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To feel incensed by the woman who gave me daggers today

(332 Posts)
lill72 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:32:06

I took my 5 year old to a Christmas carols concert at the Royal Albert Hall today. Lots of children go, as it is a singalong. There are also lots of older people there. We were sitting just behind a group of women in the 60's. My DD accidentally kicked the back of the seat of one women. I could not believe the daggers the woman gave me. She turned around and I tried to explain I was doing my best to stop DD from doing this. She just kept staring at me, trying to show her utmost disapproval. She did not mutter a word. ONLY STARED.This was when she did it once. My daughter then did it once more just brushing her feet, again, by accident and the woman turned and did the stare. It was mean and it was ugly.

After interval, I put my programme in front of me so she could not make eye contact with me. My DD unfortunately brushed the seat again as she was a bit restless. the lady turned but she could not make eye contact. I thought I am not giving you the satisfaction miserable old git.

I get it. It is annoying when someone hits your seat. But she was really awful the first time it happened. As my daughter was doing it by accident when she moved it is very hard for me to control. It really upset me soneone could be so harsh when it's an all ages xmas singalong which is supposed to be joyous and bring love and the Christmas spirit into your heart. I feel like sometimes people have forgotten what it is like to be a child or have children.

After this, I did everything I could to stop DD doing it again.

This woman kind of ruined my afternoon. I try my utmost to have a well behaved daughter and I am always aware of others around me, so much so that I probably apologise too much for things I do. I just find this sort of behaviour from this woman so nasty and bereft of any sort of forgiveness for the fact it was a child. I think of anyone, this woman was the one with the appalling behaviour.

The other woman around me were lovely.

KeepOnMoving1 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:36:46

She didn't ruin your afternoon, you probably ruined hers by the irritating kicking. Why didn't you swap seats with your child. Have you ever sat in front of someone kicking your chair? She wasn't upset about any noise it was being disturbed that annoyed her.

sefoolie Sun 13-Dec-15 23:37:07

she must be living on a knife edge to be so annoyed by the presence of a child near her. But you shouldn't have let it ruin your afternoon!! People have to be MUCH meaner to me before it penetrates my forcefield!

Costacoffeeplease Sun 13-Dec-15 23:39:33

Chair-kicking is so, so annoying, how many times did it happen? I think I'd have done more than glare tbh

MuttonWasAGoose Sun 13-Dec-15 23:41:49

Yanbu. Repeated kicking would merit a look, and no need for daggers. The occasional little kick in a crowded theatre shouldn't be an issue.

If it had been me with my kid I'd have told her to turn around before I switched seats and showed her what a real kicking felt like.

sefoolie Sun 13-Dec-15 23:42:57

I don't waste my time glaring at the parent, I just say to the child ''that's really annoying, will you stop?'' and they usually stare back, taken aback. Repeat your request, and eventually they mutter 'yes' then say thank you like you've won the lottery. (years of travelling on planes)

Selinemaratima Sun 13-Dec-15 23:43:51

I've had this a few times in motherhood, my DC's are generally well behaved when in public at home they are feral I think that our generation are the best parents - there I said it! Well I do, think back 50 years, children weren't given the same consideration and respect (socially) that they're given now and I think the "lady" you encountered today obvs doesn't like how we've evolved. I bet she's a mare to little children daily. I'd've squirted her with breast milk grin then explained about my forceful let-down and oversupply ... Too far?

sparechange Sun 13-Dec-15 23:44:56

So your daughter repeatedly kicked the seat in front, the one turned round and gave you a stare, without saying anything or being rude, and you are cross?

Etak15 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:45:23

Awe you meanies, I'm a bit of an accidental chair kicker fidgeter myself never mind the kids. Maybe some people just have different levels of tolerance but she sounds evil. Yanbu don't let the miserable meanies bother you though. wink

OfaFrenchmind2 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:47:04

Your afternoon was ruined by a stare? ... You do realise that you did this to yourself, right? I mean, yeah she stared, but that's it.
You should apologise every time your kid kicks of course (because getting kicked in the back is very annoying) or even change place with your daughter, but if the stare goes longer than 3sc, the best thing you can do is pull the most ridiculous face you can do at her. That will cut out the intimidation attempt.

MuttonWasAGoose Sun 13-Dec-15 23:47:10

sparechange the old bat over reacted from the first kick. Not the repeated kicking. (which sounds like one kick and two accidental scuffs in total.)

Peachypeaches Sun 13-Dec-15 23:47:22

Don't let it spoil your afternoon. Maybe you could have swapped seats with your daughter if she was annoying the lady? I have a vestibular disorder and if my seat is kicked/nudged/moved it can set off my vertigo symptoms and make me quite ill, so for some people it can be much more than an irritation. I do explain this nicely to people though when I'm in that situation.

Domino777 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:47:49

It is very annoying to have someone kick your chair constantly. Death stare sounds a bit over the top but don't take it personally

lill72 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:48:37

Yes knife edge is right seffolie.

This lady gave me daggers and a 10 second stare the FIRST time it happened. I mean anyone can hit someone's chair by mistake - adult or child.

I said I get it, it is annoying. But it was an accident and I did EVERYTHING in my power to control it. And honestly it was 2-3 occurrences of a light tap with the shoe by accident. Not kicking with all her might.

I get you may be annoyed if it is done over and over but this lady had a bee in her bonnet from the get go.

TheHouseOnTheLane Sun 13-Dec-15 23:49:33

I once had my seat kicked repeatedly on a 6 hour flight and I was about to pop when I got off.

I agree that you could have moved seats.

OfaFrenchmind2 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:50:08

To be honest, Seline, if you were to squirt me with bodily fluid, and I could see that you did it on purpose, I would spit right in your face and see how you like it.
But yes, the lady was ridiculous with the overly long stare.

KeepOnMoving1 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:52:41

You didn't do everything to stop it, or you would have swapped seats with your child.

MuttonWasAGoose Sun 13-Dec-15 23:52:43

Then she deserved to be kicked.

A man was arsey to my child on an airplane, and he hadn't even done anything. He was just mad that I'd asked him to move his bag off the empty seat in the departure lounge so was a dick about my son stumbling slightly against his arm rest as we were boarding.

I turned around to say something to my husband as I walked past and "accidentally" swung my rucksack into the man's face.

It was deeply satisfying.

If someone wants to be miserable for a trivial reason, I may as well give them a good reason.

lill72 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:53:56

and I did manage to get back into the Christmas singalong spirit!

UntilTheCowsComeHome Sun 13-Dec-15 23:54:42

She stared for 10 seconds?!

How did you not burst out laughing?

Arfarfanarf Sun 13-Dec-15 23:54:59

She stared at you for ten seconds? Thats a long time to stare.
Yes your daughter kicking the chair was annoying and you should have been more foreful/proactive - make her stand (if possible) swap seats etc but ten seconds?! When you count that out its longer than it sounds. And such long staring is aggressive and intimidating. Id have pulled a cross-eye at her after 5.

Dipankrispaneven Sun 13-Dec-15 23:55:24

I'm prepared to bet that when she turned round, that wasn't the first kick - I bet it had been happening before but OP simply hadn't noticed.

QueenArseClangers Sun 13-Dec-15 23:55:59

Did you not apologise? Like 'sorry love, he didn't mean to bang your chair'?

Selinemaratima Sun 13-Dec-15 23:56:18

'Twas a joke to brighten up OP's ruined afternoon! Sorry! can u imagine the headline "milky spit fight at the Royal Albert Hall" 🌻

lill72 Sun 13-Dec-15 23:56:57

keepmoving we were at the very top of the Albert Hall (ie super steep) and I was holding all manner of bags, coats etc. Very tight space to swap without disrupting others. TBH I didnt think it at the time but hey if I encounter this miserable lady next time....

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