Working mums - when do you find time.......................................

[mandymoo]

to:

give your child/ren your undivided attention
exercise
rest
have "you" time
do the housework

I work 3 days a week and just cant see how i can do everything i want.

give your child/ren your undivided attention - i go in to work late so that i can do the morning routine with them. i work four days so that i can spend the friday with them. w/es are shared family time.
exercise - nope, no way, no time.
rest - only if i make sure i get early nights.
have "you" time - occasionally on saturdays, post 9pm in the evenings (too tired to actually do much then though!)
do the housework - cleaner twice a week, who also does ironing, changes sheets and towels. other tidying cleaning etc. other day to day chores are shared between dh and i - we keep on top of things to avoid build up.

where i really find i don't have enough time:

• gardening
• chores other than day-to-day things, e.g. i have been wanted to give ds's toys a good clear out for at least a month, but just haven't had a chance
• time for dh and i on our own

plus lots of other things i'm sure!

I work four days a week; the rest of the time I take the girls to their childminder and collect them at around 5.30. Don't know how undivided that attention is though. I am self-employed so I grab two long lunchbreaks a week to go and swim, and do one evening to catch up - this isn't ideal but I do actually need exercise, I slip into rather tedious depression without it. Also try and swim once a weekend. Pay a cleaner. Dunno about 'me' time, tends to coincide with the swimming. It works pretty well.

3 days here as well:

Attention - same as others have mentioned, have baby and a toddler, one or the other is always mithering and squawking if the other has my attention for more than a nanosecond.

Exercise - I don't drive, just push a heavy double everywhere (and weigh less than I did before pregnancies ).

Rest - When asleep or when they go to bed at night if there isn't bottles/food/hoovering to do.

You time - None. You sign that away at birth imo. Sooner you get your head round that the better all round!

Housework - Either Monday's for Friday's on my day off with dd1 'helping'. Or general tidying when they go to bed.

give children undivided attention: 5 - 7 p.m. when home
exercise: eh?
rest: after 7p.m. (I've trained myself to see "pottering around the kitchen" as rest!)
have "me" time: again, I've trained myself to equate this with rest, so again, after 7p.m. My new job is office based, and I'm thinking that maybe I will get a chance to stop working while I eat lunch (I used to be a teacher and any break during the working day was impossible) and I'll read a chapter or wander to the greengrocers then. Also Occupational Health have told me I have to work only 3 days a week, so as it is for health reasons the boys are in nursery 3 1/2 days a week. On my half day at home alone my rule is to do absolutely no housework or anything that benefits any other family member (unless it makes me happy, iyswim).
do the housework: We are lucky, it is possible for us to find £20 a week for a cleaner (who also irons and washes up) by not spending much on clothes, shoes, etc.

Oh yes, and on my full day off the boys get my undivided attention cos it is such a treat to be home with them (whereas if I was home full time I think I might not get so excited about it or make so many plans), and on the half day we always go out swimming, walking in the woods, story time in the library, etc.

I work full-time outside the home and this is how it goes for us mandymoo
Child time: early mornings/evenings/weekends. Even though I can sometimes feel my head coming to a point we eat en famille every night at 6.30pm. We all enjoy this.
Exercise - walk a lot but proper endorphin-creating aerobic? None, and I need to lose weight so this is currently worrying me
Rest - hollow laughter. Half an hour knitting on my daily train commute and listening to my Walkman is as good as it gets.
Me time - occasional Saturday lunches with women friends, other than that, none.
Do the housework - um, this is minimal but done in the evening and at weekends.

I have a teeny taster of SAHMdom in the summer when I have a lot of the long vac off in one go. I agree totally I am not less busy (in fact I work harder at home IMO) but I am more flexible because I am in one place all the time and not using three hours of the day commuting.

Apart from the exercise thing, which is starting to assume a health rather than a me-time status, I have low expectations of doing everything I want. I do miss cinema, concerts and especially theatre, but I feel I am compensated by my two fab little children and the pleasure they bring to dh and me. I think the fact that dh and I had ten years together as carefree DINKYs beforehand helps me consign my previous leisure pursuits to the archives. Dh copes with this change much less well than I do, poor ickle thing

3 days here also:

Undivided attention - I only have 1 ds so it's a bit easier for me. We spend lots of time together Friday - Monday when I'm not at work

Excercise - I am a member of gym but can never find time to go (excuses, excuses) however I walk to work 3 day a week (4100 steps according to my stepometer) and I make sure I go for 3 runs a week for 30 minutes each time. I do this first thing in the morning or before dinner when dh comes home

rest - some evenings I'll settle on the sofa to watch some crap telly

me time - agree with oliveoil on this

housework - Friday mornings

I did originally work full time when ds was little, so I feel blessed now to only work 3 days.

Work full time.

Undivided attention - 2-3 hours at night + weekends
Exercise - cycle to and from work, 45 min. each way. Walks or cycles at weekend with DH and DS. Would love to go swimming or do dance lessons, but can't find the time.
Rest - 10/10.30pm - 5.45 when sleeping.
Me time - manage to fit in 1/2 hour with a book a couple of nights a week.
"Quality time" with DH once a month, when my mum takes DS overnight.
Housework - do washing, ironing and generel tidying throughout the week. Hoover, dust etc at weekends.

give your child/ren your undivided attention - mon/fri when i'm at home
exercise - what's that?
rest - huh?
have "you" time - on the tube to work
do the housework - have a cleaner and live slobby rest of time.

Colditz, LOL !!!I have started doing that - "3) Instead of doing housework, we simply announce that we were just about to, whenever someone comes to the door."

I only work three days a week.
I get up at 5.45, get ds ready for nursery at 8.
By the time I arrive at work, I feel like I've done a hards days work already !
Does anyone else feel like that?

I have a cleaner and an ironing lady.
(this is sounding worse & worse, as I go on !!!)
I feel so guilty.
Yet I spend hours, preping, hanging it out, folding it up, putting away.

I do no exercise at all.

And yet, the actual quality time spent, inbetween eating & nappy changes etc, is not that much - like Acnebridge says - 'that's lovely darling', as a comment, I use it too much.

But, I do try....Honest govenor !!!

I work 3 days and it pans out like this:

a) with the children I can quite often give time to DD (15 months) while DS (4) is occupying himself. I try to give DS about 45 mins attention (doing sticker books, baking. doing lego etc) while DD is having a nap. Also DH and I try to alternate giving the children attention between tea and bath (about half hour). Plus weekends. Will change in DD's favour from Sept when DS goes to school.
b) exercise - have just resigned by gym membership because I used to go at lunchtime (whne working) but had so many other chores to fit in it just wasn't working. So now have started high impact aquafit at 8.15 pm on a Thursday. Also try to walk as much as possible with kids but not much exercise at 4yo pace.
c) Rest - bed at about 10.30- 11 until sometime between 6 and 7 when DD wakes up (6.30 at latest when waking. Also relax (online/reading) from about 9.30-9.45.
d) you time. Very little beyond whats mentioned above. Try to do a bit of gardening in an evening which I enjoy. Coincide the ironing with TV programs I want to watch. Occasionally DH has the kids while I go shopping for a couple of hours at the weekend. Once a month ish go out for a meal with girl friends.
e) housework - cleaning done on Monday - try and do the upstairs (except hoovering because DD scared of hoover) in the morning. Downstairs in the evening with DH. Most of rest of housework other evenings - 7.30 - 9.45. Share ironing with DH on a who wants to watch TV basis. Eg Sunday he ironed while watching Top Gear and I did the other chores.

give your child/ren your undivided attention
I work full-time, get up at 5:45 nursery at 7:30 - maybe an hour or so in the evenings before bed

exercise
In my dreams...

rest
Thank goodness ds sleeps through so 7-8 hours per night

have "you" time
Whenever possible

do the housework
Not often enough...

I worked FT untill recent maternity leave.

You time = reading on train in and out of work and lunchtimes.
Exercise = Not much. Walking to train station, walking at lunchtime.
Housework = As and when ( House often messy)
Attention to kids = Probably not enough but then again perhaps children get too much attention these days. My num thinks I spoil my kids, she had 5 and we pretty much brought ourselves up.

My parents never worried about how to entertain us. There job was to provide food and a roof over our head and make sure we did our home work.

Undivided attention? Usually for a little while each day, it's not so hard.

Exercise? On the 2 days I'm off and at the weekends?

Rest? Um...I'm a working mum!!

You time? Once in a blue moon.

Do the housework? On my days off, or the weekend.

It's really not that hard

It really is !

Undivided attention - hmmm attention for about 1-2hrs every evening but not sure it's undivided
Exercise - used to go to the gym every day but lately I just don't do it (except in bed oh er)
rest - evenings in front of TV
You time - when I preparing for a night out
housework - when dd visits her father, when the mess has me on the verge of tears, or mad rush before an expected visitor.

I work 37.5 hours per week (read roughly 45hrs)

Or maybe I'm just a complete slattern??!

or just extremely good at time management (I'm not!)

give your child/ren your undivided attention - bed and bath time, sat and sun mornings
exercise - whats that then?
rest - when he sleeps.... when ever that is
have "you" time - rarely on the commute home
do the housework - sat evenings, 10-20 mins every evening when I get in

I work full time at the moment:

undivided attention - weekends or after tea time
exercise - not a hope !
rest - bedtime !
have "you" time - when DH does the bath routine (ie now!) & after DS is in bed
do the housework - weekend

1.give your child/ren your undivided attention= walking to school, walking back in the evening,(20-30mins total a day) + 30mins to 1 hour before bed/bath. 1-2 hrs at weekend.
2. exercise = walk part of way to work and back, plus walk at lunchtime (12-13k steps a day :-))
3. rest = does sleeping at night count?
4. have "you" time = eerrrm.. can't remember any recently.
5. do the housework= skim round a bit once a fortnight. sounds bad but i've seen a lot worse. i like to think its messy rather than actually dirty.

I work 20 hours over 2 days, i seperate those days so that im not away for 2 days on the trot.

~Undivided attention 5 days a week 24 hours if he needs it (believe me, i have done 24 hour stints before now!)

~ Exersize, some evenings if dh not working late, me and my neighbour go for a 3 mile stomp. Other than that, i run around after a toddler all day!

~Rest again at bedtime, otherwise none fingers crossed that ds will sleep,

~me time, bed time or stomping sessions. Dont really do any thing else for me.

~Housework as im going along and on a Monday i blitz the bathroom and hoover the whole house.

Its hard going. GOOD THOUGH!

I haven't read the thread but thought I'd add my bit since I've just become a full time wohm again. And then I'll be interested to read the rest in a minute.

give your child/ren your undivided attention
Ds every evening between 6.30-8.30, dd I don't see at all during the week atm

exercise
I walk at lunchtime, keep trainers in the car. Tonight I walked after work, only 20 mins but it was something

rest
I go to bed at 10ish and get up at 6am, so that's 8 hours ish, it's enough

have "you" time. Ages, I'm alone in the car 2 hours a day plus 1 hour at lunchtime, plus after 8.30pm when ds is asleep. That's quite a bit imo

do the housework
I don't but only because I'm not at home during the week. Dp does our house and we both do stuff at the weekends but with me and ds living away in the week it's not that messy tbh!

I work full time, and am aware that that probably eats into the children's time with me - occasionally they make plaintive sounds about having a "mummy day" and so I take a day off to be with them.

give your child/ren your undivided attention -
Not sure I do that much, mainly because they are busy doing their own thing (6 and almost 5)! I have breakfast with them every morning, and then do the bedtime routine most nights. Plus more concetrated time at the week-end
exercise
Not as much as I used to - pure laziness I'm afraid - up to a year ago I did weight training twice a week, and a 45 min cycle ride (each way) to work, currently in abeyance.
rest
11.30-7.30 every night, with a lie in at the week-end (dh is an early riser)
have "you" time
to be honest work is really my "me" time, even though it's demanding at times. Plus my lie in at the week-end, and the occasional night out with the girls. Sometimes I do things with one of the children which we both enjoy. Also usually have an hour or two in the evenings when I generally veg out
do the housework
Have cleaner plus dh (SAHD) does all the pottering.

To be honest, on the whole I think I get a pretty good life. Hard work, but pretty satisfying.