This is an unusual one, I fully expect judgement and flaming but there's always good advice amongst the pearl clutchers so I'm just going for it.
My partner and I have been together 16 years, we have two children together.
During these 16 years we have learned that we don't do well living together. I very much need my space and he seems happy with that, except he's talking about marriage.
The thought is giving me palpitations.
Quite honestly I absolutely love the idea of marrying him but the thought of living with another adult makes me feel instantly stressed.
This morning though, my mum pointed out that marriage doesn't have to mean living together.
This sounds pretty amazing and I'll have to discuss this with my partner but I have some worries.
For example, will it totally screw our kids up? Two parents that love each other, married but don't live together?! Would we be screwing with their future relationships? As far as our children go, me and their dad are just friends, I've been very very careful there. I've been so worried about it affecting them that I've made it as black and white as I can.
Secondly, I work full time and so does my partner. He has a flat which he rents, and loves.
I have a great flat which I also rent but because my job is a vocation and not something you do for money I get paid little and have housing benefit to help me with rent.
If we married and didn't live together how does that work? I don't want to seem as though I'm trying to screw the system for more money.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
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AIBU?
to want to get married but have no intention of living together?
258 replies
SpongebobCirclePants · 21/11/2015 11:13
OP posts:
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