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DP 'secret' social media profile

(380 Posts)
bumblingbum Sun 17-Dec-17 19:55:36

NC for this one.

My partner of 10 years has never had any form of social media. He says it's a waste of time and pointless. The other day to my surprise I came across a photo on Instagram posted by a local business. Think along the lines of 'Another happy customer') and he was tagged in it so has his own profile.

I messaged him saying that I didn't realise he was on Instagram and he said he created the account 'ages' ago and that he doesn't use it at all. Fine. Whatever.

Now this is where I've been out of order...I've logged in to his profile. (Local business posted his username and I was able to guess his password.) No idea why I felt the need to snoop. I suppose because it's out of character for him as he has previously been against social media. I just find the whole thing a bit odd.

He's only posted 3 photos and they're of his new car- fine. What's weirding me out is that he's followed a Mum that I recognise from the school run. She's also followed him back and I remember him pointing her n the playground a few weeks ago saying he used to be friends with her and she's a really nice person. He's also followed a few other women (I assume that he knows from before we met) and some men too (so not just women) but not me!? He knows I use it a lot. He's set his profile to private too.

Also he said he created it ages and never uses it but it was actually only 3 weeks ago but from his activity he seems to be fairly active on it! I know I shouldn't have violated his privacy and logged in to his account but I just feel somethings a bit odd. Why is he saying he doesn't use it when he does?

Maybe I need to just forget it

6demandingchildren Sun 17-Dec-17 19:57:43

I would be keeping a close eye on it,

RoseRetro Sun 17-Dec-17 19:57:46

He probably doesn’t feel the need to follow you as you live together/ been together 10 years

He clearly isn’t active on it or doing anything weird?

I don’t think it’s that serious honestly

RunningOutOfCharge Sun 17-Dec-17 19:58:59

I'd be keeping a close eye too

user1488397844 Sun 17-Dec-17 19:59:18

Why dont you just add him? You say you're fairly active on there so why not! I would find it odd tbh but unless you're going to be upfront about the fact you snipped you'll need to let it

user1488397844 Sun 17-Dec-17 19:59:46

Sorry posted too soon *let it go.

Chocolate254 Sun 17-Dec-17 20:00:06

No you dont need to forget it because he has lied to you, why is what you should find out, Whats his reason??

bumblingbum Sun 17-Dec-17 20:01:45

@RoseRetro From what I see he is fairly active on it.

Cloudyapples Sun 17-Dec-17 20:02:12

Did you check if there were any direct messages?

Whiterabbitears Sun 17-Dec-17 20:02:40

Its a bit suspect that he's denying using it, why isn't he open about it? I would be watching to see if anything develops.

0ccamsRazor Sun 17-Dec-17 20:02:49

I would wonder why he feels that it is ok to lie to you.

SwimmingInLemonade Sun 17-Dec-17 20:04:48

If you don's mind him knowing that you know, follow him and see what he does.

Or if you want to go down the spy route, create a fake profile and follow him from that....

SwimmingInLemonade Sun 17-Dec-17 20:05:04

don't

Gerbil17 Sun 17-Dec-17 20:05:17

Your gut was telling you something, you followed it and found this out.

Did you check the direct messages?

notapizzaeater Sun 17-Dec-17 20:05:48

He’s lied to you, has he a history ?

JustGiveMeTwoMinutes Sun 17-Dec-17 20:06:27

Saying he opened the account ages ago and doesn't use it is an absolute classic lie.

SandyDenny Sun 17-Dec-17 20:10:17

I don't do instagram so don't know if this is possible but could you set up a fake account and follow him? Can you tell who follows who first? Does he use his own name, could the other mum have followed him first and he automatically followed her back (is that how it works?)

Whisky2014 Sun 17-Dec-17 20:12:00

I would set it to public and add you!

IntoTheFloodAgain Sun 17-Dec-17 20:12:03

Agree with pp, keep a close eye.
If he’s fairly active, it generally pops up in conversation. And he’s already lied about using it, and when he started it.

I’d test the waters first and try to follow him (not sure if you can if he’s private, not sure how it works) if you can’t, ask him to follow you. See if he deletes any of the activities before he makes it visible to you.

Gerbil17 Sun 17-Dec-17 20:13:58

If he is private he will need to accept your follow request before you get access to his pics or be able to see who he follows etc.

Usually when people start the likes of instagram they follow people they know - partners included.
There definitely seems to be something fishy about this

bumblingbum Sun 17-Dec-17 20:16:25

As I've said he's always been 'against' social media so to speak. So I'm wondering if he's just a bit embarrassed to admit he uses it now after being against it for so long.

What I don't understand is why he has lied to me about when he created the account and also he says he doesn't use it but he does. There were no DM's and he's only 'liked' photos of cars so far. I do find it odd that he's followed the woman he pointed out to me at school though.

I don't want him to know I can access his account in case he changes his password or something. Would it be really bad for me to keep an eye on it? I feel like bad for violating his privacy and I would be really annoyed if he accessed my accounts.

fourandnomore Sun 17-Dec-17 20:17:16

I am absolutely useless at social media and created an insta account simply to use layout which lets you make collages of photos. It automatically invited everyone in my phone to be followed by me! Cue people I have texted to respond to my children's party invitations being followed by me and following me back. He has lied which is the concern so i would just follow him and then ask him why he said he set it up ages ago and didn't. It could be innocent in terms of who he's following but the lie is a concern.

Gerbil17 Sun 17-Dec-17 20:18:09

Why dont you create a new account and follow this woman. See what kind of shit she posts.

I wouldnt let him know you have accessed it.

Wheelywheel Sun 17-Dec-17 20:19:25

I don't see the big deal here. He's created an account, fine. Setting it to private is sensible.

Just request to follow him if you want to.

Wheelywheel Sun 17-Dec-17 20:20:16

Oh and don't create a fake account as it will probably link to yours through your phone number

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