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I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

(565 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

GlitteryPoopooplop Tue 23-Apr-19 19:58:58

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 14:58:15

@jammiebammie to be honest in some cases is really overkill. Some 16 year olds are very very sensible. We just need to be careful so we don't miss anything.

BlingLoving Thu 25-Apr-19 15:15:09

You say under 18s need an adult with them, but it doesn't have to be a parent and you don't inform parents?

I was so pleased to see your comment that it's more over 40s than teenagers. I think teenagers get a bad rap and I really believe that for a 17 year old who gets pregnant and wants to terminate, she absolutely should be allowed to do that in privacy without getting permission from an adult or parent. I mean, if it was my DD, I'd hope she'd feel she could talk to me and I know I'd support her if that's what she decided to do, but I fully appreciate that a lot of teenagers don't get that support.

LittleMissHappy19 Thu 25-Apr-19 15:25:09

@Sagradafamiliar we asked no question. The OP made the statement and then a different poster questioned her on it, to which other posters including myself then obviously had questions and opinions..like every other poster on this thread.

Ask me anything..can the title of this topic be any more simple for you?!

If you can't get even that, then I do not value any opinion on such a serious and emotive subject!

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 15:26:34

@BlingLoving it's definitely something we'd encourage (telling their parents) but no we wouldn't just tell them without permission (apart from anything else they'd need to give details of their parents so they just wouldn't of they didn't want us to know). But i normally would say that their mum would probably want to know.

LittleMissHappy19 Thu 25-Apr-19 15:31:38

And also when I ask the simple question back to posters in agreement with OP without obviously reading the whole thread..

So you are in agreement that a healthy perfect baby about to take it's first breath, it's first little cry, it's first feed, arriving in the world at 40 weeks..because the mother decides to, the baby can be killed instead?

No one answers that question back, because they know it's wrong.

Are you in agreement with that?

No reason needed. She just wants to get rid of it.

That is what the OP stated and that is the issue we have.

It's all very simple.

Yes or no?

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 15:48:39

I'm not rising to you, pick the answer you want.

escapade1234 Thu 25-Apr-19 15:49:28

They won’t answer it because the pro-choice lobby have painted themselves into a corner with the absolute mantra that a woman can do whatever she likes with her body. They have to claim to believe she can abort a baby at 40 weeks when surely they do not.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 15:50:31

I've also said with counselling. If a woman, aware of what the procedure involves, what alternatives there are, etc etc still wants to go ahead then yes. I agree with it. It's impractical to say a woman in labour would be able to have an abortion because the counselling, etc etc wouldn't be able to be done in time, it's not something which would necessarily be performed in every hospital.

Even women who come to us at 23 weeks plus a few days sometimes aren't able to be treated because it's difficult to find appointments for them.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 15:53:23

I'm not rising to you, pick the answer you want.

Rising to what? It's a reasonable question to ask, but it really doesn't surprise me that you have no answer to it.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 15:53:28

I've answered lots of times! Lots and lots! Yes, I do believe it's reasonable for it to be legal. However, if a woman came to me at 40 weeks I would discuss it in great detail, I'd inform her of the risks, I'd inform her how the procedure would work. I'd probably try and talk her out of it if it was simply "nah I don't want a baby". But most likely, for a woman to come to us at 40 weeks they're must be a reason. The 2 women I've seen who were 33 and 36 weeks respectively i would have definitely said yes if it was legal.

Sagradafamiliar Thu 25-Apr-19 15:56:57

The reason I won't answer is because one minute I was defending the OP being grilled on domestic abuse in the context of terminations, the next it's being demanded of me to give my opinion on full-term abortion. It's bizarre. Some strange twisting some posters are doing and not feeding into it. This isn't ask me anything.

riotlady Thu 25-Apr-19 15:57:32

There’s also a difference between “I believe this is morally absolutely fine in all circumstances” and “I believe this should be legal”. Imo, the outlier cases you describe where someone aborts a 40 week baby on a whim are definitely ethically questionable (I also seriously doubt it would happen) but I support it being technically legal in order to protect other women.

riotlady Thu 25-Apr-19 15:59:34

Thank you for all that you do, OP!

How do you cope after a particularly hard day at work? Do you feel like you carry the sadder stories home with you?

LittleMissHappy19 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:01:15

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:07:35

Sagradafamiliar

Why are you defending someone who is perfectly capable of answering questions themselves on an anonymous gorum, on a thread they started on a very touchy subject.
What you actually did was target me directly, therefore I will address your posts and ask why you have such a problem with other people's my opinion.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:10:17

Oh and you still haven't answered what the reasons are for weight gain for you in particular on the depo, but I doubt you will.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:12:37

@Drogosnextwife she actually has. I replied, she quoted me and said it applied to her.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict Thu 25-Apr-19 16:13:17

How can you love your job, seriously? And the fact you think it should be legal up to 40 weeks is awful. I agree with abortion in some circumstances but you seem flippant.

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:15:01

@riotlady I definitely take the tough cases home with me. I've struggled with a few stories. Unwind... Hmmm gin and candy crush probably!

GlitteryPoopooplop Thu 25-Apr-19 16:16:26

@Chocolatecoffeeaddict I'm not flippant at all. It's very important to me that we trust women. I love my job because I get to meet all kinds of people, I help them through hard times, and I find it very interesting.

LittleMissHappy19 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:16:27

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FuzzyLilac Thu 25-Apr-19 16:18:34

I think the OP is far from flippant.

She has expressed great empathy and support for the women that use the services and she shows compassion for those who have faced personal tragedy.

I think it is possible to love your job even if it is one that many disagree with.

Drogosnextwife Thu 25-Apr-19 16:20:10

GlitteryPoopooplop

No what you said was that it happenes and is more common in under 18's who are already overweight. My question is why? All other doctors I have spoke to say that contraception does not make you gain weight, the NHS website agrees with them, but apparently there are reason women will gain weight while on the depo or the pill but what is the reason for the weight gain?

Katterinaballerina Thu 25-Apr-19 16:20:47

‘I agree with abortion in some circumstances but you seem flippant.’

Doesn’t all that judging get tiring?

Thelovecats85 Thu 25-Apr-19 16:21:38

No one answers that question back, because they know it's wrong.

Of course it's wrong to abort and perfectly healthy baby at 40 weeks because you don't fancy being a mum. But it should be up to the mother to make the decision of whether she wants a child or not; not the states or yours or religions - the mothers choice.

And as several people have pointed out, it's probably best for the baby not to be born to a mother who would end a full term babies life for no good reason.

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