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fucked off

(175 Posts)
SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 03:18:17

Every night for the last 15 days my daughter has had barely little sleep. Which meant I've had barely little sleep. We've both been ill and a lot going on otherwise.

For the 15th night she's woken, come to my bed screaming at me, screaming at me that I'm hurting her, never fucking touched her btw, and screaming she wants daddy, screaming over fucking everything.

I lost my rag with her, nearly walked last night (would of if DH was here). And again nearly walked tonight, just wanted to clear my head but he's emotionally blackmailing me not to.

Told me it's not his fault he's not been here, his dad's been dying. It's fuck all to to with his dad dying, he hasn't been here either way, he doesn't know what the fuck has been going on here every night.

Then he started speaking to me like a child. If I was that way inclined I'd have hit him. But I didn't, I just walked away.

Now my daughter doesn't want me, she wants daddy, she looked fucking terrified of me.

I'm tired, emotional and still poorly, had bad news today that a life long dream has gone down the toilet. I snapped. And now he hates me and so does she.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 19-Apr-16 03:22:53

How old is your daughter?

You sound at the end of your tether. Do you have anyone who could take a night shift?

Champagneformyrealfriends Tue 19-Apr-16 03:29:25

You poor thing. Up doing a night feed and very sleep deprived so although I can't sympathise with what your daughter is saying, I understand the lack of sleep. You need a break-can anyone have her for a night or two? flowers

SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 03:47:33

My daughter? She's 3.

No, no one will take her. I don't have many family and have even less friends. There are no friends I'd trust to have her overnight anyway..

SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 03:51:35

I came back into room where DD and DH were, just to get my duvet and she wouldn't get off it, begged me to stay with her because she wanted cuddles.

Can't keep doing this. It's doing me in.

olympicsrock Tue 19-Apr-16 04:05:56

Poor you. She sounds like she is having night terrors. My 4 year old had them. At this age they can get them when they are unwell. Ours come in bouts. Give her calpol and try and crash for a few hours during the day. Give her a snack, childproof lock the door and put on cbeebies. It is just a phase.

MadamDeathstare Tue 19-Apr-16 04:21:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety Tue 19-Apr-16 04:26:03

You sound as if you are in quite a bad place right now. Would you be able to go and talk to your GP?

It seems to me this is more than just sleep deprivation.

MattDillonsPants Tue 19-Apr-16 05:19:11

Can you sleep in the day OP? Is she at nursery yet?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 19-Apr-16 06:18:08

Sounds like a night terror to me..lots of info on Google. They can intensify after illness. Kids grow out of them and they are not aware at the time and don't remember next day. It's related to sleepwalking, which it sounds like she is doing. Best thing to do is stay very quiet and settle her without touching her or fussing too much.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 19-Apr-16 06:19:21

Don't read too much into your relationship while you are both sleep deprived and suffering emotional stress. Try to pull together for a bit.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 19-Apr-16 06:19:33

Have been there.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Tue 19-Apr-16 06:25:08

Dd had night terrors from about 2-4 years old.

She probably, even if her eyes are open and she's wandering round, doesn't know what she's doing. She probably doesn't remember the next day.

Dd would be eyes open and all rigid, screaming.

Sometimes a drop of rescue remedy would stop her. flowers

AtrociousCircumstance Tue 19-Apr-16 06:50:38

My sympathies. Sounds fucking awful. I've been through a version of that too with my DC and I also felt like walking out, many times. I didn't but I wanted to. In the end I would sit in the garden sometimes with wine, crying and DH would step in. Your partner needs to commit to helping all he can with this. It really does affect ones mental health.

It DOES pass but it is awful when you're dealing with it, I know.


SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 11:30:40

I've had it. Been screaming at me all morning. I'm waiting for him to get back and I'm gone.

Tired of doing my best for everyone, despite feeling like shit, only to be spoken to like I'm in the way, a sex toy (he knows I'm quite ill but he keeps saying he wants sex, that he knows I'm ill but he doesn't mind).

JerryFerry Tue 19-Apr-16 11:50:06

Wish I could help as I totally get where you are at. I would come and get your wee girl and look after her so you could rest. flowers

I am not in UK but here we have a service that sends home help for this sort of thing, all free. I wonder is there is anything like that near you?

SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 12:10:45

Nothing like that... He's still not home and she's finally calmed down. Don't know what the hell is going on with her ATM. Maybe she's picking up on everything else going on?

srslylikeomg Tue 19-Apr-16 12:20:31

Your daughter sounds like she's feeling insecure. She could well be picking up on everything at home. I feel for you - you sound wiped out. Your husband and his penis can take a hike - have you calmly explained how lost you are at the moment. He sounds like he isn't respecting you or supporting you much at all sad

I have been here... and as hard as it is because they can be NIGHTMARISH your DD is only 3. She isn't manipulating you, she isn't doing this to hurt you, she loves you and you are her world. Could you see your health visitor or sure start? The sure start round here is ace - you just pop in and they offer sympathy and tea and support.

FuckSanta Tue 19-Apr-16 12:23:09

Your posts get the last few weeks are telling, OP. Huge levels of stress at home, you and your partner screaming at each other etc. You've mentioned that your daughter has allergies and that she's been unwell - this won't be helping.

SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 15:08:23

Just doing everything I can but its never good enough. For him or her, seriously close to leavening. Sat outside looking at my car thinking about where I could just go off to.

I got home and he started having a go at me because the kitchen is a mess. Yes it's a mess, I've been ill for the last week and daughter for 10 days. Neither of us has eaten more than a handful of food until yesterday when she got her appetite back. And I haven't eaten anything since yesterday at all.

It's hard to find the energy to have a spotless home when I'm either being sick or having a child scream relentlessly at me. I'm tired and need a break.

But I'm not gonna get one because I'm constantly running about after someone else.

FuckSanta Tue 19-Apr-16 15:14:58

Why can't he clean the kitchen?

FuckSanta Tue 19-Apr-16 15:16:12

You need to get out of this negative mindset. And try lovebombing with your child. She's a baby and you're blaming her for your life's woes.

Arfarfanarf Tue 19-Apr-16 15:21:03

Instead of bitching at you, he could actually pitch in.
You can't carry on like this. I can tell you are at the end of your tether.

I am disgusted that he wants to use your body for sex and doesnt care that you are ill.

Sod the housework and sod him. You need to find any window at all to sleep. You cant think clearly, you cant function when you are so tired.

BabyBuzz Tue 19-Apr-16 15:21:35

Could it be night terrors? if so, your dd is probably still asleep or woke up suddenly and is frightened. It is a terrible time for all of you and everyone has their own stresses. I hope things improve for all of you flowers

SurroMummy13 Tue 19-Apr-16 15:24:54

Because he has a chest infection.

He doesn't do anything anyway.

Negative mindset? My FIL just passed away, my daughter and I have been ill for 10 days, barely slept or eaten. And my dream of becoming a surrogate mum has been smashed into smithereens. So yeah, I have a negative mindset right now.

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