On a packed commuter tube carriage, I'm sitting in the "priority seat". It only just became available when we reached a station, and I was glad of the chance to sit down and it was closest to where I was standing. Currently ill with a bug and feeling like death, not that that is hugely relevant as I'm not pregnant or disabled to qualify for special treatment. If I hadn't sat there, someone else would have and nobody else appeared to be a "qualifying person".
So, a mum and little girl get on. Train becomes less packed. Girl looks about 8 yrs old, shoe size 1-2 (I'm good with shoes), and has a scooter. My instinct was to offer the girl my seat, but I dithered and the woman next to me offers her seat to the child, and the mum declines as they are getting off the next stop.
When I was a child, my mum made us get up to offer an adult a seat, regardless of whether said adult was vulnerable or in special need. This was the social convention because in those days you deferred to the older generation. When we were babies or toddlers my mum would have been given a seat and we would be on her lap. We would rarely have been offered a seat of our own. I can't remember at what age we were made to stand but probably from about 4 or 5.
So what is the cut off age or condition now? This girl was quite capable of standing, yet possibly because I have small children, and as a society we now defer to children's wants and needs far more than when I was a child, my first instinct was to offer her my seat.
I dithered with indecision paralysis, so lost the opportunity. Then I started to wonder if I actually should have offered it or not. Over to you, wise old MN.
AIBU?
Aibu not to offer to give up my seat?
fatandold · 08/11/2016 18:59
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Girl looks about 8 yrs old, shoe size 1-2 (I'm good with shoes)
Seriously impressed by this. 
And no, I wouldn't have given an able bodied 8 yr old a seat. I either had to sit on my mum's lap or stand as a child (and I have mild CP so balance not always the best).
Yes definitely over thinking! I'm not going to lose sleep, more like musing on the rightness or wrongness of the issue. And realised I was no longer sure and thought my fellow MNers might put me straight!
jayisforjessica that's nice to hear about teens with lovely manners!
verybitchyrestingface I think I was staring too much at her feet/the floor!
Frouby I think I remember those signs 
I remember being pregnant (with a badge FFS) and nobody giving me a seat. I'm maybe a bit militant about that now. I made a random bloke give up his seat for a pregnant lady the other week. She was too polite to ask so I did for her. I asked politely, he gave it up with good grace, and she was very relieved. She had been standing since before I got on. I on the other hand had to stand the whole way (and my back was killing me that day). Can't ask for myself though. I blame Ridiculous Britishness.
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I hope your bug isn't contagious?? shock
Why are you on a crowded train with a bug?
What, exactly, do you expect people to do? Stay home every time they have a sniffle? Employers would love that.
Anyway, fatandold, I was brought up to stand up for an adult, any adult, in any setting and it irks me when children don't. However, if they're small or look unable to cope with the situation I'll gladly give them my seat. Though most kids prefer being allowed to stand on public transport 😁
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