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BF coming in when I'm in the shower!

(247 Posts)
RedheadLover Mon 29-May-17 14:38:20

My BF has a rather irritating habit of coming the bathroom when I'm in the shower and I really don't like it. I don't think there's anything sexual about it (honestly!), he just doesn't seem to think it's a big deal if he wants to come in and talk to me while I'm washing my hair or whatever.

I've told him I don't appreciate being walked in on and would actually rather have the time to myself. He thought this was strange and said 'it's not like I've never seen you naked before' angry but has reluctantly agreed not to keep walking in on me.

So today, rather than bursting in as usual, he was knocking on the door. I could hear he was saying something but couldn't make out the words over the sound of the water and the music I had on. Figuring it must be something important as we'd only just had a conversation about how I prefer not to be bothered while showering, I got out of the shower (conditioner still on), wrapped myself in a towel and traipsed across to the door (leaving a trail of water) to see what he wanted.

The message which he'd found so vital to relay to me was that the pizza he'd put in for lunch would be ready in ten minutes confused

He says I'm ungrateful because he only wanted to let me know so it wouldn't get cold. I think he should have waited until I was out the shower to tell me lunch was ready!

AIBU to be annoyed and to wish I could have just fifteen minutes of privacy?! Does anyone else's partner do this?

Empireoftheclouds Mon 29-May-17 14:42:22

Lock the fucking door


FittonTower Mon 29-May-17 14:42:49

Yeah, that would piss me off. We only have one bathroom so the kids will often burst in on one or other of us but we don't do it to each other. It's difficult to get peace from 2 young children without my partner trying to have a conversation with me too mid-shower.

bailz Mon 29-May-17 14:43:00

How did he know how long you would be in the shower for? Perhaps you where planning on shaving your legs and exfoliating etc?
He came in to give you a 10 minute warning.

Anothernewnn Mon 29-May-17 14:43:36

Just ignore him next time. If it truly is an emergency, he'll find a way to let you know

StillDrivingMeBonkers Mon 29-May-17 14:43:38

Cook your own lunch.

phoenixtherabbit Mon 29-May-17 14:43:54

It wouldn't bother me but yanbu for wanting privacy at all!

Get a lock!

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 29-May-17 14:44:22

Only you know if he's an irritating extrovert, with attention issues, who finds it hard to contain himself for two minutes OR if he's a controlling weirdo who can't let you have 15 minutes alone.

Both are annoying, one is serious.

expatinscotland Mon 29-May-17 14:45:03


AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 14:47:21

He sounds like a needy toddler

pigeondujour Mon 29-May-17 14:48:27

God, yes, so annoying. I feel really vulnerable in the shower and someone coming in would frighten me then make me blood boiling angry. And if you make me turn the water off to hear you talking you had better be telling me the fucking house is on fire.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 29-May-17 14:49:08

Lock the door!

2rebecca Mon 29-May-17 14:49:09

Agree with getting a lock on the door and using it. You can now get handles with thumb locks on the inside that you can open with a screwdriver from the outside if a toddler locks themselves in. Bathroom doors without locks only work if everyone has the same ideas v privacy. Either tell your boyfriend firmly when he does this you hate being disturbed in the bathroom unnecessarily and he should knock or lock the door.
If you're showering before eating it seems odd not to have a discussion re what time you'll be ready to eat before showering. As pizzas only take 10 min he could have waited, unless you'd been in there 20 minutes and usually just take 5 and he was starving.

TitaniasCloset Mon 29-May-17 14:49:49

He really does sound like a needy toddler.

Pinkheart5917 Mon 29-May-17 14:50:18

I can kind of understand him telling you about the pizza only being 10 minutes tbh, he didn't know how long you'd be in the shower did he? Imo that is not unreasonable

But in general if you don't like it that's fair enough to say don't do it

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 29-May-17 14:51:33

But I would go batshit if anyone came into the bathroom when I was in there!

araiwa Mon 29-May-17 14:51:50

coming tomorrow- my bf cooked my dinner. i went for a shower and took half an hour. When i was finished, i went downstairs and my dinner was cold. why didnt he tell me? aibu

Fragglez Mon 29-May-17 14:53:27

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. DP and I often sit in the bathroom to have a chat while the other one is showering after work. i might even have a wee

Put a lock on the door - it's a 2 minute job. I assume you don't have one or you would be using it already.

RedheadLover Mon 29-May-17 14:54:08

Thanks all - we do have a lock but it sticks so I can't really use it (unless I want to risk being in the bathroom for a lot longer than I bargained for!)

FrenchMartiniTime Mon 29-May-17 14:54:54

Don't see the issue to be honest.

You told him to stop coming in so he did. He knocked on the door and waited. He just wanted to let you know lunch would be ready soon so it wouldn't go cold. How was he to know how long you would be?

I think he sounds lovely and you sound hard work.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Mon 29-May-17 14:55:39

Okay then - fix the lock.

Empireoftheclouds Mon 29-May-17 14:59:16

(Fix the lock) lock the fucking door.

It's really not difficult.

DeadGood Mon 29-May-17 14:59:27

YANBU to want privacy, but YABU to expect "quiet alone time in the shower" as the default option. I'd say most people would expect to be able to come into the bathroom when their partner is in there.

paxillin Mon 29-May-17 15:00:14

Put cbeebies on for him before your shower, like you would for a real toddler. A bit of WD40 will fix the sticky lock.

LorLorr2 Mon 29-May-17 15:00:31

Make it clear that for you, showering is 'alone time' to think. I'm sure he'll get there eventually! grin

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