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Am I selfish about holiday

(190 Posts)
desperatedino Tue 13-May-14 16:06:23

We have a holiday booked in July to the med for me, DH, and our 3 DC.

I have been looking forward to this in ages as we really don't spend much family time together.

DH has just announced that SIL is going to be joining us, all this was arranged without my consent, I told DH I was hoping it could be just us and he went off on one completely saying I was selfish and it's his holiday too.

I don't dislike SIL but she is a drama queen and caused a row when she came away with us before.

So AIBU to just want us on holiday?

thatstoast Fri 01-Aug-14 09:07:23

I don't think it's a zombie thread when the op comes back to update, albeit 3 months later.

bruffin Fri 01-Aug-14 09:16:54

The op didnt come back 3 months later, she updated a month later and someone chose to resurrect it 6 weeks later

AnnoyedByAlfieBear Fri 01-Aug-14 09:19:41

Even if it is half zombie, I want to know how the holiday went?

patienceisvirtuous Fri 01-Aug-14 09:23:52

So not a zombie thread grin

Blueandwhitelover Sat 02-Aug-14 11:15:13

Darn it, I was hoping for an update

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 02-Aug-14 11:34:02

Hope the OP is ok anyhow? wine

desperatedino Wed 20-Aug-14 22:32:31

Hi all thought I would update.

well all was going well until day 2 of the holiday. SIL declared she was bored and we werent staying up late enough for her. She also wanted Dh to go out partying with her at 2am while myself and children stayed in. Dh had enought at this point and told her he was on a family holiday and would not be leaving us alone.

I also took the children out for the day and told him I was going on the next flight home if he did not sort it out. Returned later that day and Sil apologised and tried to be nice. It was so exhausting though making sure everybody was happy with all the plans each day.

Now we are back at home I am still angry and resentful about my holiday being ruined. Dh has apologised so much and under no uncertain terms noone is ever coming with us ever again. I told him this would happen and I was right.

Now we

desperatedino Wed 20-Aug-14 22:33:43

Sorry about spellings on my dodgy phone.

cherrybombxo Thu 21-Aug-14 12:41:19

Wow, she had the cheek to complain that you weren't doing what SHE wanted on YOUR holiday that she crashed? She sounds delightful.

I could almost understand what your DH did if he was inviting another couple, who could go off and do their own thing but to invite one person to third-wheel on your family holiday is so weird. Even weirder that she wanted to.

I'm sorry that your holiday was ruined but the silver lining is you get to say, "HA! Told you so!" to your DH...

Lymmmummy Thu 21-Aug-14 13:27:47

To be honest - like many family disputes (I have been in middle of plenty both with own in laws and with friends complaints) I find it's often husbands fault for not being clear with expectations - ie he should not have encouraged SIL to join you without discussing it with you - and then as men often do he tries to make you feel like you have been the selfish one for not being welcoming - anyway sounds like she pushed him too far this time. When will men learn bad situations don't go away just because you ignore them??

FetchezLaVache Thu 21-Aug-14 13:43:54

OP, I feel your pain! Every year, my DSis and I take DS and our brother's two boys camping. This year, our former DSIL (the boys' mum) decided she was coming too.

Even though we both love DExSIL and get on really well with her, it totally changed the dynamic. There was lots of moaning about the inconveniences of tents (I mean really, did she expect an en-suite?) and no sitting up drinking wine after the boys had gone to bed. Completely ruined our holiday.

She's not bloody coming ever again, even if she wants to!

Glad your husband's learnt his lesson. Shame it had to be at the expense of your lovely holiday, though.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Thu 21-Aug-14 13:51:35

I'm really sorry your holiday was spoiled, but in the long run I think good will come of it. It made life difficult, your SIL was rude and overstepped the mark, your DH has realised this. I don't think he's likely to make the same mistake again, and you can just avoid her.

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 21-Aug-14 14:14:03

Well, I'm glad your DH has seen the error of his ways! Sorry it spoiled your holiday though. Your SIL sounds like a brat though, whinging about a holiday she gatecrashed. What on earth did she expect a family holiday with kids to be like?

pictish Thu 21-Aug-14 14:25:12

I hope he's eaten a great big slice of humble pie! There was so much upset over his insistence that she come, calling you selfish and threatening you with cancelling if he didn't get his way and so on...he acted like a complete shit over it!
And now oh ho - big surprise...she was a pain in the arse whose presence totally marred the longed for holiday. Just as you accurately foretold.

I suppose it's ultimately a good thing, as you'll not have to have that argument again.
But still...shame you had to go through it for him to understand it. What a stubborn idiot he is.

Inertia Thu 21-Aug-14 14:57:08

Sorry your holiday was spoiled.

Hope your DH has apologised for the shitty way he treated you before the holiday as well.

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