How does one fart?

[withmycoffee]

Reading a post today about someone's DP farting whist she ate and another about adult DSS comic farting I started wondering, what is fart etiquette in your relationship/family/home?
Do people fart openly? Leave the room? Leave the bed before releasing? Say 'excuse me'? Laugh each time? What is typical fart behaviour?

[UsernameNotSaved]

Fart as and when needed, except if people are eating. That’s just rude. If it’s massive then laugh and apologise, farts are natural and funny 😁

[Sheleg]

DH and I fart long, loud and proud. Baby DD is shaping up to follow in our stinking footsteps.

[Backtoschool101]

I leave the room. I think its rude. Plus if it smells its not fair to Others! Its a normal bodily function but unless can't even helped should be done in private. But thats how I was brought up. Do is loud and proud and it doesn't bother me too much.

[QueenPawPaws]

Never ever in front of anyone for me

[Dailyhandtowelwash]

Over a decade together and DH has never farted in front of me. I’ve been pregnant too much to say quite the same but pretty minimal.

[Chloemol]

Never in front of anyone, just rude

[AutoIncorrect]

We just fart at random as needed. Makes us laugh.

[noblegreenk]

We all just do it in our house. We'd draw the line at farting at the dinner table like a previous poster said, but home should be the one place where you all love each other enough to put up with each others stink.

[saffire]

I only do it in front of my dd or df. Only if I absolutely can't avoid it in front of my partner! 7 years and I still find it difficult. Mine are bad though! I have IBD, so that's my excuse.

[DramaAlpaca]

We all blame the dog.

[whoamongstus]

Just whenever it happens here. We laugh if they're especially funny sounding 🤷‍♀️

If someone had a dodgy stomach and knew it was going to be grim they'd go into another room out of kindness, but just...airy ones? Who gives a shit, it's normal!

[Jetatyeovilaerodrome]

Do people really not fart in front of their own husbands? Why not?

[rowmaccerd]

I can't imagine having to hide facts in my own home,neither would I want anyone else in the family to feel like they had to.

Do you people really get out of bed at 3am when you need to trump so you acan go to another room?

The idea that people do that blows my mind

[SalemsPot22]

We save them all up for bedtime and then try and out do eachother in bed.

[Northernsoullover]

Never fart in front of my OH and vice versa. I didn't even in front of the children but now they are teens and they don't hold back so I gave up holding back.
I just don't think its very alluring in a romantic relationship. We are all different.

[meltedgalaxy]

We just do it when we need to

[Hawkmoth]

DH has no sense of smell. I do what i need to. I am ruined for any other man as I KNOW I stink.

[NiceGerbil]

Funny here.

Also I wouldn't expect anyone to leave the room to fart. What if they'd had something that makes them windy? It would be annoying up and down up and down.

I read once that your body learns when you feel comfy and relaxed to fart and when not, which explains why I don't need to fart much at the office but when I lie down in bed at night all hell breaks loose

[Pebbledashery]

Shamelessly place marking for the laughs because I'm 9 years old 😂

[ekidmxcl]

Me, dh, 2 teens. All fart and laugh.

[Northernsoullover]

I don't find them funny either. Not run of the mill parping anyway! A mis timed one or one someone tries to sneak out but fails can be bloody hilarious (sat in a beer garden with my friend and she tried to sneak one out but was sat on a plastic chair, yes THAT was bloody hilarious) but I couldn't find someone farting day in day out amusing.. surely the novelty would be long gone?

[Chlordiazepoxide]

Don't mind dh doing it but I try not too. Not sure why just think it's pretty rank

[Pebbledashery]

@Northernsoullover crying 😂😂😂😂

[indemMUND]

Single parent. DD (9) farts when she needs to but she does get that it's inappropriate to do so when in company (ie school). She thinks I'm incapable of it. Same with pooping. Long gone are the days of dealing with a toddler in close vicinity when you've got to go. Apparently I'm her safe place to let rip. No performance farting though!

[Workyticket]

We're shameless at home. We had a big Sunday dinner with piles of veg so it's currently competitive!

When ds comes to sit on my knee sometimes it's for a cuddle, sometimes it's because he saved a good pump

I've got friends I've had for 20 years that I've not farted in front of though and would be so embarrassed if i farted noticeably at work so I do have standards