The REAL Mumsnet Rules

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

No bumsex on a Wednesday

[SarahStratton]

Why? What's wrong with Wednesdays?

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

Fridays only I'm afraid. Them's the rules.

No hugs unless qualified with 'un-MN'

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

oh PUH-LEASE.
Can we PLEASE have a moratorium on bumsex. Yewwwwwww. Anal is so much better sounding.

Really.

Roll both round your mouth and see if you don't agree.

(mind you, since having a 'posterior rectocele' a few months back, either are off the menu and will remain thus )

Um. I think I'm drunk. Sorry.

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

You like the sound of anal?

You rule?

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

I rule what? Sorry, I really do think I'm a bit squiffy and don't get it.

If it's a toss up between 'bumsex' and 'anal sex' then it's anal. Sorry, but there it is!! Or isn't. In my case

[AfternoonDelight]

At least not on a Wednesday.

[HeIsSpartacus]

Hugs are not really un-Mumsnetty as such. They're just used sparingly.

My hugs cannot be anti-branded. And I will dispense them as I see fit. Big up the Hug Revolution.

[SarahStratton]

I prefer bumsex.

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

I meant your rule, sorry!

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

No flouncing after being told unanimously YABU.

[TattyDevine]

Anyway, its Friday

[AtYourCervix]

Do Not Call Me Hun!

or touch me.

Or offer me any form of Hug.

[Whatmeworry]

No flouncing after being told unanimously YABU

To flounce properly you need a small group of acolytes who wear your sackcloth and ashes, mourn, rend the air with their cries and implore you to return.

[AfternoonDelight]

Hang on, hang on, do I have to have bumsex on a Friday? Or is it optional?

[AgentZigzag]

Never, and I repeat never, ask if you're being unreasonable unless you're 100% sure you're not.

[AgentZigzag]

Oh.

Did I misunderstand the question?

What's that about bumsex?

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

Definitely optional. Ask those ladies in feminism. "No is a complete sentence" (or phrase, or something).

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

No, you got it right Agent.

[LoopyLoopsTootyFroots]

No selecting words or symbols that mask the fact that you want to swear like a sweary swearing swearer.

[MmeLindor.]

If you don't like the word cunt, go to Netmums

[EuphemiaMcGonagall]

Have a professional proofreader check your posts for typos, misspellings, misuse of punctuation, tautologies, non sequiturs and otherwise impeccable grammar prior to submission.

[thenightsky]

Anal definitely rolls off the tongue better than bum.

[MmeLindor.]

Euphemia
I forgot the quotation marks around "cunt"

Sorry.

[EuphemiaMcGonagall]

Ensure that you provide photographic evidence of gross medical conditions before you start whinging that it's sore.

[EuphemiaMcGonagall]