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no ex dh you can't wear speedos, you've let yourself go

(162 Posts)
sazhamer Fri 21-Nov-14 21:00:02

Exdp takes dd 8 swimming regularly and all has been fine so far. Now I find out that she is being teased because he wears speedos to the pool. Aibu to think he should dress in a way that doesn't cause embarrassment? BTW he has let himself go and should not be wearing them.

LadyLuck10 Fri 21-Nov-14 21:01:27

Yanbu, sounds inappropriate anyway.

SanityClause Fri 21-Nov-14 21:03:17

All parents embarrass their children; it's our main purpose in life. If it wasn't his speedos it would be something else. Tell her to get over it.

AuntieStella Fri 21-Nov-14 21:06:30

Who is teasing her?

Even though it is likely that, if you mean he's a fat man in small trunks, I'd find the sight unappealing; it is wrong to mock someone, either directly to their face or to those closely connected to them who are likely to be upset by it. Does she have to spend time with the spiteful comentators?

JohnnyAlucard Fri 21-Nov-14 21:06:44

YANBU the average man looks ridiculous in a pair of budgie smugglers. Unless you are an olympic swimmer or diver leave the speedo's alone.

JennyOnTheBlocks Fri 21-Nov-14 21:07:10

i'd recommend you talk to DD about body shaming tbh

ShatnersBassoon Fri 21-Nov-14 21:10:40

YABU. I don't think it matters what he looks like in his trunks. Who is teasing your daughter?

Ihavenopigs Fri 21-Nov-14 21:28:30

Should fat women not wear bikinis then? And are you the one who decides? Or maybe you're suggesting that your DDs friends get to decide. You are Unreasonable and ridiculous.

Stratter5 Fri 21-Nov-14 21:33:50



Would you say that if it were a woman in a bikini? Aren't we all supposed to be celebrating our bodies in all their glorious differences?

Janethegirl Fri 21-Nov-14 21:38:44

Everyone has a body. If I was told by my DH I was too fat to wear a bikini, it would not be considered acceptable. How is this different? If he is happy wearing budgie smugglers let him do so.

Nicknacky Fri 21-Nov-14 21:40:17

ladyluck why would it be inappropriate?!

Arlagirl Fri 21-Nov-14 21:42:00

If he's overweight speedos will be very unflattering and possibly emphasise shape of his dick.

Hairtodaygonetomorrow Fri 21-Nov-14 21:43:10

My husband is very fat, should he not go in the pool with our children in case someone says something? Don't be ridiculous, unless it was a thong or something.

FreudiansSlipper Fri 21-Nov-14 21:43:28

why would any man wear speedos apart from divers they look horrible

but parents embarrass their children its part of our job

NoArmaniNoPunani Fri 21-Nov-14 21:43:28

Speedos are wrong on all men.

Nicknacky Fri 21-Nov-14 21:44:12

They are horrible but don't see why they are inappropriate!

FreudiansSlipper Fri 21-Nov-14 21:47:11

I am wondering why they are inappropriate too hmm

Starlightbright1 Fri 21-Nov-14 21:48:58

They might look awful on him but agree it isn't your place to say anything. At least he is taking her swimming.

Ericaequites Fri 21-Nov-14 21:51:46

In France, aren't speedos the only suits permitted for men in public pools? I agree they are fit only for the thin, but well mannered people don't say anything.

SaucyJack Fri 21-Nov-14 21:51:55

Just be grateful you don't have to sleep with him any more.

fluffling Fri 21-Nov-14 21:52:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VenusRising Fri 21-Nov-14 21:52:28

Going against the grain here by saying that if she's asked him to wear clothes which are more appropriate and he has stubbornly refused, I can see why he's an X of the OP.

Standing on principle is a great way of estranging his dd.

His choice if he wants to look ridiculous, but this issue isn't all about him.
Imvho he should listen to her, and think about making her life more comfortable- he's the adult, she's the child. Time to man up, and let go of the entitlement.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Fri 21-Nov-14 21:52:53

Yabu, would you think the same if a women regardless of size wore a bikini to the pool.

It's attitudes like this that meant I had a huge anxiety attack and stayed indoors most of the day.

Yesterday I did all the shopping and prepared myself to go swimming today. Bag unpacked as I just couldn't leave the house.

LadyLuck10 Fri 21-Nov-14 21:54:35

For the reason chamade described.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Fri 21-Nov-14 21:54:40

If it was my dd I would reinforce the message to be comfortable in their skin.

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