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Or is Dh - evening meals

(167 Posts)
CarolPeletier Thu 16-Jul-15 13:33:41

Dh decided to become vegan about a year ago. I have tried desperately hard to make interesting and tasty family meals but am really struggling.

Many of the recipes I find take ages and I have three small children so need quick and easy meals. It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals.

Last night was the last straw. I made spag bol with soy mince, quorn has egg in. He complained it was too chewy and my cooking had gone down hill. I informed him it was my limited ingredients which has made my cooking, and meals for the whole family, go downhill.

I make homemade curries, tagines, skewers, pies, stews, warm salads... I'm no chef but feel I make an effort. Wibu to tell him to either eat dairy again or cook himself?? I am a sahm so feel pressure to put a meal on the table for when he walks in.

DorisLessingsCat Thu 16-Jul-15 13:34:33

Absolutely tell him to cook for himself!

honeysucklejasmine Thu 16-Jul-15 13:35:39

YANBU, if he wants to change his diet so drastically, he can damn well cook for himself.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 16-Jul-15 13:35:53

fine. great. back to your old cooking style then. he can make his own until he realises that he was an idiot.

someonestolemynick Thu 16-Jul-15 13:36:10

I'd tell him to cook for himself.

Corabell Thu 16-Jul-15 13:36:39

I think if he wants to be vegan he needs to either cook or at least prep his meals the night before. There are lots of family friendly vegan meals but when you have 3 little children sometimes you need to chuck an easy dinner together.

As for the "cooking going down hill" comment - that alone would put me on a cooking strike for the sheer cheek of it.

DadfromUncle Thu 16-Jul-15 13:37:08

YANBU Cheeky bugger (him)- speaking as a bloke and former DH, he needs a reality check!

5Foot5 Thu 16-Jul-15 13:37:39

Wow of course YANBU!!

It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals.
Er - no! You cook one meal for you and the children and if he wants something else he cooks it. He decided to go vegan so the onus is on him to shoulder the extra work involved for his life choices not you.

And he has the cheek to criticise your cooking! Honestly that would be the last straw. Why do you even need to ask?

CocktailQueen Thu 16-Jul-15 13:38:13

What a rude git! He's decided to change his diet - he cooks for himself and his limited range of foods. How rude! And the comment about your cooking?? Ooh, I wouldn't cook for him after that. Sympathy, OP!

Catnuzzle Thu 16-Jul-15 13:38:16

He can cook for himself.

Metacentric Thu 16-Jul-15 13:38:50

Tell him to fuck off and sort his own food out.

It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals.

No it doesn't. You make a meal for you and the children. If he doesn't want to eat it, he knows where the cooker is.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Thu 16-Jul-15 13:39:57

He should cook for himself. Not fair to expect you and the children to adopt a vegan diet, although as a kind-hearted soul you might occasionally cook something he can eat too.

I bet the veganism doesn't last long once he's got to make his own dinner hmm

DamnBamboo Thu 16-Jul-15 13:39:57

Tell him to fuck himself and cook his own food.
What a rude bastard.

googoodolly Thu 16-Jul-15 13:40:04

Cheeky sod - if he wants to go vegan, fine, but he can cook it himself!

Metacentric Thu 16-Jul-15 13:40:08

There are lots of family friendly vegan meals

It is perfectly possible to raise children on a vegan diet, but it isn't easy, and it's not something to be done casually. "Family friendly" is rather pushing it.

ValancyJane Thu 16-Jul-15 13:40:20

The absolute cheek of him!! YADNBU, he needs to get cooking for himself if he's that blooming fussy. Sounds like you are going to serious lengths to cook nice meals, how bloody unappreciative of him. I usually think when posters say 'go on strike' or 'stop doing it' it's a bit reactionary and OTT, but actually in your shoes I would be either telling him to take over the family cooking, or start cooking dairy and tell him to deal with it.

My OH has had the sense to never criticize a meal I've cooked, even if it has been a bit rubbish. I think he has a sense of self preservation that your husband clearly lacks!!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 16-Jul-15 13:40:23

Does he work every hour of the day to provide for you and the dcs?
Or is it more balanced?

I don't think a vegan diet is good for small children, unless there is a medical reason.

Can you batch cook his food and freeze it? Then have a healthy diet for the rest of the family.

You anbu to ask him to help out, or consider eating more foods, as long as you explain your reasons. And he inbu to decline, explaining his own reasons.

Surely, as two grown ups, you could compromise somewhere?

NerrSnerr Thu 16-Jul-15 13:40:23

Why on earth is he not cooking for himself?

ChillySundays Thu 16-Jul-15 13:43:02

Rule in this house is if you don't like what is being cooked you make your own. One is veggie and the another is a real meat lover so can't please both. I am not running a restuarant

CarolPeletier Thu 16-Jul-15 13:44:07

Thanks... I should point out he isn't normally that rude to me :-)
The thing is, he works all day, gets in late and is hungry, whereas I am home all day with the children so therefore have more time to cook (apparently).
It would seem mean to not have something for him, but the vegan food is driving me mad - I crave omlettes and have started drinking milk in the evening instead of wine!!!!

molyholy Thu 16-Jul-15 13:44:49

YADNBU - He can cook his own meals. Your cooking has gone 'downhill'. Cheeky fooker!!!!

FantasticButtocks Thu 16-Jul-15 13:45:28

It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals. Really? Do you truly see these as your only two options? He has decided to become a vegan, so he can sort his own food out, surely?

You are a stay at home mother not his personal chef. If he wants to be faddy and bloody ridiculous about food, then it's not fair if the rest of the family suffers.

After his comment about your cooking skills, I'd be telling him - You're right, it's all gone downhill, so from now on you sort your own food out and the dcs and I will go back to eating proper, normal decent food! Being a SAHM has nothing whatsoever to with it. You are not staying at home for him but for your dcs. He sounds bloody irritating.

londonrach Thu 16-Jul-15 13:45:46

Right just cook what you and the children would eat and buy vegan ingrediants for him. He can cook when he comes in if hes that fussy about your cooking. I give him less than a week..

BoomBoomsCousin Thu 16-Jul-15 13:45:57

I would be tempted to just start cooking what I wanted and tell him if he doesn't want to eat it, tough. But I hope what I would actually do is sit down and point out to him that his diet is difficult to accomodate, that you would appreciate more help (investigate and make suggestions for easy meals, quick substitutions so you can sometimes eat non-vegan while he has vegan, and how to ensures the children are getting the nutrients they need), and in doing some of the cooking himself, especially at weekends (I assume he works in the week more than you do). And say that if he was rude about my efforts again he could expect a significantly larger decline in quality and variety for himself.

Things get fraught with kids and it's easy for you both to forget how to be kind to each other. Try to build a better situation before taking a hard line, but don't let him walk all over you.

CactusAnnie Thu 16-Jul-15 13:45:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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