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so pissed off that yet again I have been mugged off

(175 Posts)
CoolAs10Fonzies Sun 14-Jun-15 08:57:09

I'm probably being a selfish twat but I am just so pissed off right now and I cannot see any other point of view except mine. I am also nursing a sore head from last night.

we were due to collect dsc today at 1pm. This is the normal arrangement and we have them week on week off. dd is at her dads so Sunday morning lie in after a night out. you'd think wouldn't you. .

exw calls dp asking can we have dsc from 07.00am this morning as she has arranged something to do with her hobby. so he jumps out of bed shoves clothes on and goes off to collect them this is all very well and good.

I stay in bed, boys come home get settled then dp comes in to bedroom with tea, telling me that he is needed at his hobby today and is leaving to go at 08.30am.

I have been mugged off haven't I?

so the boys mother gets to go off and do her thing, boys father gets to go off and do his thing and here's me, nursing a mild hangover, being dragged out of bed to look after 3 dss (3,5,7 )

this is not the first time either.
Tell me I am BU to feel pissed off about this situation.

disclaimer: this thread is no reflection on how I feel about these boys

PotteringAlong Sun 14-Jun-15 08:59:27

I'd just say no and leave before he does I think.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 14-Jun-15 08:59:49

Yanbu. How long will DP be gone?

Madamecastafiore Sun 14-Jun-15 09:00:03

Id tell him that I'm going out and he needs to look after his own kids.

You are seriously been taken the piss out of.

bostonbaby Sun 14-Jun-15 09:01:15

Yanbu at all
If your dp knew he was going on his hobby, he should've told his ex to stick to the usual arrangement.
You're rid of your own child and you cop for minding somebody else's? I'd get him back and make him take them out so you can recover in peace

YouMeddlingKids Sun 14-Jun-15 09:01:39

YANBU, I would be fuming. OTOH I would have made this perfectly clear when their dad told me his plan, rather than agreeing but then feeling pissed off. What can you do to stop it happening again?

londonrach Sun 14-Jun-15 09:01:49

Seriously his boys he looks after them or you do something together as a family.

PrimalLass Sun 14-Jun-15 09:02:13

Just say no.

CoolAs10Fonzies Sun 14-Jun-15 09:02:23

he should be back about 11am so in all honesty not a very long time.

MythicalKings Sun 14-Jun-15 09:03:24

YANBU. I agree with pottering get dressed and go out first.

ginmakesitallok Sun 14-Jun-15 09:04:14

Yanbu, you should have asked him what arrangements he'd put in place for DSS, was he taking them with him?

Suzietastic Sun 14-Jun-15 09:05:49

Ok well it's too late to do anything about it now. When he comes back tell him its not ok to make arrangements like that without checking with you first.

CoolAs10Fonzies Sun 14-Jun-15 09:06:39

he was all apologetic after I kicked off about it, told him I was pissed off etc and that it would never happen again.

no more favours for exw while I'm picking up the slack.

I don't like saying his kids, his problem because we are a family. he now knows how I feel (despite going off anyway) but instead of being away all day he should be back at 11am

SabrinaTheTeenageWitch Sun 14-Jun-15 09:07:23


I have a dd and if I ever need/want dp (not her dad) to look after her because me and her dad can't it is arranged and agreed in advance.

springalong Sun 14-Jun-15 09:08:25

if he was "needed" at his hobby he should go but take his children with him. He agreed to be flexible and have them early (which is great) but then he needs to deal with the childcare.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing Sun 14-Jun-15 09:10:33

I don't think YABU but it is only 1.5 hrs. If it were me, "looking after" would involve film/video games and me lying on the sofa, expecting a VERY easy day from 11am onwards.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing Sun 14-Jun-15 09:11:06

Hold on, I can't count - it's 2.5 hrs isn't it?

MrsHathaway Sun 14-Jun-15 09:11:21

Why didn't he say "no I can't because I have a prior engagement"? They've both behaved badly.

You get both lie-ins next weekend though definitely and he gets up with DD even if that's 5 am.

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself Sun 14-Jun-15 09:11:25

Those poor kids, no offense but they've come to see their dad not you. What a twat.

googoodolly Sun 14-Jun-15 09:12:02

If he agreed to have them early (which is good), then he needs to be the one that actually looks after them. Those poor kids must feel a bit unwanted - mum goes out, so they go and stay with dad, who buggers off after an hour and leaves them with his girlfriend! That's nothing against you, OP of course, but it's not your responsibility to watch his children, especially when you haven't agreed it first.

He should have cancelled his hobby and stayed home with his children. Seeing them one afternoon a fortnight isn't much, why hasn't he jumped at the chance to spend an extra morning with them?

TSSDNCOP Sun 14-Jun-15 09:12:48

Anyone else intrigued by what these hobbies are that require immediate attendance?

Sorry to digress OP. YANBU at all.

ENormaSnob Sun 14-Jun-15 09:14:29

I would be fuming.

CoolAs10Fonzies Sun 14-Jun-15 09:15:28

googoodolly. They live with us 50/50. they go back to mums on sunday next week at 1pm.

farmerslife Sun 14-Jun-15 09:15:49

No TSS you are not alone I am dying to know as well grin

TwartFaceBeetj Sun 14-Jun-15 09:18:22

Did he get called to his hobby after he had picked up his dc? Or was it pre arranged?

Either way he should have said no to one of them.
I think I would be even more annoyed, that I'd told him I wasn't happy, but he just says sorry and buggers of out anyway.

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