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AIBU?

To the OW she should join the queue

129 replies

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:30

Ex left me after 4 years together...had suspicions there was OW and I was proven painfully right....I went through his phone records and noticed there were a few recurring numbers...one is the OW but the others I didn’t recognise so I plugged them into my contacts and checked whatsapp - 2 women who I didn’t recognise so I messaged them one night having had too much gin and they admitted they had been sleeping with my ex from Dec - present and had met on bumble...they are not aware of the OW and I suspect the OW isn’t aware of them. I despise the OW nearly as much as my ex and need talking down because all I want to do is tell her everything which would make me a bitch but it would be so satisfying....she cheated on her DP to be with my ex so karma would be served up...gin is helping to numb the pain...can’t believe my ex is so evil.

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 20/02/2018 22:32

I discovered the same thing and when I told my ex I knew (on the phone) I literally heard his jaw drop Grin

I found I never had any trouble with him after that, because he knew I knew, and knew how much damage I could do.

ferntwist · 20/02/2018 22:32

Good detective work OP! Tell her. And them.

Thehop · 20/02/2018 22:33

I couldn’t stop myself telling.

Hisnamesblaine · 20/02/2018 22:34

You owe her nothing. Spill the beans

Arapaima · 20/02/2018 22:34

You’re not the bitch here, OP.

UterusUterusGhali · 20/02/2018 22:36

I'd tell her, but she won't believe you.
He'll call you the "crazy ex" etc etc.

Provide her with names and screenshots though so she can confront him...

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:38

The 2 others will prob get shot of him now as they know about my existence...they were flabbergasted. What disgusted me was that my ex professed undying love to these poor souls on the 4th dates to BOTH of them...talking about babies, marriage the whole lot....

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VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:41

Ooh @uterus I hadn’t thought about screenshots because you’re right he will paint me as a crazy cow otherwise....I should probably focus on just moving on but telling her and wiping the smile from her face is too tempting

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fuzzywuzzy · 20/02/2018 22:46

I’d keep it to yourself for now.

The OW is Clearly headed towards the same scenario she put you thro.
I find that very funny, but I wouldn’t tell her, let her find out in her own time.

Karigan1 · 20/02/2018 22:47

Screenshot and send lol. Karma

Carouselfish · 20/02/2018 22:49

Know someone who knows someone, whose DP of 15 years was promising the world to at least 6 women at last count. She and the main OW teamed up and did detective work. Got a good if strange friendship out of it because it really was that he was a completely different person than they both thought and a compulsive, convincing (and quite mad and dangerous, it turned out) liar.

isseywithcats · 20/02/2018 22:50

its not worth it i told my exes OW that she wasnt the only one he was sleeping with and she didnt believe me, let her find out for herself what a shitbag he is will be much more satisfying for you when they fall apart and you still have your dignity because he cant say you had anything to do with it he dug his own hole and fell in

DingDongDenny · 20/02/2018 22:50

Firstly, do you have any kids together. If you do, then it's not worth it.

If you don't then - as you were - knock yourself out

Myheartbelongsto · 20/02/2018 22:51

I chatted to a woman who went on a date with my husband. Fucked him out and she came over for a drink and stayed the night! She couldn't believe what he had done.

Livelounge · 20/02/2018 22:52

Perhaps you should let it go OP, accept its over and let it all pan out. Sorry it's all pants

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:53

@fuzzy - well I did think about letting her find out herself but he’s so clever she may never find out..

@carousel - I feel like I’m in a soap and never thought he was this person...have an appointment at the GUM clinic tomorrow as my dirty bastard of an ex was shagging at least two of them without a condom!

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/02/2018 22:54

What’s bumble?

DeathStare · 20/02/2018 22:54

How long has he been the ex?

If it's been ten years, then no stay out of it. (And what were you doing going through his phone?)

If it's a matter of days sure tell her.

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:55

No kids thank god...having his kids would be like having the spawn of Satan it would seem....I know I need to move on...and I know holding on to all this hate and anger is not good and won’t give me closure....but It would give me some satisfaction I think...it won’t split them up but when he eventually does slip up she will know what a mug she’s been...she won’t be coming over mine for a drink unless she wants to be swilled with one

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BlubberBlubber · 20/02/2018 22:55

I’d tell her. You’re in the right here

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 22:56

@needsa - a dating site apparently, I hadn’t heard of it either!

Death - a week.

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GabsAlot · 20/02/2018 22:59

unless you got proof still then dont bother she wont believe you and anyway they sound like their suited for each other

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Littlechocola · 20/02/2018 22:59

Meet up with the others and send your ex a pic.

VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 23:04

I’ve just started a whatsapp group and added the two women...they are being most helpful and are going to send me screenshoted messages from him...I got ooooodles of proof

OP posts:
VengefulViolet · 20/02/2018 23:05

@little - I like your style!

OP posts:
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