Anyone had a baby at 44 or 45 yrs? What is it like?

[Hope88]

Hi I would like to know what it's like to have a baby at 44 or 45. Was it just too tiring? Did you regret it later? I am thinking about it but am really scared of sleepless nights. It really depressed me at 35 so might just push me too far at 45? Or is it not much diffirence as having a baby is always tiring???
Please tell me your story. Thank you

I had my first at 41 and my second at 43. I might have tried for a third at 44/45 as I planned to do when dd2 was born, but she has been a hideously bad sleeper,so i did feel too exhausted to get pregnant again.Otherwise its hard to say,I am tired a lot,but my thyroid is "sluggish" and I'm recovering from years of lack of sleep.I don't find the girls hard though,and they are both at home full time as we are home-ed-ing DD1 for now (she is 6).I'm also still breastfeeding and that is probably having an impact on my tiredness. I feel lucky to have my dds and to have got pregnant very easily.I do sometimes moan that I wish I'd had babies sooner but life didn't pan out like that for me.

I had dd1 at 41 and adopted dd2 at 46. I'm pretty knackered, but not so knackered that I think I shouldn't have done it.

imo age is just a number.

i am 25, and i get knackered with 2 dc...however my friend aged 43 had her dc the same time as i had dd (aged2) and she has alot more energy than me. She paid off her morgage, her DH works full time, her part-time and they have the money to pay for a cleaner twice a week (so no housework) also runs around the park ect put me to shame

Thank you for all the answers. Very helpful.

i had ds1 at 17 and dd2 at 43,3 others in between,i am enjoying dd2 more but i agree the emotional stuff has been hard,was a single and very independent mum of dd1 aged 8 before and had a very nice lifestyle,going back to night feeds and nappies has been hard but she is 22wks now and an absolute delight,sleeps well and never cries,pg was no different to when i was 17 19 23 and 34,all tyhe usual crap goiod luck.

DP bumped into a friend the other day whose wife is about to give birth to a happy accidental DC3. She is 45, he is 46 and their DC1 and DC2 are 15 and 13.

They are all thrilled to bits!

It must be hard to be 50 with a 5 year old, though? My dh is 47, was 26 when he had my dsd, 39 when ds1 was born and 46 when dd2 was born. (i was 35)He does seem to get tired & just doesn't have the same energy to devote to her when he gets in from in the evenings that he did when ds1 was the same age. Men often tend to do the more physical games with small children, tossing them about, and it does get harder with age. No regrets in our case, am just wondering about this from the male perspective, really. How does your dh feel about being an older father?

Interestingly DD3 is the daughter of a 41 yo who was the son of a 41 yo, who was the first son of a 40 yo mother. DH's grandparents didn't meet and marry till then, and then had two genius mathematicians in the space of a year (DFIL at 40, DH uncle at 41- the mum at least, the father was older.) There's well over a century between DD3 and her G grandparents!

My paternal grandparents were 45 and 60 when their last child was born. My grandfather was born in 1891 and his last grandchild was born in 1991.

Had my DD at 42 and now at 44 would like another one. Didn't and don't find it tiring and, for me, can see some real advantages to having a baby in my forties to early thirties (when I first started trying) as I am much more chilled out and capable than I was then.

Not quite the same....I am 67 and DH is 64 and we have 12 and 5 year olds
adopted ofcourse (I'm not that daft) we manage fine but do get tired so I would go for it if I was only 44

Hi Im new to the site
have you all conceived natuarally
Im 43 and trying so far nothing.
Had been on the mirena coil for 16 years had removed in September 10. exactly six months ltr in feb had first period and having periods every month now.
Is it justt perserverance

I had my children at 41 and 44, they were fine and so was I.

It really tees me off when people say 'but think what it would be like to be 50 with a 5 year old' or 'you'll be so old when they are teenagers'. To your children you're always ancient, and that's one of the things I think it is really much easier to accept and live with if you're quite a lot older when you start out. I won't be pretending that I'm their friend, I won't be trying to get down with the kids, I know I'm a different generation and what's more, I'm fine with that. That's something many younger parents aren't.

Anyway, having children was the best thing in my life. I waited for more than fifteen years for them and the wait was more than worth it.

racquel2902 - I conceived naturally,yes.I got pregnant after about three months with DD1,and on the first time we tried with Dd2.

My nan was 46 when she had my dad-naturally, obviously, as was pre-IVF!

Its fine of course, if everything goes well, but statistically you are more likely to miscarry if you are pregnant over forty-not being negative about it, is just fact, so if I was to have a baby late in life I think that would worry me more than anything, as can't imagine the awfulness of having a MC.

had my 1st at 28, just had baby number 6 (12 wks now) at 44, would love another.

I tend to think that when Mother nature decides its game over, till then ..

Don't think I'm any more tired now than i was when i was younger, we co sleep so that makes it easier to get back to sleep.

Pregnancy number 6 was as easy as pg number 1, with compliated ones inbetween , labour was the easiest yet.

good luck. :)

Thanks everyone. It all seem fine but I do worry about not seeing my children growing up. Just tell me I am being silly please. I am a bit upset that I didn't have children earlier but obviously cannot change it now. I want to see my grandchildren...

see I think this is where I think i am a little different to alot of people, I'm not deperately looking forward to grandchildren, I know my kids are still young, (eldest just left school, is 16) but I want my children, not their children, does that make sense?

When i say i'm not looking forward to it, I don't mean i'm not looking forward to having them, I mean I'm not waiting for that next stage iykwim, I'm still concentrating on my own and quite possible I will still have young children of my own when i become a grandmother.

I have no interest in having grandchildren either.

Can I recommend a book called 'the Gentle Birth Method' by Gowri Mowtha. Putting yourself in right frame of mind for pregnancy, labour birth etc. using good diet, visualisation etc. The sperm can hang around waiting for the egg so don't just wait for ovulation to have sex, do it several days in advance and you will increase your chances by several million times!!

I was 2 weeks away from 44 and had what i called pre-natal depression worrying about sleepless nights, nucal scan results and being a bad mum. When ds was born, all worries were unfounded and reality was nothing like I'd feared. Having supportive DH with previous experience was good too. Labour and birth were easy - no drugs, gas, tearing - and I would have done it again the following day it was so beautiful.

Try not to live in the future as you may never meet your grandchildren. Your DC may not have any for one thing. What is certain is you won't have any if you don't have DC in first place.

Just trust and ask yourself if this is something you really want. If so, and you don't get pregnant, all those I know who've adopted are just as close to their children.

I'm told i'm a great mother and ds is a gorgeous, intelligent, funny little boy. We love each other to bits. We take each day as it comes, but for me, they are normally packed with joy.

Curtaincall, what a lovely post. I finished with our 3rd at nearly 39 but have several friends (we're 41) ttc and this is so positive! Good luck to everyone.