I've just resigned !!!!

[wickedstepmother]

I've just handed in my notice (4 weeks) on my part-time job ! Had to do it because it makes more sense for me to be SAHM than to go out to work, as once I have paid for my childcare I am left with 15% of my earnings to show for it ! We are not eligible to Children's Tax Credits as DP earns too much, and with the summer holidays coming up we'd have to pay £26 per day for our 2 boys to go to a playscheme for 6 weeks ! Utter madness.

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SB and WSM!!
I had the biggest kick out of resigning to come to NZ (it was the only way we could afford for me to be a SAHM!!!)
I still look back on that day with warm feelings!!!

Sb and WS I am suitably jealous!! I hate my job and would love to leave but the money is too much of a draw.I am so very close to packing it all in when this contract ends next month...I need a push, so keep posting guys and tell me you don't miss the money?!

Oh how I would love to but am in the position where I earn more than my dh and I need to work in order to keep up with the mortgage payments. But its very very miserable doing a job you hate.....

Lil, I can't miss the moeny as I am no better off working than I am at home. My DP earns too much money for us to be eligible for Childrens Tax Credits and so all of my wages go str8 out of my account into that of my childminder !!

Lil, I am terrified about not having my own money. I have however built up a fairly large secret "Cindy Beale" type fund which I hope will see me through. While I don't intend it to fund leaving my husband, it should be sufficient to ensure occassional access to Jo Malone, facials and perhaps even the odd pair of shoes without him needing to be aware of it.

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I am so, so jealous. Have had the same job (secretary) since January 1985 and now feel I have come to the end of my useful life in this company. I only work part time and feel I am good at my job, but feel my skills are no longer made full use of.

Am separated from husband and have 3 children (10, 5 and 20 months). Work one day at home (via ISDN line, computer, fax, etc.) and 3 days in the office. My mum has my children for me so I don't pay for childcare but I need to work to pay the mortgage, bills, etc. Ex-H does give me £450 a month which helps towards the bills, but there is no way I could manage without working.

What I would like more than anything is to stay at home with my children and lose that guilt feeling I have when I am working, and just enjoy spending more time with them, rather than trying to fit in "quality" time with them, when I am also trying to get the ironing, hoovering, cooking, etc. done.

Have got a new man in my life who is absolutely wonderful and he has these great ideas about moving further south. Before I met him, he was thinking of doing this anyway and now he has met me obviously the plans have been put on hold for the moment but he would, one day, like us to move.

The thing stopping me is ?

(1) I have always worked and LOVE THE IDEA OF NOT WORKING but unfortunately I live in the real world and cannot see how we could manage, even if we did have a larger house with a smaller mortgage. Because I have 3 children from my marriage (he has two ? one from a marriage, one from his last relationship), I feel that I cannot let him support me.

(2) If I did work, how would I manage it ? 2 kids in school and one baby. I have never paid for childcare, my mum has always looked after my children.

I envy you SAHM mums so much.

I've just returned to work from Maternity leave purely for the money. I keep sitting at my desk thinking, there must be more to life than this.....like dropping my son of at play school, mums & tots, meeting up with friends and their chldren and generally having a really nice life, you only get one chance to do these things don't you, I suppose I just have to decide is it worth missing a few foreign holidays for and the kids having asda trainers instead of clarks.... I'll have to think about that very carefully and not make any rash decisions but I know what I want to do deep down.

tut, you know I am just so-o-o easily led....yes I have not renewed my contract this month!!!!I can now put the letters SAHM after my name!!!!

I know this is the right thing as I feel a sense of relief and just can't wait to spend some time with my little ones without having to dash off to nursery in the morning, or rush to pick them up and put them to bed in the evenings.

Its a bit weird though, to not work for the first time in my life - Bells et al do you feel a leetle bit guilty for not contributing financially to the family now? my dh is fine about it, but I don't think the financial restrictions have hit home yet!

ooh 2 more weeks to go....exciting.

Very jealous Lil. I'm now working term time (which is great) but the thought of September is looming over me. Basically, I just hate working

Bumblelion, your maintenance sounds a bit on the low side for three children.

I'd love to quit !!!
I really enjoy my work and have a great time with my work mates, but nothing is as good as being at home with your kids !!!
I work 3 days a week, my twin boys(nearly 5) are off to school in September, but I'd love to give up and have another, just no way could we afford it !!! I'm so glad I went p/t though, and spent as much time as I could with them preschool, DH is also home 1 day a week with them, so they have only had to go to childcare for 2 days a week.
He would love to give up as well and be a SAHF, so I'd have some competition !!!

Hey congratulations Lil!. I do actually feel guilty about not contributing financially but I feel even more guilty as to how much nicer my days are now than my husband's. I slightly can't believe how I get to spend my time these days compared to the stress etc he has to put up with. However, me DS and DD are all a lot happier and our evenings are just so much more relaxed and enjoyable that the benefits for all of us are enormous. I would also say that I am spending a fraction of the money than I was while I was working.

Bells I'm glad its working out for you. I think with your new baby on the way you're entitled to stress free days Is your son at playgroup? My problem is that I never booked ds into a playgroup as he was at nursery. It seems that you need to book at least 1 year in advance for a place, so ds is a bit stuck now...sigh. I don't think there is a spare nursery place in the whole of Surrey!

oops..I mean no spare PLAYGROUP place..

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DS is just nearing the end of 2 weeks summer school so we will have a couple of weeks together before he starts big school in September. Actually, I don't find him any trouble at all, it's DD who is the pain as she still refuses to walk. I can't believe I am going to have a newborn and a lumpen toddler whom I have to carry everywhere!

bells, does ds fetch and carry for her? maybe you will see a big difference when he goes to school!

Bells, I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering how it was working out being at home. Glad you're enjoying it.

I really enjoyed being a SAHM and it certainly does cost less staying at home. I lived in a pair of £9.99 black fleece trousers most of last winter and now I'm back at work I'm rediscovering my old work clothes again. Bells I am so glad you are enjoying your summer. I had a feeling you would.

I like my new job lots, but after my time as an SAHM, I think it would have been impossible for me to do another long hours full-of-stress job so I had to do a step sideways and find a more familuy friendly set up. When I went to interviews for jobs similar to my last, I knew my fake keeness at the interview would have evaporated within the first week of working. That's the downside of me becoming a SAHM I think. It changed me for good.

Exactly Tigermoth, I have no doubt that the optimum (for me anyway) would eventually be to work child friendly hours a few days a week but there is no way on earth I would return to anything involving any stress / pressure etc. I know what you mean about the clothes - I wasn't prepared for how dirty one gets and also how little you care about how you look. Am definitely going to have to get a cheapie and eminently washable new wardrobe.

BK, you have a point. DD gets a lot of entertainment from watching DS and he does give hera constant supply of toys. But if one more complete stranger asks me if I have seen a specialist about the fact that she isn't walking, I shall scream!!.

Can I just say how angry it makes me this whole arguement about working mothers. The media always make out that it's a decision made exclusively by the mother whereas I totally believe this is a society issue and not one for individuals. Society, business, government etc. seem to forget that if it wasn't for the fact that increasing numbers of mothers have returned to work sooner and sooner after having babies - the economy would not be as strong as it is today.

Think about it - us working mothers bring more cash into the home, more disposable income to spend in the wider economy. The relatively recent decision by banks to use joint salaries in deciding how much to lend on mortgages has undoubtedly driven up house prices (generally considered to be a "good thing" in the economy) - and that wouldn't be possible without working mothers. Any by paying taxes we are contributing back to the public purse and reimbursing the government for the cost of our education (Trade and Industry secretary Patricia Hewitt (or is it Tessa Jowell) recently said that SAHM;s are wasting the money tax payers spent on their education or something like that).

Yet despite how much business benefit from us, they, in the form of our employers, rarely help us. This new flexible working law brought in in April is a waste of time. If you are lucky you get what you want but it's a massive compromise and you have to make sure the company comes first.

My S is 16 months. I went back to work at 3 months because my partner stayed off until he was 11 months when he got a job. S is now in full-time nursery. He loves it, doing well, they are nice and it's not a problem. BUT I would rather he could be there 3 days a week not 5. However due to the waste of space maternity pay we need both of us to work full-time to save up for when we have another one. If my partner could take 6 months off that would be fine but the sexist maternity pay laws assume that the mother earns a bit of pin money with daddy as the breadwinner. I am the main earner in our family so if we want child2 to be at home until 8 months or so then that's 8 months on my partner's income which is not going to be easy. (should have married a millionaire like my mum said )

So let's start a campaign for proper flexibility at work. Like a RIGHT to work flexibly unless the employer can PROVE it is detrimental to business. Like making bigger companies have a manager responsible for managing flexible working and finding jobshares etc. Like removing the "parents of children under 5" stipulation - so that parents of 6 year olds can take more time off in school holidays.

Personally I am dreading when S starts school and we have to juggle the shorter school hours, the long holidays etc. I'd love to be able to drop him off and pick him up and I want him to spend his school holidays running free not cooped up in a kids club at the local leisure centre (which I'm sure is great and he'd love - just not what I want). Our parents live 150+ miles away so they can't help.

I shall probably have to give up my lucrative IT job and do teacher training (ATTENTION GOVERNMENT I WILL BE PAYING LESS TAX THAT WAY!!!!)unless something changes.

Long rant - sorry - but everytime I see an article assuming that returning to work is exclusively a personal thing it makes my blood boil.

Lucy you have to move to the nordic countries, they do all those things you listed. meanwhile we ahve to wait until women take over the UK government