Would you become a housewife if you could?

[morleylass]

The reason I say housewife rather than sahm is that both my dc are at school now so during the day in term time I wouldn't have any kids around.
Due to a change in circumstances I could potentially not work now for a year or two - although it would mean that we wouldn't have foreign holidays and extras. I would however not have all the rushing around, leaving the house each day at 7.30 am and arranging holiday care, sickness cover etc. I could also get things done during the day time so that when the kids came home I could spend time with them rather than saying that I'm busy all the time.
But am I mad to even consider this? - i do my job purely for the money, certainly not for the love of it, but it is part time and they are flexible, so I know I am fortunate.
Would you consider it or am I being precious?

ML

I wouldn't, but then I like my job, and would go mad! Also, what will happen when you need to go back to work? Will you be deskilled? Will you be able to find work?

No.My life would lack meaning unless I was in paid employment doing something useful and satisfying.

I've been forced into housewife status due to sickness that meant stopping work 8 months ago. Because of generous company benefits I remain an employee and still get paid even though I can't work, so DS goes to nursery and I'm not allowed to study or take another job (obviously).

It's definitely changed the dynamic in mine and DH's relationship, and I am struggling to come to terms with not feeling as "worthy" in the family, even though I still bring in a wage.

Days are boring too as all my friends work.

Moreleylass - I have just done exactly that. I "retired" at the end of January after over 20 years of working and the past 2 years commuting between London and Abu Dhabi every 2 weeks. I have two young children! So, I made enough money to not have to work for a couple of years at least. First few months were fabulous - well, in that, my mother died 2 weeks after I retired and then I had a couple of months of sorting things out and I was occupied, plus I did my family tree, put my feet up a lot, watched oodles of daytime TV, went to the gym a few times..... and then started to think I was a little bored. So - I thought, perhaps I could do a bit of consultancy work - but I don't REALLY want to get too into stuff, get stressed etc. THEN I fell pregnant - well that scuppered everything. Now it is as much as I can do to get up off the sofa each day (I'm now 16 weeks) and at the same time I am completely and utterly bored yet can't acctually be bothered to do anything other than sit and feel sorry for myself - obviously a hormonal issue on top of very active working mother now bored.

We are all different people with different characteristics etc - however, I think you should think very carefully about exactly how you will plan your days and if you think you have enough to do without going out of your mind, then sure, go for it - but a part-time flexible job is a bit of a luxury too that a lot of people would give their hind teeth.

Conclusion - I'm glad I know what its like not to work now, but I probably wouldn't do the exact same thing again.

I would be a semi-sahm..it would be soo relaxing..and I could be with my DCs not just shouty in the mornings and pooped in the evening as it is now...don't think I could ever stop work completely though

Why do people feel they are not 'worthy' if they are not bringing in a wage. If you died tomorrow, would the person who takes over (nanny or au-pair) would they be 'worthy' because they get paid?

i hate my job - i would rather sit on my arse all day

Have only read the OP so I give an honest opinion, if I only did my job for the money and could afford to live without the wage then I would do in a shot.

Dp only works part time from home, so that he can effectively be a full time parent , support me in my career and relieve the stress of two career living and it has made life much more pleasant for everyone. That is worth more than any amount of money IMO.

I'm more of a SAHM than a housewife, because DS is still with me all the time until he starts state nursery at 3yo.

I do intend to return to the workforce but gave up my career to turn all my attention on the home, raising DS and being around all the time for him.

It does have it's moment, like others have said, but I have absolutely no regrets about giving up my career.

I always make sure there are activities to do during the week, or on the days DH is at work (he sometimes works weekends). If you are creative enough, you can turn 'housewife' or SAHM into something positive.

I have nothing against women who choose to work PT/FT, and I understand why they want to do this (or infact need to) but I just felt it wasn't right for my personal circumstances. I know how lucky I am to be in this position, and never forget it.

When DS starts at school full-time, I will then be able to focus more on training (in a different career) and also focus more on my hobbies until I feel it is the right time to return to (paid) working again.

If you can afford it, then go for it, IMO.

I would say that if you don't really like your job that much and can still have enough self-respect if you don't work (I'm not saying you shouldn't have lots of respect for being a SAHM! Just that I think it's hard not to lose part of one's identity by giving up work.) then go for it once the kids are at school. Just think of all the interesting things you could do - do a degree in a subject that has always interested you, learn a musical instrument or another language, go to visit places, read books you've wanted to read, watch all the episodes of Jeremy Kyle you've ever wanted to watch etc. etc. Or just have lots of nice lunches out and go shopping. But maybe just for a year. I think after that it could get very boring. And you'd need enough money to have some fun rather than feeling guilty every time you went to Starbucks. The thing I would never do is be a SAHM whilst the kids were NOT at school! Now that would drive me utterly, utterly bonkers. I work full-time and wouldn't have it any other way. I am a teacher and put DD into nursery 3 or 4 days a week in the hols so I can go in to work and get on with things as I have a huge workload. I think I actually had mild PND when on maternity leave but brushed it aside. It was only when I went back to work that I felt myself again. But everyone is different, I guess.

I did a job I loved and initially gave up to care for DS2 as he has severe SN. But all the children are now at school now but I am still here .
I have to say that people posting on here make assumptions about how it would be but until you do it you honestly don't really know.
It really is only boring if you choose to do nothing that interests you.If you have few interests outside your current work then you would have to find ways to replace that part of your life. I have always had interests that work left me little time for and so , once the children went to school it was great to be able to enjoy those.

And the stuff about being a 50's housewife or your DHs housekeeper is not the case. You will only become a 50's housewife if that potential exists within your relationship with your DH/DP. My DH respects and values me and always has so that is not an issue.

I enjoy my life enormously amd am never bored.

I would say though I have experienced this when finances were tight and when they were not.
I think if we couldn't afford some things and I was always concerned about money I would find it much less enjoyable. So you would have to be very clear in your own mind about what you are giving up.

So I guess only you know about that. But boredom and being less of an individual is not the outcome that some seem to assume - unless that is already within your relationship.

I second that, pagwatch. It is amusing the find all the assumptions that have posted on here, but are they really true? no. if you already have a full-on life and enjoy various hobbies, then being a housewife can never be boring!!