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to think if you do the fun stuff you should attend the duty stuff aswell.

(213 Posts)
missmapp Sat 10-Nov-12 19:25:04

Ds1 goes to Beavers, it is a lovely group and they do lots of fun events, camp fires, night time walks, activity days, visits to lots of exciting places- these are always well attended. As it is Rememberance Sunday tomorrow , they have been asked to go to the Church Parade.

I wasn't sure of the time, so phoned a few other Mum's- all have said their ds does not want to go, so they won't be attending. Now Ds normally goes to football on a Sunday morning, but I have told him he needs to go to the service as it is part of being a Beaver. It saddens me that lots turn up to the fun things, but this will be a low turn out ( as it was last year-only 2my ds and 2 others)

So, AIBU ?

VirginiaDare Sat 10-Nov-12 19:29:42

Maybe they aren't religious, or have other things to do. Just because you go to a club one night a week doesn't mean you have to anything they are involved with any day of the week. Why would non-church goers go to church?

ellenjames Sat 10-Nov-12 19:29:54

yanbu i hate this! People should show more respect, and teach their children too!! My 2 beavers are going and the rest of us are too, to the whole thing x

missmapp Sat 10-Nov-12 19:32:17

VirginiaDare- I realise some may not want to go to church , but ds has something else to do- but he won't be doing it. Now if we had a pre booked weekend away, fair enough, but these mum's just said their ds's don't want to go- that is what is annoying me.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Sat 10-Nov-12 19:32:54


DS2 always went when he was a Beaver. He was the flag bearer one year.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sat 10-Nov-12 19:33:30

YANBU. Beavers / scouts are a Christian based organisation and parents should be accepting of that, and supportive of the activities that are happening.

Our troop aren't going as far as I'm aware, not sure why.

ChippyMinton Sat 10-Nov-12 19:38:35

YANBU. It's a couple of hours out of the entire year.
Round here most sports teams don't arrange fixtures for Remembrance Sunday, as so many players are in cubs/beavers/scouts etc and make the commitment to attend.

44SoStartingOver Sat 10-Nov-12 19:41:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janey68 Sat 10-Nov-12 19:45:20

YANBU. When you sign up to something then you should commit to it properly, not have a pick n mix approach, which simply teaches children that life is about taking the bits they like and opting out of the bits they Dont like

lucjam Sat 10-Nov-12 19:46:22

YANBU, my DS is a beaver too he will be going (we go to church every week anyway so makes no difference). I agree it is a Christian organisation, therefore if you don't agree with that for whatever reason and then in turn won't go to any of the church parades then don't join. Simple.

theoriginalandbestrookie Sat 10-Nov-12 19:48:21

Kind of with you on this one.

DS attended the remembrance service on Friday evening - he has joined Beavers recently.

However I hadn't given much thought when I received the initial email ( particularly as the only member of our family who fought in WW2 was on the German side blush not by choice but by virtue of being Latvian and forced too) It was only when I spoke to one of the other Mums who used to be a Beaver leader that I realised the significance of the event for the beavers etc so thats when I made sure he should go.

Parents don't necessarily realise that there is a christian element to Beavers and Scouts as its not really presented in that way any more. It might be helpful for parents to have a bit of literature around the aims and expectations when you sign your child up for it - waiting lists are so high round here that they could dictate that the children had to attend the service if they wanted.

FellowshipOfFestiveFellows Sat 10-Nov-12 19:48:30

I was a brownie and a guide, my captain would have had a fit if we had not turned up for parade. We weren't there for religious purposes, we were there as we were based in the church hall. Do they not still go on about doing their duty to god, queen and country in the taps then? The promise thing, I mean we called it taps. Yanbu, as an ex guide that's my opinion anyway!

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud Sat 10-Nov-12 19:49:15


Church parade (and Remembrance Day service for groups that participate in that) are part of being a Beaver. If you want a group with no connection to church, there are plenty of alternatives.

MontBlanc Sat 10-Nov-12 19:50:10

YANBU and it's giving the wrong message to children that they can renege on their commitment to a group just because they 'don't like' something or 'don't feel like it'.

There will be many things in life that need to be done/attended that won't be fun, but we need to teach our children life isn't always about only doing the things that we find fun and sometimes we must do things that benefit others more than ourselves.

missmapp Sat 10-Nov-12 19:51:39

Thank you all.

Fellowship, I too was a guide and would have been skinned alive by my leader if I had missed a service ( I still remember the look she gave me when I turned up in a denim skirt one year!- shudder)

I agree it teaches values of commitment, respect and loyalty, so have no qualms in ensure ds attends.

missmapp Sat 10-Nov-12 19:52:33

ensuring , even !

Wheresmycaffeinedrip Sat 10-Nov-12 19:52:50

Yanbu. I was in brownies and guides and I went to all these things. As above it's all part of it. As u said you can't just do the fun stuff.

CitizenOscar Sat 10-Nov-12 19:53:30

I think YABU. When I was younger, I was a Guide (because my friends were & it was quite fun). As a non-Christian I never had any intention of going to church parade. We used to get a bollocking at the session after each church parade because no one went but that was still better than making me (& my non-Christian parents) turn up to church and sit through a boring service that meant nothing to us. Activities etc teach new skills and are fun - AND ARE WHAT PEOPLE JOIN THESE GROUPS FOR. Church would have meant nothing to me and would have been a waste of time, in my opinion then & now.

BackforGood Sat 10-Nov-12 19:55:18

and actually, mine have always found the services really interesting (they used ot have to stand outside in the freezing cold for an hour as their group went to the local British Legion and the service was outside, by the memorial, not in some warm Church. They found having the veterans there made it somehow more real I think, and of course were fascinated by the medals.

treadonthecracks Sat 10-Nov-12 19:55:51

I'm with you - DS beaver and DD brownie are going.

lljkk Sat 10-Nov-12 19:56:56

I suppose it depends on group; DS scout group made it clear on joining that Remembrance Day & St. George services were compulsory attendance. I'd tongue lash DS if he tried to duck out.

DD's guides has no such strictures, DD has chance to go & says she will, I leave it up to her.

scottishmummy Sat 10-Nov-12 19:57:52

if you want activity group join viasport centre or pay per session group
if you join beavers,you know the expectation,and the christian associations
actually I agree it's respectful to observe minute silence,and we aren't in any group

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 10-Nov-12 19:58:20

YANBU dd is a Brownie and we always go to Brownie parade at church.

We are not particularly religious but i agree if you commit to go, you commit to all aspects of it.

DD is often the only one there.

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud Sat 10-Nov-12 19:58:20

I should have said that I am a Brownie leader. Something I have learnt from MN is that Scouting takes a much tougher line on things like church parade attendance than Guiding does.

BeatTheClock Sat 10-Nov-12 19:59:07

Yanbu. All of mine have attended these parades no matter what the weather when they were Beavers, Cubs and Scouts.

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