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School telling me what title I should use

(297 Posts)
mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:06:41

My child started a new school in September. A few weeks into the new term I received an email from the school saying that they would like to change the title they have for me on their records from 'Ms' to 'Mrs' and if I am not happy with this then to reply to the email. I replied saying I would like to keep 'Ms' thank you very much. All has been fine since then. All communication has said 'Ms'.
Today I get a letter addressed to 'Mrs Mumofone1234'? AIBU to wonder why on earth they care what title I assign myself? Is this a stealth way of finding out the marital status of parents? (It is a hard to get into school that goes off church attendance).

MarklahMarklah Thu 24-Nov-16 21:13:17

I'd go back to them and point out the error. I know in the whole scheme of things happening in the world this is relatively trivial, but if you want to be known as Ms. then that is how correspondence should be addressed.

flumpybear Thu 24-Nov-16 21:14:41

Wow ... well my title is Dr ... wonder how they'd feel about that lol! hmm

Trifleorbust Thu 24-Nov-16 21:15:50

I would have asked why they cared hmm

chickenowner Thu 24-Nov-16 21:15:58

It was probably a mistake. I doubt very much that anyone working at the school cares what your title is.

mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:18:55

Well they obviously do, Chicken, or they wouldn't have asked me if they could change it from 'Ms' to 'Mrs', would they? hmm

Kel1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:20:26

I agree that maybe it was an error. But the fact they said they wanted to change it in the first place would annoy me. Why does it matter what your relationship status is? Or what title you wish to be addressed as?
(Not the same thing, but my lo's childminder constantly spells my name wrong, despite me telling her several times. It's not a big deal really, but it annoys me a bit)

ConvincingLiar Thu 24-Nov-16 21:21:19

Weird thing to do on their part. That said, if you choose a church school you sign up to their rules and values. FWIW I'm a married Miss so I agree you can have whatever title you want.

Stormwhale Thu 24-Nov-16 21:21:44

Why the hell do they care? How odd.

mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:22:28

I don't think the bible mentions anything about titles, convincing.

Hassled Thu 24-Nov-16 21:23:32

That's truly bizarre. Whatever school management system they're using, you'd imagine there was a range of titles to choose from. Email back and say actually it's Dowager Countess Mumofone.

user1477282676 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:24:36

Is it a Catholic school? My sister had this.

mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:27:43

Hassled grin

user No, its Cof E

Carrados Thu 24-Nov-16 21:28:47

Did you piss someone off?

mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:31:21

I don't understand, Carrados...are you saying if I pissed someone off they would change my title from Ms to Mrs? hmm Erm, ok.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 24-Nov-16 21:31:45

Wow ... well my title is Dr ... wonder how they'd feel about that lol! hmm
Mine too, have had letters addressed to Doctor and Mrs Dawndonna! Grrr!

PhotosGinAndALongLieIn Thu 24-Nov-16 21:31:47

My DCs' school struggles with Ms. They always refer to me as Mrs. The DCs are "Name Ex'sName". I am Ms MaidenName. I get either Mrs ExName or Mrs MaidenName. I'm not married and I might even keep Ms if I was. They've never asked me to change it though. That's bonkers!

PapalYoungPretenderMortificado Thu 24-Nov-16 21:32:26


No - but I bet she's about to grin

PlanIsNoPlan Thu 24-Nov-16 21:37:15

It's hard to believe how backwards we've gone since the 1970s - it's all laws and rights and yes, entitlements, but these are all imposed. The mentality is not even the same starting point anymore, back then there was a bit of room to be just a bit different, to be just a bit full on, to be absurd to some but still rock on and be 'normal'. That mentality is hardened to imposed change and has thrown all individual thought out of the window. That mentality is the society that is Us. Yes OP's post is about something trivial and I get called Mrs a lot as DS has my name, although I'm a Miss, but the fact it's even a question in 2016 is the really unreasonable thing.

LittleYogisCrosby78 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:38:53

i would have it out with them, as Ms can be married or unmarried the same way Mr is married or unmarried. and its your right to becalled Ms. i use Ms too and the school are ok with it. good luck

Carrados Thu 24-Nov-16 21:39:08

Just wondering why you got an email out the blue. That's all.

Hassled Thu 24-Nov-16 21:41:45

I've always found schools to be OK, but my GP practice persist in calling me Mrs Hassled (I am married, but use my maiden name and am too old to be a Miss, so prefer Ms). Even hospital referrals etc. I've stopped caring tbh (that's a lie - I find it infuriating) - I know they have bigger things to fret about.

mumofone1234 Thu 24-Nov-16 21:42:08

It was a parentmail type thing, so I'm assuming all the 'Ms' women would have got the same email.

BeanAnTi Thu 24-Nov-16 21:42:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovewillow Thu 24-Nov-16 21:42:43

It's all very odd! My daughter goes to a C of E school and no one has batted an eyelid as my Ms status, different surname to my daughter too!! I am married as I it happens! I've probably really confused issues!

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