Anyone had a baby at 44 or 45 yrs? What is it like?

[Hope88]

Hi I would like to know what it's like to have a baby at 44 or 45. Was it just too tiring? Did you regret it later? I am thinking about it but am really scared of sleepless nights. It really depressed me at 35 so might just push me too far at 45? Or is it not much diffirence as having a baby is always tiring???
Please tell me your story. Thank you

I had my 3rd just before I turned 42. I suffer terribly from hyperemesis, so the pregnancy was grim.

The birth was very easy, I found her to be a reasonably easy baby - having done it twice before I was pretty laid back.

I haven't regretted it at all (was an unplanned pregancy). She is the best thing that ever happened to me, and every time I look at her I am thankful, and feel so lucky to have her.

One day when she was about 3, we were sitting having a cuddle, and I told her how glad I was to have her, and she turned to me and said "I know you were chosen to be my mummy". Maybe she is right.

Thank you shubiedoo and good luck to your friends !

I was 38 and 40 when my 2 were born. Dh was 56 and 58 respectively. I would have been happy enough to try for another, but as dinosaurs from a forgotten age, it really might be less than fair. Dh's mum was nearly 47 when he was born in 1940s. So, whatever happens!

I would love a second child. I will be 45 in just over a month. DS is a lovely, bright, busy 6.8 yr old.

I would LOVE a second child.

OP- the posts above are so lovely. Good luck with your decision.

OP I think the big fear of many older mothers (and certainly me) is not seeing them grow up.I am aware that is I'd had them younger I would have more time with them but life is never perfect.I do feel grateful to have them at all and to have gor pregnant so easily even though it was later in life than ideal.And women have always had babies in their forties,just not often first babies like we see with our generation.

My mother had me at 17, my brother at 21 and then my sister at 43. She had an easy birth and pregnancy with my sister and I. Terrible pregnancy and c section with brother. The main difference she feels is she was much more patient and loving with my sister. She never joined in so much with my brother and I. Also she now looks remarkably young for 60 and is very up to date with music and fashion. Never once has she been mistaken for a grandmother for my sister. In fact last year she was at the checkout in the supermarket and was mistaken for my DD's (then 4) mother.

Had The Cub at 40, I don't think it's easy at any age but you have better energy levels when younger. But then you get more wound up about things that aren't that important when younger.

ThereAreBenefitsToBothTiggaxx

I had DTS's at 19 and DD at 41.7. DH was 51. Birth of DD was pretty traumatic-ended up having an EMCS 4 weeks early following contracting Strep B, but I bounced back quickly and energy wise, I have been fine. I definitely have more patience than first time around. DH would like us to try for a sibling for DD but I am not sure-I would ideally like a couple of years gap, but I am 42 now and given quite a complicated gynaey history and that I had two mc's in 2006 and 2008 before DD, it makes sense to try sooner as opposed to later. I just wish I had met my DH ten years ago.....

My mum was coming up for mid forties when I was born.

Didn't really notice until I compared her to other mums, but when I was 6 she was 50.... so she liked to spend her weekends chilling, watching tv, reading the paper quietly in the coffee shop......

When I hit teens she was horrendously old fashioned and cruel as she'd grown up in the 1940's. I couldn't tell her anything and when she found out I'd had sex with my boyfriend, she acted like it was the end of the world and that i was a little whore. She actually said "you are tainted now, when you get married your husband will know". I've never forgotten those words.

Now I'm early 30's, she's late 70's. Not great. She'll be too old to look after my children if/when I have them.

I wish I'd been in a position to have children in my twenties. I would have wanted to raise children young.

Thank you for your stories. Very interesting.

Sorry about your mum's comment A1980 Hope things are better now.

A1980 I think that may also have alot to do with how your parents were brought up and what the world was like then. Older mothers now, ie I am 44, understand that the world has changed, you are always going to have the generation gap.

Perhaps she wasn't being deliberately unkind, but was genuinely worried about your future. Obviously i don't know her so can only pass comment.

Have to say though, your comment -

" Now I'm early 30's, she's late 70's. Not great. She'll be too old to look after my children if/when I have them" maybe she wouldn't have wanted to look after them anyway even if she was younger.

Had dd a month before I turned 42. My ds was 3 and my husband was working away, so the first 3 months were hard until my dh came back - but that didn't have anything to do with my age - just bad planning/timing. Everything was fine. Pregnancy was wonderful (other than a bit of morning sickness). Birth was fantastic - no pain relief and very quick. Absolutely no regrets about it. She is 3 now and I don't feel as though I'm an 'old' mother. Lots of my friends are in a similar position and I'm not the oldest mum at the school either! Go for it!

I'm nearly 44 and have an 8 week-old and a 3.5 year old. Baby is pretty relaxed - much easier than the threenager. I BF and the most difficult bit is being "always on", but it's going very well really.

Bump

Im thinking of a sperm donor option at 45. It was not how my life was supposed to be ans i have regrets. But.. im ready for the next stage..

45 and so far finding it easier as she sleeps relatively well in the evening and i am happy to do nothing except feed and watch netflix most of the day

Who are you replying to user1493299527 ?

Very odd
Especially when you read the thread bumpers other posts

Good lord you are right hobnobs.

PMSL, zombie thread bumped for fuck-all!