For those of you who have a partner on shifts & DC how do you make it work?

[NormaSknockers]

I'm currently a SAHM, DD is 3 & DS 1. I got made redundant when DD was 1 week old but worked out ok & have been at home with the DC ever since. DD goes to nursery 2 days a week & DS is home full time, we'll look at him starting nursery once he's turned 2.

DH is talking about me going back to work, we're not broke, we're managing. Things are tighter then we would like but we manage, the bills gets paid, the mortage gets paid, the DC don't want for anything & I do a few things here & there (like selling the kids old clothes in eBay) to give me a little of my own money. In itself getting a job is not an issue although I have no idea where I would get a job but my issue is this;

DH is a PC & as such works shifts, they vary frequently & can change at a moments notice, he has unplanned overtime frequently, works weekends, evenings, early mornings etc etc. Now if/when I return to work how the heck is it going to work? I'm going to have to into an interview stating that I can only work between the hours of 9:30-2:30 (to allow for school/nursery etc) I can't work weekends or evenings & I would need every school holiday, every bank holiday & every non pupil day off including the 6 weeks summer holidays - who in their right mind is going to employ me?

I don't have other family members who could help with childcare, it would fall solely on my shoulders to sort out so if one of the DC were ill it would me who would have to take the day off work, DH wouldn't be able to do that (well he might be able to but he wouldn't) if one of the DC needed picking up again that would fall on me, doctors, dentist etc etc would all fall on me. So I'm going to have phone in & take days off on these occassions, I'm a real catch work wise aren't I

DH is not listning to me, he is not hearing what I'm saying he's saying I can go & work in Iceland or something as their rotas only work 1 week in advance (our local one does anyway as DH used to work there) but why shouldn't I be able to go work somewhere that I actually want to work? Or is that being to selfish? Should I just work wherever I can & shut up moaning? Is anyone going to employ me knowing how infelxible I am?

How do you make it work?

sleepy - I've never ever once said that I don't think I'm lucky. I know exactly how lucky I am to be able to stay at home with my DC & I would never take for that granted. I am incredibly lucky to have been at home for this long & know full well it's solely down to DH working all the hours that he does & keeping us afloat on his own.

We're going through a blib as DH has been moved to a different role which means he doesn't have any O/T at all available to him which means things have gotten so tight we can barely breath so this was posted in a panic moment as I thought 'oh crap. I need to help us out of this but how?' so wondered how on Earth others managed it! My DC are 3 & 1 and far to young for holiday clubs, I haven't worked in over 3 years since my company closed down & I was in that job 5 years almost straight out of collage so the propect of starting a new job is daunting enough without trying to figure out I'm going to have my children cared for.

Fortunately it's looking like if DH hangs tight for a while we'll be ok but I will still be looking for work once DS starts nursery so I'm still going to have the childcare issues & just wanted to know how other families in this situation got around it. I think I'm going to go for a supermarket check out job as the one local to us works on a weekly rosta so I should be able to work around DHs shifts, it's a far cry from my previous job but needs must & they'll be flexible enough (hopefully) for my needs.

Mithered - yes he's entitled to parental leave but he's only able to do that if it's a job he can leave in the middle of. He can't be half way through an arrest, or giving evidence at court & say sorry I have to go now. He's a response driver so is very often on the road so it would be near impossible to rely on him to collect one of the DC if they were ill. I would love to turn the card making into a business but it just wouldn't work, I wouldn't make enough profit so will keep that as a hobby

Instead of going out to work, could you work from home as a childminder? It won't pay much, but you'll always be available for your dc when your dh can't be.

Blue I thought about that as thought it would work really well, DH pulled the face - shall have to push a little further on that issue & find out what the face is WRT! Your name made me btw as DDs fav book is about a Blue Kangaroo!

You're in a very similar position to me. And it really gets to me when people say that I'm deliberately finding it hard because I dont actually want to work! ds2 is in nursery another year, and it really doesnt add up to pay childcare while I work, especially if I had to pay for both of them at one end of the school day or the other. And chances are I'd have to travel a little to get to work, so would need more hours of childcare than I'd be working iyswim.
We are seriously skint, have taken out another loan on the mortgage to cover our overspend each month, but thats not going to last till next October.
Dh is on a shift pattern, so is out of the house either 5.50am-5.30pm, 11am-11pm, or sometimes 9am-8pm. He also works weekends, and gets overtime at short notice. He also has to do some nights now, so is out 3pm-7am. He cant change shifts except in a huge emergency, and then only if there's someone else on site to cover him. And he cant turn down overtime. We have no family here. And when I looked before, I couldnt find a single childminder that would do odd and varying shifts, and definitely not weekends.

I started a thread on this ages ago, and got shot down in flames and told I was making things harder than they were, and that if I needed a job I'd just get one. I'm so adament that my children wont be passed from pillar to post; we have one friend in particular whose son used to be with 4 or 5 different people during the course of one day, and he was so confused, poor thing. Routine and stability is so important, especially when children are so young. But alot of people on my old thread thought I was using that as an excuse.

Unfortunately in my experience, it does not get easier as the children go to school. I have 2 ten year olds. They go to a village school where there is no before or after school club, and there is only one childminder whose books are permanently full. In the last year my husbands job has changed so that he now works anywhere in the country on any day of the week for no extra pay. His pay is not fantastic. Put it this way, we only just miss out on working family tax credits. I used to work evenings and weekends, but now cannot even do that. We also have no family to help.

I do avon to bring in extra money but this really only amounts to pin money.

Everybody's circumstances are different, and nobody can judge somebody for not working outside the home for an income.