Fiver parties

[Ninjafox]

I've just been reading about fiver parties and wondered what other people think?

Part if me thinks, yeah I'd stick a fiver in a card rather than the mission to find a reasonably priced gift that I'm not sure birthday child wants. BUT the Brit in me is recoiling in horror at the idea of asking other parents to give my child cash in order to reimburse the big gift I'd bought my child.Thoughts?

I agree happy - but most kids get enough presents from their family and family friends rather than class parties to need 30 more!

And the parents can buy one present or lots of presents with the class money so the kids still gets presents

Some children get a lot of presents from family and friends, those that don’t might like to open birthday presents from children at school.
As my DCs got older, I found it harder to buy for their friends and would sometimes chuck a £10 in the card or an amazon voucher so the child gets to choose something but can save up for something bigger/more expensive. So I do a mix of money or present depending on if we’ve been shopping to find something suitable (well DD will not DS). The DC find it nice to get a combination of cash and presents to open and they are very excited to save up their money for something big.

I find most people ask for present ideas so I have a fairly standard reply prepared.. DC loves books so would appreciate an amazon voucher, or if there is something specific.. DC is saving towards a xx so a donation towards that would be fantastic.

or if it's my daughter and her small group of friends who we know very well... she prepares a list after discussing it with her friends and says.. Gabriella would like to buy me a pair of sliders, and I would like some dinosaur lego from Henry. Her friend's parents and I are very happy that the children come up with the ideas of things they really want themselves.

Forgive that all sounds very organised but I would dislike it and feel under huge pressure to search for a specific item (15 + times between my two children and ‘close’ friends! when frankly I have far more important things to do. For that to be successful, each party goer has to be given a specific gift request/suggestion or there will be duplicates. And what happens if the party goer agrees to the suggestion but their parents can’t find it or afford it. The birthday child is already expecting a specific gift and could be disappointed. I actually find even the idea of a pre arrangement of giving a foecific gift very distasteful.

I always RSVP by text to an invitation and ask 'is there anything the child would particularly like, or if they are saving up for something big I am happy to do cash or Amazon voucher'.

MrsIron that sounds very sensible and something I will do from now on. Why on earth didn’t I think of just doing that. Thank you! I just hope they don’t respond with ‘a bicycle’or something 😀

@happymum12345 but not 30! gufts from grandparents, uncle, parents are already easily 6-7, and then 29 random ones from a party....

And here we get confirmation that mumsnet is not all posh middle class people. FIVE pounds??? Five? In what universe is 5 pounds all that you give for a child's present?

It’s rude to ask because some people can’t afford a fiver so limits their ability to find alternatives such as using points or vouchers to buy gift or making something. A friend of mine would always knit something lovely for my dd when she was little and she still has the tiny knitted toys she made.
Plus it implies you have to give a gift.
I often give money personally but as a gift giver I think you retain the right to choose.

By sbout 9, thus was pretty much the norm amongst DS’s friends. Makes sense to me, especially with friends I don’t know so well, where we have no idea what books, toys, Lego kits etc that they have or not.

In what universe is 5 pounds all that you give for a child's present?

well, how much do YOU give? £5 to £10 is perfectly reasonable.

£20

sollyfromsurrey

£20

In my universe. Plenty of families in my area. I'd usually spend 10 euro, 15euro for a best friend so I would be very happy to get/give 5euro in a card.. If they have 20 guests coming. Then I am from a working class area and £20 would be excessive and expensive to lots of family for a birthday present.
Obviously it depends on the area and guests.

And here we get confirmation that mumsnet is not all posh middle class people. FIVE pounds?
To add, it is only posh middle class people who believe MN is all posh middle class people. Lots of threads show working class and poor people, yet this thread is the one that confirms it for you

PTA was pushing it in our school so I did it only said a maximum of £5, as opposed to 5 - said "no presents please, max £5 In a card per Parents Association". The norm would have been gift/£20/£20 voucher before that. That was for a younger child...think will just say no presents for the older child

I didn't see it as contributing to the parents present...just instead of e.g. 10 smaller presents, £50 to get something bigger/needed

It’s the done thing in my kids school. It’s great becuase the child gets to go to toy shop and pick something out. There is no pressure to do it, we got a mix of presents and fivers at our party earlier this year but it really takes the pressure off thinking of presents and it’s also less wasteful. I’d rather a child pickednone nice thing over 20 pieces of plastic tat

Rude unless it's an accepted thing in your circles, and I'd never ask, I'd die of mortification, but oh my god I wish this was a thing here. Less tat coming into the house. Less pressure on parents to buy plastic tat for the birthday child, usually more than a fiver in cost. Parents able to put money towards one or two really good presents or experiences they couldn't afford otherwise. Brilliant

We were introduced to this when we lived in Ireland. I think its a brilliant idea. It's effort free, cuts down on all the tat and takes the pressure off finding something decent without guests paying £20 (or whatever) per party. And the party child gets a reasonable wodge of money to spend on something they really want. Been trying to introduce this to our school now we're back in the UK with mixed success. It's birthday time again so I shall persevere!

A fiver?! I wish, the going rate is bloody £20 here, I do live in a very 'naice' area mind you.

I think it’s a good idea. Presents usually cost more and it does all add up. But I couldn’t ask for my on DS and I wouldn’t want a friend collecting on my behalf either.

I just read this great blog that talks about what fiver parties mean and how they are great for children and parents despite the controversy (blog.partify.co/fiver-parties-and-what-they-mean-for-the-future-of-gift-giving). It’s written by a free party-planning service called Partify. Hope this will help!

Our school suggests 5 euro in a card for all kids parties. Some people give more if they're a close friend but it in general it really takes away the burden of constant present buying (and receiving lots of tat). Local friends and family buy presents so they get both on the day And they get to buy a big present they really like e.g. a big Lego set