try to follow' grin

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