Advanced search

Anyone had a baby at 44 or 45 yrs? What is it like?

(72 Posts)
Hope88 Tue 21-Jun-11 16:15:45

Hi I would like to know what it's like to have a baby at 44 or 45. Was it just too tiring? Did you regret it later? I am thinking about it but am really scared of sleepless nights. It really depressed me at 35 so might just push me too far at 45? Or is it not much diffirence as having a baby is always tiring???
Please tell me your story. Thank you smile

CoffeeDog Tue 21-Jun-11 17:18:49

My mum had me and my sister at 43 - dad is a good few years younger smile

Personally i remember she didn't 'do' the same things as my best friends mum (who was 20yrs younger) but we did different things ie sticking coluring or if we went to the park we would run about and mum would watch from the bench etc...

She does say now that she wishes she had us younger as she says she is too old for the grandchildren as oposed to DH mum who had him at 18 (married at 16) in fact my mum is only 11mth younger than DH nan smile

If your fit and healtly have the money time and patience why not?

Hope88 Wed 22-Jun-11 09:45:01

Thank you coffeeDog.

voituredepompier Wed 22-Jun-11 09:50:25

I had my DS at just shy of 42, you get sleepless nights regardless of your age but it doesn't last forever (just seems like it at the time!). If I was lucky enough to get pregnant again, my age now (44) wouldn't bother me.

But I think I am pretty fit and mamage to keep up with people half my age!

Lemonylemon Wed 22-Jun-11 11:04:53

I had my DD when I was 44.5. (The .5 is very important, you understand ;))

No regrets whatsoever. I had a perfect pregnancy, and although I had to have an emergency CS, I got over it fairly quickly and was driving 2.5 weeks later (through necessity, not choice). DD is now 3, the baby days went by so quickly this time. I don't have as much energy as I used to, but I don't do too badly!

mufti Wed 22-Jun-11 11:09:23

had ds at 44yr, 9m,
fairly trouble - free pg, anaemic, low placenta, it moved.
no tests , he went through night from 6 weeks, i may be exceptionally lucky.

BalloonSlayer Wed 22-Jun-11 11:09:29

I had my third DC at 43. I don't feel any more tired than when I had the others (was 35 and 37 when I had them) or, for that matter, any more tired than I have ever been before DCs. Apart from today. Because I am tired today. But that's just today.

cwtch4967 Wed 22-Jun-11 11:23:33

Had dd1 at 37 and ds1 at 40 - it is tiring! I would have had children in my 20s if things had gone to plan but it wasn't to be, I do find lack of sleep hard to deal with but I'm calmer and more chilled than I was in my 20s and better able to cope! DS has autism and didn't sleep through at all until he was 3 - he would be up at 3am!!! It's not as bad now thankfully but I find it hard when I'm tired. I woke up in a cold sweat this morning after a dream I was heavily pregnant - I would not want any more now at 44 Dh has had the snip!!

EldritchCleavage Wed 22-Jun-11 11:24:16

I am 43 and pregnant, working full time with a 2 year old.

I get tired, but not excessively so I think. Like my first pregnancy, this one has (so far) been entirely trouble-free. Doctors and midwives generally comment on how well I look.

I was probably less fit in my 20s, but I've no doubt if I'd had children in my thirties, it would have been easier still. Even so, I was still going to the gym for the first 8 months of my last pregnancy, and felt very well throughout ( no time for that now, sadly).

When not pregnant I am fit and strong, well able to run around around the park with DS, pick him up and do all the rough and tumble he likes.

What I will say is that as an older mother I do feel a duty to stay fit and strong for my children so they don't miss out in the future or feel anxiety about me and my state of health. I plan on being the fittest sexagenarian in town.

celadon Wed 22-Jun-11 11:27:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

celadon Wed 22-Jun-11 11:30:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StyleandBooty Wed 22-Jun-11 11:34:12

I had dd at 45; ds was nearly 7, which meant I wasn't chasing around after a toddler as well as a newborn. I was tired nonetheless, and remain tired, 'cos she was and is a rubbish sleeper (4 yo now!!). I b/fed on demand, which was a factor I suppose.

It is the luck of the draw though - my ds slept beautifully.

ShangriLaLaLa Wed 22-Jun-11 11:34:12

Me, at 45. My pregnancy was fraught with (unfounded) worry - I didn't enjoy it because I let the 'what if's' take over. But DS was, and is, fine. Parenting is so much easier this time round. And everyone assumes that I'm much, much younger than I am, with a baby in tow. It's like portable, natural botox. (in my dreams)

celadon Wed 22-Jun-11 11:37:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2BoysTooLoud Wed 22-Jun-11 11:39:29

I was a a brush stroke off 43 with my second. Looking at younger mums at school gate I think [touch wood ] I compare ok fitness wise. My toddler a little sod at night so I look a bit creased and tired first thing!

Blu Wed 22-Jun-11 11:41:42

I had DS at 43 - all very trouble-free, and I didn't feel noticeably tired, no more than I see other people during the months of broken nights. I didn't feel as if my age was a factor, really.

montysma1 Wed 22-Jun-11 11:54:44

I am currently pregnant at 45. Not planned.I had twins at 42.

Twin pregnancy was fine, no morning sickness, no health problems, no tiredness. Rearing them has so far been fairly easy, not particularly exhausting, inspite of all the o my god how do you cope stuff. I run a business and of necessity was working again soon after their birth, whilst caring for them full time. I was back out running within weeks, did a half marathon 3 months after.

I make no claims to be super woman. I'm just a normal fit 45 year old. Thats the point, its 45 not 85. There is absolutely no reason for a 45 year old to find the whole thing more tiring than a 20 year old, other than everybody telling you will be exhausted. Its a state of mind.

I found my 21 year old niece prostrate on the sofa after minding them for 3 hours. For heaven sake, how could it possibly be that exhausting?

This time around, again, no sickness, no tiredness, however I am only 10 weeks and have not been scanned as yet, so only time will tell how it will all pan out.

However, I do not anticipate collapsing with exhaustion and being unable to cope due to my advanced decreptitude.

Ragwort Wed 22-Jun-11 11:59:08

I didn't experience any physical problems in being pregnant at 43 and wasn't any more tired/exhausted that the average mum - however emotionally I find it hard, ten years on, being a mum to a 10 year old. When I compare my lifestyle to those of my friends in their early 50s - hanging around on the touch line of a football match is not exactly how I planned to spend my Saturdays grin.

TakeMeDrunkImHome Wed 22-Jun-11 12:05:36

Not me, but my sister is about to have her fourth, she is 43, has a 17 yo, 14 yo and 8 yo. Was planned and she will be more than fine, she has more energy than me and im ten years younger hmm

MimiSam Wed 22-Jun-11 13:09:29

I had my first at 41 and my second at 45 - best thing that ever happened to me! The second pregnancy, particularly, was trouble free, the birth was relatively easy and she was a great sleeper as a baby, so I wasn't too tired. Now, as i approach 50 and am positively menopausal, I do get very irritable and shout at them rather more than I think I would if I was younger and not so hormonal...but I am hoping to emerge out of the other side a calmer nicer person before too much damage is done... And I comfort myself with the thought that if I had had them a decade or so earlier, they would be teenagers and I would be menopausal at the same time...!

Triggles Wed 22-Jun-11 13:27:22

I had my first at 20, and last at 43 (almost 44). Although I had some health issues (hip problems, gestational diabetes) with the last two, I can't say overall that it was worse due to age. I wouldn't have any more now that I'm approaching 46, but there are other factors at play as well (plus we have plenty of children now LOL and don't wish to have any more!), so it's not just the age that is an issue.

I think you just have to remember that medical problems can occur at any age, and that pregnancy and that first year of a baby's life can be exhausting at any age. When I was 20, I spent the first 3-4 months knocking myself out trying to make sure the house was still spotless and organised perfectly, so I was rushing around like made when the baby was sleeping trying to get everything done, and not sleeping much at all. Obviously, that was a recipe for disaster!! The GP told me I needed to relax and not worry so much that everything was perfectly in order. (Gosh, wouldn't he be proud of how laid back I am now? grin Okay, perhaps too far the other way now!! hmm)

When I was 20, I worried about different things, I think. You just never think anything bad will happen, IYSWIM. When you're older, I think you're more aware of those things (or at least I was) and perhaps a bit more alert to little dangers, but then more relaxed in other ways. So it pretty much balanced out. Wow... that probably made no sense, but there it is. blush

wildkittydeer Wed 22-Jun-11 19:07:41

I had my youngest child when I was 46 and can honestly say I experienced no problems at all. I think like many others have said the only distressing aspect was the negative attitude of the medical profession.

Lonnie Wed 22-Jun-11 19:18:07

this thread is sooo bad for me. Im 41 and I have to admit I would love another.. but perhaps it just my youngest is 7 and oh she is so grown up

dementedma Wed 22-Jun-11 20:16:08

had DS at 38 - much younger than you lot - after 9 year gap. he was unplanned which is a factor. With both teens leaving home in September I would have had an element of freedom but now at 47 I am still on the school run, looking after a young 'un. So yes, I regret it.

Triggles Wed 22-Jun-11 22:42:55

20 year gap between DD and DS2. Not regretting it for a moment. Planned.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: