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To believe that for every awful mil story there is, there is an awful dil story.

(64 Posts)
glotheblo Sat 20-Aug-11 19:32:48

I know a lot of the mums out there have a story to tell regarding their mils but I bet there just as many mils with scary dil stories or are they over on gransnet, I have been a dil and now i am a mil and have a got a few tales to tell.
Here is an example, my nearly dil was invited for christmas lunch, but she said that she had to visit her family (parents divorced, murderous animosity from both) so I agreed to put the meal time back 3hrs to suit her and ds, she arrived an hour late, I ignored her bad manners and everybody sat down and I started to serve when I enquired what she would like from the sumptuous feast, she declared, "oh nothing for me I have already eaten".
Still has no idea how close she came to wearing that jug of gravy.

AttillaTheMum Sat 20-Aug-11 19:34:05

disagree. my MIL is a narc. YABU

ragged Sat 20-Aug-11 19:35:30

Many of the looney SIL stories on MN are also crazy DIL stories.
Must admit I lurve crazy-inlaw stories blush.

LolaRennt Sat 20-Aug-11 19:36:15

YANBU and in fact most stories we hear here could probably be told from the MILs angle about how how dil is a massive cow.

I do think it is a hard relationship to juggle, mother of sons probably do feel more left out than mothers of daughters.

FellatioNelson Sat 20-Aug-11 19:36:25

I do a nice line SIL stories. grin I think SIL's cop it on here more than MILs actually, but yes, you are right. I often wonder about that future step MIL whose email was published in the papers a few weeks agao, and wonder just how bad things must have got for her to need to vent so much bile in that email.

TidyDancer Sat 20-Aug-11 19:37:11

Absolutely agree. A wonderful and adorable elderly lady that I know has the DIL from hell. Nasty piece of work. Worse than any MIL I've come across.

I don't think that story was all that bad though. She was rude, but perhaps it was more of a misunderstanding than anything.

bibbitybobbityhat Sat 20-Aug-11 19:38:15

Of course!

What on earth do you mean Attilla?

Mollydoggerson Sat 20-Aug-11 19:40:11

Live and learn don't invite her next year or else just sit down and have your meal on time and if she doesn't want food don't worry about it.

Surely you can understand it was Christmas day for your dil too and she already had to split her time between her acrimonious parents. She was trying to meet her obligations to her parents and you. Perhaps it would be better to invite her over on St. Stephen's day/boxing day. Or invite her for after dinner drinks.

I think you are being a little unreasonable.

For reasons like this we have our Christmas dinner at home in our own house.

Sewmuchtodo Sat 20-Aug-11 19:40:30

YANBU at all! I am a dil and a sil and im sure they all have a few choice words to say about me......

For me its my BIL. bil once called and asked to speak to HIS brother about HIS brothers wedding (I was the bride!).

catgirl1976 Sat 20-Aug-11 19:42:09

YABU. My MIL is totally off the scale. I am perfect.

AttillaTheMum Sat 20-Aug-11 19:42:49

my mil is a narcassist so she is unreasonable alot. It is rare that there are two sides to a story when she is involved.

Spuddybean Sat 20-Aug-11 19:47:39

My mil is 'you couldn't make it up' outrageous. A 'banned me from her house for insulting their xmas tree (i didn't) and re-ordering our carpet without our consent' loon!

so to me YABU smile

catgirl1976 Sat 20-Aug-11 19:48:39

My MIL had DH exorcised when he was 7. She has got worse not better since then.

fedupofnamechanging Sat 20-Aug-11 19:48:44

YANBU. Stands to reason that for every pita mil, there is a pita dil out there too.

I like having things my own way. I rather suspect that my mil does too. Sometimes only one of us is going to get what they want. I strongly believe that for all the moaning I have done (here and to my own friends/ family), she has moaned equally to her own friends and family.

I guess if you've been used to having things much as you want them and then along comes a dil, who is also used to getting things much as she wants them, there is bound to be a clash.

blackeyedsusan Sat 20-Aug-11 19:51:28

there are nasty unreasonable people all over. some of them will be mils, some sils and some dils. i am sure there are lot of mums aand daughters who are unreasonable too.

op that wasn't too bad a story... depends on what reasons she had for being delayed, and whether she has "form" a phonecall should have happened though, and I can imagine you were very peeved at the time.

I think having to visit inlaws on christmas day leads to a lot of stress. Christmas in your own home should come morer highly recommended.

blackeyedsusan Sat 20-Aug-11 19:56:01

... and having Christmas in my own home probably makes mil think I am being a pain too. wink

Booandpops Sat 20-Aug-11 19:57:11

Every awful dil is in training to be the awful mil of the future :D

LydiaWickham Sat 20-Aug-11 20:01:51

I have a lovely MIL. I do, however, have a 'challenging' SIL. Since BIL's wedding planning sagas and the full on bridezillaness on show, PIL think I'm truely, truely fabulous. <preen>

glotheblo Sat 20-Aug-11 20:02:13

That christmas was the first time I saw what a rude bitch she was, my other ds had worked with her and was surprised that i had even invited her, 10yrs later she has got much worse, she is now my dgd mother and would snatch her away in a hearbeat if only my little gd didnt love us as much she does, that little tale was the tip of the iceberg.
This girl takes rudeness to a whole other level
nope dont think iabu regarding invitation, thankfully for the sake of my family my son did not get married to her

LydiaWickham Sat 20-Aug-11 20:03:03

oh, and I'm sure SIL thinks her ILs are awful, without realising the carnage/heart ache her behaviour causes.

Andrewofgg Sat 20-Aug-11 20:03:39

I spent years playing Duke of Windsor to my DM's Queen Mary and my DW's Mrs Simpson. They just could not get on well, and they both tried. I loved them both (DM now dead) but every visit was a bit of a nightmare.

I was seriously ill (cancer does not mess about) a couple of years before DM died and that seemed to cause a thaw. Personally I would have preferred to have remained healthy and let the frost go on but I did not get the choice!

Anyway, all you DILs, MILs, and even SILs, remember the poor bugger stuck in the middle. He's known his mother all his life and he knew his siblings before he knew his DW/DP too!

HowlingBitch Sat 20-Aug-11 20:05:57

Catgirl!

Why on earth did she do that?

catgirl1976 Sat 20-Aug-11 20:09:16

He was behaving badly (not wanting to go to school) so she decided he must have been possessed by the devil hmm and got someone round to perform an exorcism (as you do). He remembers being terrified. sad This is in the UK too - I was surprised you could get people to do that but.......

It didn't work oddly enough......

She certainly has some "issues" and is a "challenging" MIL

<grits teeth so hard they nearly break>

Andrewofgg Sat 20-Aug-11 20:10:58

catgirl1976 the phrase that comes to my mind is stark, staring bonkers.

AurraSing Sat 20-Aug-11 20:11:04

If the worst thing she did was arrive late for Christmas dinner, ten years ago I don't think the relationship was that bad.
Batgirl, tell us more of the exocism shock

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