Come one, come all ,to the countdown to Christmas 2019 Thread 1

[Mrsmadevans]

Welcome to the first thread for the 2019 Christmas countdown m'dears

[AceyMac13]

Thanks for the new thread Mrs

Fluffy - oh I didn’t know that! My midwife said 3rd trimester is classed as 28 weeks.

Wheelie - i’d Love to scoop him up and take him to the vets but unfortunately it’s not my place to do that :( have a nice time with your relatives

Mrs - you shouldn’t feel bad my lovely! She is clearly unhinged and a very pathetic excuse for a human being, there is nothing you can do or say to change that or her my dear! It’s not your responsibility to either. She makes me so mad because she just doesn’t seem to care unless it benefits her!

Addie is having a huge kicking session

[PhilomenaNewYearButterfly]

Hello! 👋

Thanks for the new thread Mrs!

[PhilomenaNewYearButterfly]

Had Singapore noodles for supper, DD will go to bed at 9.50. 😋🍜😴

[NoWordForFluffy]

Argghh. You beat me to it; I had a good title too. We need to have MNHQ to rename your title to have Thread 1 added!

Thank you for doing it in my churlish absence though!

[NoWordForFluffy]

My Fitbit says 7 miles, Mrs, but I don't do as many steps to a mile as some (ridiculously long legs / stride), so it's probably nearer to 8!

[Mrsmadevans]

Acey l know she is just awful , l really don't know her at all. My Mum said to her why are you like this ? Why are you so nasty about everybody ? She didn't answer her.
My Mum just rang me, has found out that Dsis didn't send the Christmas cards she made out for her 2 friends, she is . They didn't send one back to Mum and she wondered why so she phoned them , Dsis didn't think Mum would bother to ring them to see why there was no card. I don't know what she hoped to get from that except she wanted to stop Mum spending money on stamps. Do you know she really is nuts , l mean wth does that ?
This afternoon l had to ring Santander , the parents bank, to get them to stop sending statements to them because she opened the bank statement and her DH was reading it as well. Mum was fuming and really put out, it is not on but it doesn't surprise me at all it is her of old .
Addie is going to be famous footballer l reckon she will kick for Ireland lol!
PSB Singapore noodles sounds delish!
Thank you for the new thread approval , l had to do something it was near the end lol, desperate not to lose any of you see

[Mrsmadevans]

Can you ask MNHQ to do that m'dear Fluffy l haven't got a clue
Can we use your title next time , the rate we are going it will be needed very shortly

[Mrsmadevans]

8 miles is amazing Fluffy , l think l am awesome doing 3 lol

[NoWordForFluffy]

I'll have to think of another title as mine was specific to the first thread! It doesn't matter; it's my own fault for not piping up when I had the chance!

Your sister gets worse and worse. What a meddling cow! Your parents don't need that kind of shit from their own daughter.

[Mrsmadevans]

Fluffy can you do a thread and we can use that one and use this for a spare and an heir lol
My sisters behaviour is getting worse, there must be something seriously wrong with her to be like this . It is almost criminal behaviour !

[AceyMac13]

Feeling so angry and hurt right now

So, just going through my dad’s phone to make sure I’ve not missed any bills or missed anyone who needed informing that he had died.. so I click onto his text messages and there’s a message to one of my family members the day before he went into hospital. It says ‘poor child having Acey for a mother, child doesn’t stand a chance’ and there’s another one the day before that, that says ‘yeah Acey is a lunatic I don’t even think she has ptsd she’s just making it up!’
Ok so firstly what the actual fuck?! How can he be so cruel!
Secondly, he blamed me for my mum dying and then fucked off abandoning all his kids!
Thirdly, my ptsd is caused by trauma, some of which he inflicted himself!!

I just have no words, I thought we had a good relationship after everything but clearly not! How dare he say poor Addie having a mother like me, at least I know not to abandon my child and how to put my child first! Aye I’m not perfect but I try my damn best to be the best possible person I can be!
My grandad is fuming as is paddy, I can’t work out whether I’m more hurt or angry.

Sorry, I just needed to vent!

[AceyMac13]

Mrs - thank god you are nothing like her I’m glad your mum is calling her out on it!
I honestly can’t even begin to comprehend what in God’s name is wrong with your sis, why wouldn’t she send the cards?! What on earth could she possibly gain!
Why on earth is she reading your mums bank statements?! What the actual hell is wrong with her, who behaves like that?! Disgusting!
Haha paddy says the same thing Mrs or a kickboxer
She can be whatever she wants to be

[Mrsmadevans]

Acey he wasn't well when he text these things , he didn't mean any of it , look at how he was when you were with him, think about how he acted , how calm he was when you were there sweetie, he didn't mean a letter of it l am sure. Look how he acted , he bought you the Flamingo pram, he had it delivered to you and you didn't know anything about it , he only wanted and needed you by his side . Don't let this cloud your memories. When we text things there is no way of knowing how the inflection of the words were. Did he say them in a joking way , was he just replying to someone who was being nasty about you and he just wanted to get rid of them asap?
Think about it carefully . I am sure there are some things he said that are unforgivable but on the other hand he may not have meant any of it , Hugs sweetie you can so do without this l am sure once you have a tal to your pops and Paddy and your best Brother you will see it for what it is sweetie . I am so sorry my dear , families do let us down sometimes

[Mrsmadevans]

I know Acey . l really think she is nuts, there is no other answer for it .
You feeling better now sweetie ahh bless you

[AceyMac13]

Mrs - that’s what I’ve been trying to get my head around, he wanted me there, the last thing he asked for before he slipped unconscious was me
You are right, he was very poorly when those texts were sent, because he Was the most straight talking and honest person I knew so surely if he felt those things, he would have said them to me!
There is a note section on his phone and the last one he wrote was when he was in hospital and it says ‘tell Acey I’m so very proud of her she is smashing life out the park’
It’s all so confusing but you are right I shouldn’t let it cloud my memories!
My brother said a few hours before he died, my dad came round slightly and just kept saying ‘want Acey’ I was in the toilet at the time so I didn’t even know that happened.
My grandpops is saying there’s no way he meant that and he clearly wasn’t well because he wouldn’t refer to Addie as ‘child’ he would say baby girl or baby my surname.
I love him and miss him and I just feel so much guilt and want him to be proud of me!

[AceyMac13]

Mrs - I’m okay thank you my dear, you’ve really helped put things into perspective for me and I’m so thankful you are like the mum I never had

[Mrsmadevans]

Acey he was and is proud of you darling, don't take this to your heart, he never meant a word of it l am sure , just the ramblings of an extremely poorly gentleman with low oxygen levels which really make you befuddled bless him. I bet if you look you will see things he has written about other ppl rellys too , just let it go it is not important , you were with him at all times and he loved you so much and you him, of course he wanted you with him, you ar ehis only DD and you know what Daddy's are like for their little girls. Bless you, try to see this for what it is , his actions did not say any of this . It just expressed love and happiness and pride.

[Mrsmadevans]

I always wanted more DDS Acey , daughter from another mother

[AceyMac13]

Mrs - you are right, he didn’t mean it because his actions definitely said otherwise! I get so angry at times because I only had 27 years with him and 13 of those he wasn’t even around, then I feel guilty for feeling so angry! This is why bereavement counselling will be grand and will help me make sense of these feelings!
His oxygen levels were terrible and his poor heart going nearly 190bpm, no wonder he was out of it!
I’m going to ignore those messages and put it down to his illness, he never spoke to the relatives he sent it to for a couple of years beforehand, so he clearly wasn’t thinking straight as they didn’t get on.
I know he loved me and he sure as hell loved Addie, that’s all that matters

[AceyMac13]

Yay I love it super mother Mrs mad

Addie just kicked me and you could see her wee foot push against my skin, woah that was so cool and surreal!

[PhilomenaNewYearButterfly]

It was delish Mrs! 😋

Hugs Acey.

[AceyMac13]

Thank you Philomena, hugs returned

[Mrsmadevans]

l am so glad you are thinking along these lines my dear Acey , l am sure he was in such a terrible physical state that he didn't know what day of the week it was bless him. It is so sad you only had him for such a short time but Acey it sounds like he just couldn't cope without your Darling Mum and that is why he abandoned you , perhaps he felt like you were better off without him. Daft l know but bereavement is such a tangled, confusing, desperate time . I am not making excuses but l just know how l felt when my DMil died , l felt really angry with her , l said a lot of things about her that l didn't mean but it was all to avoid the pain of losing her , l see it now and l have forgiven myself for being so silly. I just didn't want to face up to her being gone. I put objects in front of her picture so l couldn't see her face and l thought about her all the time , my every waking thought was of her. It is horrendous. I think you will really benefit from the counselling my dear Acey

[AceyMac13]

Mrs - the one thing I’ve realised is just how much he loved my mum. After she died he never met anyone else, never had any interest in anyone else for over 20 years. That blows my mind but in a good way, that’s like the truest, purest form of love.
My grandad says I reminded my dad so much of my mum, so it would make sense that he just couldn’t cope with the constant reminder that she wasn’t here any more. I don’t want to feel angry and I’m really looking forward to my counselling because it will definitely help with these overwhelming emotions!
I remember about a month before he died, and we went to the shop before the football and he would be telling anyone ‘this is my daughter she’s a paralegal and going to be a lawyer when she graduates’ proud as punch bless him well don’t you worry dad, I’m still doing my degree next year
Thank you for being so honest and for sharing your feelings my dear, it helps me put things into perspective and also realise that it’s totally normal to feel these emotions
Paddy wanted me to say thank you to everyone on behalf of him as well, as he knows how much this thread helped me when my dad died and how wonderful you all are

[Mrsmadevans]

Acey when you write that all down about him saying all that to his friends then you just know those texts mean nothing. They are nothing. It sounds like the world stopped for your Dad when your Mum died , poor man he must have been heartbroken. They are together again at last . You do your degree and become a lawyer Acey , you make your life the very best you can.
It is totally normal to feel a huge Gamut of emotions when you lose a loved one, losing my MIL made me realise that. The counselling will do you the world of good, it will allow you to let go of an awful lot of stuff you won't even realise you are holding onto. Tell Paddy thank you for being such a fabulous fella for our girl Acey and we are all in this together, rain or shine