AIBU with my MOH?(209 Posts)
I'm getting married in a few months. My MOH is my best friend, and she just got engaged too - he didn't propose, they just sort of mutually agreed on it.
Obviously I'm delighted that my best mate has found the One, but I'm a bit pissed off that they had to do this now. We're in the middle of all my planning, with only a few months left to go (November 11th) tensions are high and plans are messing up. I need her help with all this, and I'm afraid that suddenly it's all going to turn into talk about HER wedding (which she's done before, at a wedding fair with me, while not even dating her fiance - instead of helping me, she wouldn't stop talking about her hypothetical wedding). I feel like I can't even run the seating chart past her ATM because I'll be taking away the spotlight from her recent engagement!!
It just feels like I'm not allowed do anything without her swooping in sometimes. She's forever doing stuff the minute I decide to and randomly tagging on to my interests and stuff. I've waited nearly TEN years to have this wedding, I had to finish college, get well after being very sick, survive my parents both passing, save thousands to afford the bloody thing, and a whole heap of other things. I need this. I need the fuss. I deserve my day, right? I've waited so damn long for this.
On the flipside, they're together maybe a year, and don't live together. As I said, there was no proposal so I imagine she probably instigated the whole thing. I do believe they love each other and I genuinely am happy, I just wish they'd waited a few months more. I'm happy to still have her in my bridal party, she is my best mate, I'm just a bit peed off about it all. Am I being a horrible bridezilla type?
I think people are missing the point that it is not her being engaged per se, it is the continual taking the spotlight off the bride ie "that colour napkin is ok, but at *my* wedding I'll be having this" etc etc continually. That would be very draining. She is there to help the bride (even though as MOH she really isn't meant to actually do anything) not do a running commentary on what HER wedding will be like, what HER place settings will be, etc. I think people are seeing this at face value that a bride is upset that someone else is engaged at the same time. Look a little deeper beneath the surface and you'll understand why the bride feels that way. I believe if we all knew the bride and friend irl, we would definitely agree with the bride and be sick of of MOH's antics.
Think the OP has disappeared after all the negative feedback...
And notice this is now Daily Mail 'News' today. Must be a slow day!
You should've put this in Relationships OP.
The wedding is a day, that's all. Your marriage, which is what you should be focussing on, will hopefully be much longer. We've been married 32 years now, and I can remember bits about my wedding day, but being with dh every day is far more important.
How was your wedding OP? (Eagerly awaits post event update!)
I don't think OP's going to return, MadameGerbil!
My MOH turned up on the day kept me supplied with cold champagne , looked lovely in her dress, took charge of the delightfully wilful flower girl, circulated and socialised, brought some surprise goody bags to the hen (I organised it), bought me a gorgeous set of silk PJs to wear while I was having hair and make up done and indulged me in some pre wedding chat about flowers etc. She was fabulous. It's not a full time job, you're being a bridezilla.
Very bridezilla. Many people get married in the same year. Shes unlikely to be trying to steal your thunder
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