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Fiver parties

(126 Posts)
Ninjafox Mon 07-Jan-19 23:21:49

I've just been reading about fiver parties and wondered what other people think?

Part if me thinks, yeah I'd stick a fiver in a card rather than the mission to find a reasonably priced gift that I'm not sure birthday child wants. BUT the Brit in me is recoiling in horror at the idea of asking other parents to give my child cash in order to reimburse the big gift I'd bought my child.Thoughts?

Yura Wed 09-Jan-19 19:22:32

@Dieu why is is joyless? there is a party! if kids aren’t taught that birthday means tons of stuff, they don’t expect it and are very hapy wth a party and cake

TheBigBangRocks Wed 09-Jan-19 19:34:07

Why does buying a gift mean it will end up in landfill? Surely that's only for tat items etc. We tend to get lego and such like that can be passed on once outgrown.

Don't people ask for ideas from the parents to avoid duplicates etc.

I agree if the parents want a bike or scoote etc they should fund rather than expect others to provide I.

Dieu Wed 09-Jan-19 19:40:50

Because it's a child's birthday. It happens once a year. And it should mean lots of stuff!
The landfill argument seems bizarre to me.

Alanamackree Wed 09-Jan-19 19:43:21

SheisMammyof2 that’s how it’s generally worded where I am.
I think there is a world of difference between giving a child a fiver instead of a gift and giving the parents a fiver towards a big gift.

Yura Wed 09-Jan-19 19:53:56

which child needs 23 lots of lego,or whatever else ( 24 kids in my son’s class) plus presents from relatives? Things do not equal joy for everyone. Some people like stuff, others don’t. but labelling a birthday as joyless because there isn’t loads of stuff rather narrow minded!
And looking at friends (different school), most stuff goes into the bin within a month or so (broken, bits missing, ...)

Dieu Wed 09-Jan-19 19:57:07

But you can bet that it's the child who 'likes stuff'.
And I've never heard of a child receiving the same gifts from everyone.

Yura Wed 09-Jan-19 20:26:19

my oldest doesn’t like stuff. many kids get overwhelmed by mountains of presents. don’t pitty children who don’t like consumerism - kids are a reflection of their environment, at a young age mainly their parents, later school. if the parents and school set up “mountains of gifts “, that’s what they think is the norm. if the norm is few gifts, that’s what they are happy with. we are lucky school parents tend to agree on the “no stuff” values
(even if a kid gets lets say 6 lego sets, 4 art sets, 5 board games, 2 playmobile sets, 3 puzzles and 2 toy cars - no child needs that much stuff on top of all their other stuff)

MotherForkinShirtBalls Wed 09-Jan-19 20:52:47

In our school its a coin in a card for a whole class party which is great. Most people give €5 or the child's age amount but some years dd has got €1 or €2 in a card and enjoyed counting every contribution up equally. The idea of going to the toy shop and having her pick is pure delight for her, no matter what any individual gave. And there are always a couple of wrapped presents which she loves too.

OkPedro Thu 10-Jan-19 01:14:47

exfury we've only ever invited my dcs friends from school so that would usually mean 10 from a class of 30. I wouldn't expect my children to be invited to party of a child they've never played with! It's never been a problem. I certainly wouldn't invite 25 and leave 4 out

EmeraldShamrock Thu 10-Jan-19 01:32:09

I think it is a brilliant idea and would have loved to do last year.
We had a class party and some friends, cousins we got 32 presents all over 5 euro.
You would need a cheeky invite poem as a parent I would love it to catch on.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-Jan-19 01:38:59

It’s become the norm where I live- parents just put on the back of the invite, no gift expected, if you choose to please do not spend more than €5.

Stops the keeping up with the jones’ Attitude and makes life easier blush but having said that, for my kids’ close friends I’d always find out what they liked and put a bit more effort in. When you have several kids all in classes of 30 though, it’s a godsend.

Racecardriver Thu 10-Jan-19 01:48:57

I’d be horrified. How rude.

Bloominglovely Thu 10-Jan-19 09:10:06

Racecardriver If, like me, you spend £15-20 per present x 15 parties a year PER CHILD, you might get over the rudeness of somebody offering the alternative of giving £5!

I won’t be the first to suggest it in our school but I will welcome it if it happens.

I know many kids who do not attend any parties and it is sad to think the presents might be the reason.

EmeraldShamrock Thu 10-Jan-19 09:32:09

I think I will do it as no presents but if you must 5euro is plenty, start a trend here.
It gives the child the chance to get one great present.

arranbubonicplague Thu 10-Jan-19 11:21:08

I was talking to younger relatives about this and discovered that a variation on the £5 party is 50/50:

My youngest received a birthday party invite this winter requesting no presents. Instead, kids were asked to bring some money ($5 – $10 each) and the birthday boy used 1/2 to buy himself one LEGO toy as his gift from his friends, and then he used the other 1/2 to donate to a local shelter.

Think about it. A dozen kids at $5-$10 each is $60-$100. That’s an awesome $30 LEGO kit for the birthday kid and a nice bit of cash going to people who could really use it.

Genius, isn’t it? The kid gets ONE thing they really want, they get a crazy cake and ice cream day with their friends, AND they get to learn charity by helping out the community.

www.babble.com/parenting/gifts-about-giving-5050-birthday-parties/

Carnivaloftheanimals Thu 10-Jan-19 11:28:49

I don't like it. For me it's not really in the spirit of gift giving. It's all about maximising what you can do with the money the guests would spend on a present. Not a good thing to teach kids in my view.

EmeraldShamrock Thu 10-Jan-19 11:44:29

arranbubonicplague That is a great idea.

It's all about maximising what you can do with the money the guests would spend on a present

I have to disagree most DC bring a gift to a party, it is better for the environment, a lot less than individual presents, and by giving 1/2 to a charity is teaching DC the act of giving. It is better than piles of plastic and the inconvenience of shopping for a gift.

Hermano Thu 10-Jan-19 11:45:29

I posted about this recently, asking what parents would think of a tenner in a card rather than a present (post Xmas party so bday child just received a load of presents the week before) and the overwhelming majority told me money in a card was an awful idea and plastic / craft tat was the way to go

I wish it were more acceptable to give money, and for my own child I'd be very happy to receive a pound or two rather than anything bigger.

I think a mix of the two is also fine, so all the parents regifting / being canny in sales should feel free to still do that.

In these days of trying to reduce waste I do think money towards one big toy feels like the right option in general, baffled why so many others seem to disagree

oh4forkssake Thu 10-Jan-19 11:50:19

There are times where I've had to show up with a £2 box of sweets or regift something we have in the house.

Ditto - also I tend to bulk buy presents when I see them in a sale (my Mum did the same) so my DC then pick for their pal from the stash. A) it stops them wanting everything in the shop and b) it keeps the costs down. You may get a present from us that has an RRP of £15 but cost a fiver or less.

Much as I loathe the clutter, I loathe the idea of a ‘fiver party’ more.

Bloominglovely Thu 10-Jan-19 12:13:23

The problem with buying gifts in bulk is that presents are chosen from a bunch of random gifts without the recipient in mind. The whole point of gifts is to choose something you think the recipient would like.

Surely by the time you get towards the bottom of the pile you are giving gifts that the kids have possibly outgrown or have no interest in. You are giving whatever you have to hand for the sake of giving, surely it is better to give a few coins so the child can get something they actually like.

Many items bought in a sale are quite obviously sale items. Other parents are fully aware of this just as adults are.

We all lament the waste when we receive Xmas presents that are picked up throughout the year without the recipient being in mind. Just because we can’t ‘prove’ a gift is part of a three for two, it doesn’t mean we don’t know it.

I tend to give gift receipts with everything which may seem crude to same but it is better than receiving something that is unwanted.

oh4forkssake Thu 10-Jan-19 12:25:40

Well I don’t buy too many at once for a start. When I say bulk, I guess I mean 6 at a time? I keep in mind advancing ages so I have a range. Also, the DC look at the options and then very much pick what the recipients would like..... ‘Petunia would love that card making set Mummy. I know she doesn’t like Disney much so I won’t give her that doll.’

It’s worked well so far! I don’t buy tat for the sake of it....I wouldn’t buy anything I wouldn’t want the DC to have. Actually, that’s a lie. I have bought slime making kits and LOL themed presents. Those i’d Be happy not to have but I know other people’s children will like them! grin

Lydiaatthebarre Thu 10-Jan-19 12:50:13

I have no problem with someone putting a fiver in a card. Neither have I any issue with a few guests clubbing together to get one bigger present.

What I dislike is the request that everyone donate a fiver so the birthday child can put it towards a new bike or computer game or whatever.

It's dictating what people should give, and that's never right. Fine if someone contacts you and asks what your DS or DD would like, but otherwise it's not ok in my book.

I feel the same about cash demands for wedding presents.

kateandme Thu 10-Jan-19 19:44:20

fivers don't exist anymore

April2020mom Thu 10-Jan-19 22:33:47

Not sure what you are talking about?

lifetothefull Thu 10-Jan-19 22:49:10

I'm afraid in my case it really wouldn't cut down on plastic waste. DD with £50 to spend would result in a ton of plastic waste. 10 presents chosen by parents might actually include the odd book!

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