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To discourage my friend from getting a 'Manchester Bee' tattoo

(214 Posts)
CircleofWillis Tue 30-May-17 09:15:58

My friend is from Manchester but moved to London 25 years ago. She wants to get a bee tattoo to show her support for the people affected by the awful tragedy and to give financial support to the appeal. She doesn't have any tattoos and has previously stated she doesn't like them. AIBU to want to talk her out of it as she may regret such a permanent statement in the future. Instead I want to suggest she think about just donating the money. I know it is her body and her choice but I feel she is being swept up in the emotion as some of her friends from home have posted their tattoos on FB. I don't have any tattoos myself but not because I have any dislike of them but I would hesitate myself before having a permanent reminder of such a sad event on my body.

SleepFreeZone Tue 30-May-17 09:17:30

Surely it's just showing some recognition of her roots? I think it's a pretty nice idea and there's no reason why she can't have the tattoo and donate some money to the cause too.

Msqueen33 Tue 30-May-17 09:17:52

I'd suggest she waits until things are less raw and in the meantime donate. A tattoo is for life and if she hasn't gotten one before she could well regret it.

ninja Tue 30-May-17 09:18:42

There are places around here doing Henna Tattoos - maybe she could get that done as a starting point to give her a chance to think about it

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-May-17 09:18:49

Are you her mum?

CrispyBathTowel Tue 30-May-17 09:19:16

Just letting you know if you didn't already that there have been at least 2 threads on this topic that ended up deleted. The bee tattoos appears to be an emotive and divisive subject. Plus I think the tattoo fundraiser has ended anyway.

FlyingElbows Tue 30-May-17 09:20:04

Do you feel your friend is mentally incompetent of making her own decisions as an adult in other areas? No? Then back off. It's her choice. Lots and lots and lots of people have tattoos to mark sad things, very important to them. I get your "bandwagon" point, and it's valid, but it's her choice to make.

obviouslymarvellous Tue 30-May-17 09:20:25

What's it got to do with you really though? Her body and all that and she can always have a smaller one and in a non visible place (if she chooses) I think it's a great idea - I'm from Manchester. I am seriously considering having one after I return from jollies. She could always get a car sticker too with the manchester bee on

BewtySkoolDropowt Tue 30-May-17 09:23:59

Maybe she hates tattoos because she has not considered that they can be truly meaningful. And this clearly is.

Her decision, she's an adult.

Joinourclub Tue 30-May-17 09:26:02

I wouldn't see it as marking a sad event, but more as expressing pride in her Manc roots.

BakewellSliceAgain Tue 30-May-17 09:28:09

I'd suggest that she may want to wait a while. She's free to ignore the suggestion.

Sionella Tue 30-May-17 09:31:22

I hate tattoos (especially DP's ill-advised ones that he got at 15, which have not aged well!). I have already donated to the charity.

I am still thinking seriously about getting a little bee done, somewhere that can't be seen except by me/DP. The tragedy made me feel very strongly about my roots and the people who are from where I am from.

SuperFlyHigh Tue 30-May-17 09:43:03

It's her body, her choice.

I think it's a good idea especially as she doesn't like tattoos as it's obviously important to her due to her roots and she wants to help out with the donation for it.

allegretto Tue 30-May-17 09:44:09

Advise her to wait 6 months.

BakewellSliceAgain Tue 30-May-17 09:45:14

If she normally does not like tattoos it is possible the emotions of this week could lead to regretting it later. Waiting a while is wiser.

angryladyboobs Tue 30-May-17 09:45:48

Back off. It isn't your choice. What someone else puts on their body is no business of yours.

BusterGonad Tue 30-May-17 09:46:38

Leave her to it, it's her life, her body, her choice!

HildaOg Tue 30-May-17 09:54:58

I'd be honest and tell her if she wants to deface herself performance grieving then that's her business but she's just outing herself as someone who's getting swept up in a wave of manufactured emotion and attention seeking.

BakewellSliceAgain Tue 30-May-17 09:56:17

That's an odd take on honesty.

Sionella Tue 30-May-17 09:56:32

Funny what some people call "honest", Hilda. Other people might have a different name for it!

BanginChoons Tue 30-May-17 09:58:22

I think it's totally up to her. Maybe suggest she gets it somewhere discreet so she can cover it when she chose to.

And what the fuck is "performance grieving"?

HildaOg Tue 30-May-17 09:59:44

And what's that? It is the truth. A bunch of idiots trying to be a part of a public grievance performance, it's insulting to the victims and their families who are actually grieving.

HildaOg Tue 30-May-17 10:01:55

Performance grieving; oh look at me... I'm a part of this, pretending to give a shit... Getting so wrapped up in the hysteria and attention seeking of it all I get a tattoo to make it all about ME...

PurpleDaisies Tue 30-May-17 10:03:26

There's really no need for that hilda.

I think it's sensible to wait a while before getting any tattoo but if she's an adult it's totally her decision.

Radishal Tue 30-May-17 10:05:10

Local Manchester MP, Jonathan Reynolds- rather straitlaced kind of person- has just got one.
Whatever people feel like doing to respond to this is ok.
"Performance grieving " is a rather snotty mean term. Let people respond in their own way.

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