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AIBU?

Fallen out with MIL over manners

565 replies

WoeIsMee · 21/05/2015 15:32

I'm really annoyed. I've NC for this.

My MIL had my children today and they've come back saying 'what' instead of 'pardon.' This is because mil told them that 'what' is correct which is clearly wrong - it's 'pardon.'

I'm really annoyed as correct manners are so important, also it's undermined me.

WIBU to ring her and tell her she's wrong and ask her to tell the children that she was wrong?

OP posts:

Report

Purplepoodle · 21/05/2015 15:33

Let it slide. As long as they say pardon at home I wouldn't worry. Just tell them u want them to say pardon

OhNoNotMyBaby · 21/05/2015 15:35

Read old thread on this here what or pardon

'What' is posher. 'Pardon' is considered non-u by those wot lead posh lives...

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 21/05/2015 15:35

Are you serious?

WoeIsMee · 21/05/2015 15:36

Why wouldn't I be serious?

OP posts:

HeffaLumpers · 21/05/2015 15:36

She is right.

Topseyt · 21/05/2015 15:37

Why is it even an issue? Depends on the tone of voice used, but I wouldn't be at all bothered

I often say either, and don't consider either to be rude or bad manners.

DidoTheDodo · 21/05/2015 15:38

I've never said "pardon" in my life and I'm still alive.

Pick your battles. (Or pay a childminder, which is way all these threads go)

MrsKCastle · 21/05/2015 15:38

Yes, YWBU! But she was also U to say 'what?' is correct. You should both be saying, 'Different people use different words. In this house we use x'.

DirectorOfBetter · 21/05/2015 15:40

I would correct my DC if they said pardon but I'd stay well out of correcting it in any grandchildren if a DIL had taught them to say it and silently judge the fuck out of her JOKE

Nolim · 21/05/2015 15:41

Yabu to feel undermined because of this.

Agree with castle, explain that not everybody says the same thing.

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2015 15:42

She's actually right.

But there's no reason why they can't be "bilingual" and say "What?" or "I beg your pardon?" in grandma's house and just "pardon?" in yours.

My children are the other way round- we're a "what?" house and grandma's a "pardon?" house!

SunnyBaudelaire · 21/05/2015 15:43

the thing is she is right, but should not be undermining you.
I could not stand to hear children saying 'p'dern? p'dern?' but each to their own.

LaurieFairyCake · 21/05/2015 15:43

Yes, 'what' is right.

'Pardon' means sorry.

AtomicDog · 21/05/2015 15:44

'what' is correct.

Topseyt · 21/05/2015 15:45

Both are correct, surely. You will make a fruit loop of yourself if you phone to complain about any such daftness.

Pick your battles. This would be a silly one to pick.

HubertCumberdale · 21/05/2015 15:45

I'm with your MIL here. 'Pardon' is a way of saying sorry, like 'pardon me' or 'I beg your pardon?'. Just saying 'pardon?' as a question is a bit... low brow?

Agree with upthread, explain that some homes have slightly different rules.

WoeIsMee · 21/05/2015 15:46

I can't believe people are saying 'what' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!

OP posts:

Summerisle1 · 21/05/2015 15:46

Pardon is as wrong to 'what' as serviette is to 'napkin'.

HTH.

dun1urkin · 21/05/2015 15:47

What is DEFINITELY right

CatthiefKeith · 21/05/2015 15:48

Wind up. I would LOVE to know who you are usually OP. Quiet day at the office?

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2015 15:48

"at' is correct! 'Pardon' is DEFINITELY right. I really think that I should tell her. She's embarrassing herself!"

Truly, really don't!

helenahandbag · 21/05/2015 15:48

I had no idea that "what" is more polite than "pardon"

I always say "pardon?" or "sorry?" if I didn't catch something the first time. I went to school with a lot of people grunting "what?" or worse, "eh?" so I don't like how it sounds, it's very abrupt.

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Gruntfuttock · 21/05/2015 15:48

Your MIL is correct, OP.

Rosieliveson · 21/05/2015 15:49

Although 'what' is technically the correct term, general usage can come across as rude. 'Pardon' is widely accepted as the social nicety.
I would just tell the children that you'd like them to say pardon or excuse me. Depending in your relationship with MIL, mentioning it could be more trouble than it's worth but correcting them in front of her would get your message across.

SunnyBaudelaire · 21/05/2015 15:49

I hate 'pardon' and 'sorry' and worst of all 'I beg your pardon' which is invariably said by eg teachers who heard very well what you said. I simply tell them that they have no need to beg....
'What' does sound a bit rude, so we say 'What did you say?'

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