To believe that for every awful mil story there is, there is an awful dil story.

[glotheblo]

I know a lot of the mums out there have a story to tell regarding their mils but I bet there just as many mils with scary dil stories or are they over on gransnet, I have been a dil and now i am a mil and have a got a few tales to tell.
Here is an example, my nearly dil was invited for christmas lunch, but she said that she had to visit her family (parents divorced, murderous animosity from both) so I agreed to put the meal time back 3hrs to suit her and ds, she arrived an hour late, I ignored her bad manners and everybody sat down and I started to serve when I enquired what she would like from the sumptuous feast, she declared, "oh nothing for me I have already eaten".
Still has no idea how close she came to wearing that jug of gravy.

Wow, if my son chose to spend 10 years with someone who is supposedly such a bitch, I'd feel a bit of a flunky as a mum for his having such appalling taste.

there are some awful daughters in law on here

really selfish and bitchy

i would be really upset if my sons wives treated me half as badly as some of those treat their inlaws. Mind you they are so nasty I sincerely doubt they will stay married that long, who could put up with that behaviour over a long term :(

And awful mils. Awful people everywhere, not just dils.

I haven't got any horror stories of my own, which I am eternally grateful for, but I've heard a lot. It mostly seems to be mothers, sons and DIL which have the most trouble. I always remember my mum making my brothers do the laundry, and when they complained "No woman will thank me for not teaching you how to look after yourselves".

I know the MIL is a comedy staple but mostly from men about their wives mothers. Women find their own mothers exasperating too; so I don't get this sense that the MIL/DIL relationship is especially fraught. I certainly don't worry about being a MIL or being "left out" in the future.

My MIL has looked after the kids, driven 100 miles to help me cope with a D&V baby when DH was away, lavished us with gifts for the boys, taken me to spas.... what's not to like!! She's a diamond.

My mum is a good MIL, says DP (apart from the golliwog issue and other minor silliness, usually generational) in that she never interferes, doesn't undermine our decisions and while she enjoys looking after DD, doesn't demand to do so. (Totally the opposite of her mum, my grandmother who thought it was her right to meddle constantly.)

ive had my moans about mil, she can be nosy gossipy and interfering but nothing to the levels of some thank god. i have to give her massive praise this week tho, DP had a massive falling out with me over nothing and didnt speak to me for 2 days, every single time he phoned mil she was giving him agro about my being 300 miles away with DD and pg with DS how dare he be such an ignorant bastard to take his mood out on me etc etc all whilst phoning me twice a day to see how i was and the kids too, he eventually called and he apologised - well got shouted down by me - but i put it all down to him getting a firm talking to from his mum :)

I admit it,i am probably an awful DIL, but i am a nice person in all other scenarios, with every one else in the world.

I just have ishoos with my pil that i just cant seem to get over. 18 years down the line.

When the time comes, when am forced to spend time with then through ill health etc, i will be sweetness & light, but just now, i feel pissed off by them.
Its never discussed, its just there...they dont like me, i dont like them. There has never been any arguments or fallings out....but i know & they know.
weird!

I am a horrendous dil apparently. Took my husband away to live in a foreign country nothing to do with his job at all.

gonzo - feel for you. I took my DH "up North" which is so remote and inaccessible (a whole 2 hour train ride) that his DS has never been able to make the journey in 16 years, my MIL has managed it twice though, but she acted like bloody Shackleton each time.................we are expected to pop down all the time though. It is obviously much shorter in that direction

bigun 1 - are you me?

Things were great with my IL's when I was young and didn't have dc and was quite happy to fall in with whatever they wanted. But there came a point (when I had a baby), where I wanted to be in control of my own family and not spend every Sunday in their house or have them in my house for hours on end, because they had lots of free time. I didn't want them to take over with my dc, the way fils parents had taken over with dh, when he was a child.

If that makes me a terrible dil, then I have to accept that. I've never stopped mil from seeing and spending lots of time with her dgc - they are all entitled to that relationship and it has nothing to do with me, but under the surface, it bubbles - the feeling that she tolerates me because I am married to her son.

I wish I could have felt about her the way I do about my mother. I just don't. I accept that I am easily irritated, but do feel that my mil wants her own way as much as I want mine and where we clash, I'm afraid I'm going to go with what makes me happy. Mil would, given the chance.

Karma i agree with going with what makes you happy, thats what i do and i find the easiest way of acheiving this is to avoid them.
Despite them living 15 minutes away, i see them twice a year tops.

Dh takes ds if he is going passed their house, other than that nothing.

They never ask about me....but i always ask about them as they are a bit daft and dh tells me daft stuff they do, its entertaining.