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to hate this desciption of David Tennants family?

(109 Posts)
Bogeyface Sun 27-Oct-13 22:31:14

I have noticed that it has happened to Dawn French and Lenny Henry too, but reading about DT earlier prompted me to post.

Reading an article about his new TV series and it said that he was a father of 2 with his wife and "adoptive father" of her eldest child. So......father of 3 then?

DF and LH have always been described as having an adopted child, rather than having a child. Why?

A family is a family regardless of how it comes about and emotionally and legally DT is that childs father, so why make the distinction? Who's business is it and really, who cares?

AIBU to think that the media should stop doing this as it fosters the belief that an adopted child is somehow different from a biological child. In this age of blended families, it seems especially ridiculous to make distinctions.

Devora Wed 30-Oct-13 14:04:19

Green Velvet, I'm sure you are not adopted or an adopter or you would realise the implications of your post. It is of course true that adopted children affect family dynamics and that genes count. But that's true of everybody, isn't it? Your post only makes sense as an explanation of this kind of journalism if we believe that the way adopted children affect family dynamics and the kind of genes these children bring are understood by us all.

In other words, you are saying that adopted children are trouble. Which chimes perfectly with what an awful lot of people say, often to our faces and in front of our kids.

So you'll find some of us a little sensitive on the issue. This is my child. She is not a bolt-on, a dynamic or a ticking time bomb. She does?how ever, have a lot to deal with in terms of being seen as 'different' by the outside world and constant little reminders that she is not considered fully valid or valued are fantastically unhelpful.

usuallyright Wed 30-Oct-13 14:29:32

I hate this distinction.
Adopted children are the same as bio children; they're your children, end of. No need for separate distinction.
I also hate the term 'half brother/sister' because you share the same mother but different father, or other way around. They're your sister or your brother, not a half brother/sister.

insomniagirl Mon 07-Jul-14 04:20:08

Name changing from real name because I work in TV and don't want to get in trouble.

In principle I agree it's loathsome to single out adopted children. But I wonder if the press are making a point. Like how so many articles about Hugh Bonneville make really pointed comments about what a devoted family man he is, wink wink nudge nudge. Some celebs have adopted kids and the press don't bring it up all the time. Both Tom and Nicole and Dawn and Lenny's relationships were known to the tabloids to be troubled and that Tom Cruise was a weirdo Cultist years before they split. In David Tennant's case, great actor but weird personal life. I don't get the obsessively private stuff. I mean she's posting pics of him in his undies on her FB while he's making her walk ten paces behind him so they aren't photographed together and walking out on interviewers just for mentioning her name!

They only started living together a couple of months before she gave birth, and there was a video on YouTube at one point of David unaware he was being filmed talking about how shocked he was when she told him she was pregnant. I'm not judging, lots of happy marriage including my own started from an accidental pregnancy. They conceived another child shortly after they married so it must have worked for them some at least. But there are lots of rumours, maybe tabloid BS, but a lot of talk about them having split up or their marriage being more of an arrangement than a real marriage. The Canadian press published photos of him (he moved to Canada for 6 months to film some TV show, his wife and kids stayed in the UK) labelled David Tennant and his girlfriend Sarah. Innocent photos but there have been rumours about him dating a woman named Sarah since last year.

David legally adopted his wife's son, but Georgia's ex-partner Adam who's also a TV actor (not the son's biological father, but the man who raised him from infancy) has joint physical custody. Georgia's said in loads of interviews they all consider Adam to be the boy's real dad and that he's the man he calls dad. So David might be his legal father, but emotionally and in practical terms he might not be. Or he might consider them both his dads jointly. Adoption and blended families can be really complex and we don't have adequate language for it yet. Personally I think it's great he adopted the boy. But it's pretty shitty that she had to go through most of her pregnancy with their daughter alone and then he buggered off to another country for half a year with a tiny baby at home. Georgia deserves a bloody medal for it.

insomniagirl Mon 07-Jul-14 04:22:43

Oh shit! Sorry I thought this thread was on page 2. Not sure how I did that. Blame the sodding don't work but make me a zombie (irony!) anyway bloody sleeping pills for that.

Name changing now.

JPenny Thu 10-Jul-14 00:54:56

Message deleted by MNHQ at the OP's request.

Expatmomma Thu 10-Jul-14 05:52:26

Speaking as an adult who was adopted at the age of 6 weeks... The use of the word is hurtful to a child.

In the 70s parents who had adopted were told by the adoption agencies to introduce their child as their "adoptive child".

Everytime I heard that as a young child I felt like a 2nd class citizen and that I had been kicked in the stomach.

It would make me feel I was not as worthy or important as non adopted children.

So yes I totally agree that you are not being unreasonable.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Thu 10-Jul-14 07:35:26

What is joint physical custody? It's not a thing in this country. There is shared care, or regular contact with a NRP. IF THE CHILD CONTINUES TO HAVE CONTACT WITH HIS STEPDAD oops caps that's a good thing but doesn't negate DT being his dad. Remember the whole family will have been assessed prior to the adoption order and if the child already had a dad figure who the whole family considered the dad the adoption wouldn't have been approved as that would be too weird and confusing for the child.

GoodgriefGBhasinvaded Thu 17-Jul-14 02:26:43

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 17-Jul-14 02:47:47

small Canadian town? It's a city and the capital of the Province, don't you know? We loved having DT here BTW. We all stalked him but to no avail.

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