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Original poster

Would you become a housewife if you could?

63 replies

morleylass · 29/06/2009 16:45

The reason I say housewife rather than sahm is that both my dc are at school now so during the day in term time I wouldn't have any kids around.
Due to a change in circumstances I could potentially not work now for a year or two - although it would mean that we wouldn't have foreign holidays and extras. I would however not have all the rushing around, leaving the house each day at 7.30 am and arranging holiday care, sickness cover etc. I could also get things done during the day time so that when the kids came home I could spend time with them rather than saying that I'm busy all the time.
But am I mad to even consider this? - i do my job purely for the money, certainly not for the love of it, but it is part time and they are flexible, so I know I am fortunate.
Would you consider it or am I being precious?

ML

OP posts:
elastamum · 01/07/2009 22:44

I agree with SGB, being able to support my family has given me the freedom to build a new life for us. However, if I had enough dosh in the bank I would quit tomorrow!

elastamum · 01/07/2009 22:44

I agree with SGB, being able to support my family has given me the freedom to build a new life for us. However, if I had enough dosh in the bank I would quit tomorrow!

SlartyBartFast · 01/07/2009 22:48

i enjoyed being at home when the dc';s were pre-schoolers, and i enjoy workign part time and would like to stay part time with days off,
however on my days off i don't seem to have enough time to get anythign done.
i don't think i could stand a whole week at home, talking to the walls,

thumbwitch · 01/07/2009 22:48

I thought, before I had DS, that I would love to be able to give up work and be a housewife and SAHM. I do love being a SAHM, but I also feel the need to do something that brings in some money so that I am not fully dependent on DH - his attitude is partly to blame for this, but it's not just him, it is ingrained in me to be at least partially independent.

So, while I like the idea, I wouldn't do it unless I had a private source of income (like someone left me a load of money or I won a fair whack on the lottery).

However, the job I do, I can do from home which helps my situation a lot.

DontCallMeBaby · 01/07/2009 22:57

I had a load of time off last year when DD started school, and did think it would be excellent to be the SAHM of one school-age child - my house has never been so clean, and I was sure I could find stuff to fill the rest of the time. In the longer run, I'm not sure I would, or at least that oddly it's work that gives me the energy and resources to do the other stuff.

As it is, I work pretty much school hours, so I get to both have a paid job AND be there for DD all the time she's not in school. What gives? House! Can barely type for dust ...

foofi · 01/07/2009 23:00

Have just given up work. Don't describe myself as a 'housewife' - generally just say that I don't work. TBH my house is no tidier or cleaner than it was when I worked. I get a lot less done in a day atm, but I am a lot happier! This obviously rubs off on the other members of the family who don't have to deal with my stress.

Horton · 01/07/2009 23:14

I would LOVE to stay at home full time. At the moment, I only work 18 hours a week so I am pretty lucky I think but staying at home all the time would be absolutely blissful. I honestly don't think I'd get bored at all.

Karam · 02/07/2009 22:43

Would you enjoy it? Personally, it sounds like my worst nightmare. I couldn't imagine anything worse than having to be a housewife, but horses for courses and all that - if you think you'd enjoy it, then go for it... me on the other hand will stick to my cushy part time job

Grandhighpoohba · 02/07/2009 23:32

Its not for me. Have just gone back to work 30 hours. Love my DS very much, but I need my own life too. As much as I enjoyed 9 months at home with him, was beginning to feel like I was fading away - nothing to talk to friends/partner about other than poo and cbeebies. But then, I was a bit isolated from friends where we live. And I hate housework! I think it will be better for him in the long run that I am happy with my life. Now, if I could only sort out the nagging, irrational guilt I feel when I leave in the morning...

mrsmaidamess · 02/07/2009 23:36

Been there.

Done that

Shrunk the tee shirt.

clemette · 02/07/2009 23:39

I would do it if I got paid and didn't have to look after the children all day ... I miss my child free summer holidays of pottering.
But I suspect the novelty would wear off after a couple of months - have you read Marilyn French's the Women's Room?

zanz1bar · 07/07/2009 14:55

It depends on how you measure your personal success or failures.

I am over educated, multiple degrees but I have never had a career that defines me, just a lot of jobs.

You have to make sure that your marriage is a partnership with shared goals and aims or it is very easy to fall into a 1950's timewarp.

For me the money I could bring in was not worth the cost of childcare and the stress involved but then my Dc are still young although all now at school/nursery.

Orissiah · 08/07/2009 12:38

I enjoy my job and am on a career path, plus I work fulltime by choice not financial need. BUT: if my LO was at school and I did not work, I know I would love it: I would read loads of books, I would garden, I would go into town and check out art exhibitions (usually free in London) and museums, I would do yoga, I would listen to music, I would go for long long walks, I would have a nap whenever I wanted, I would try out new recipes, I would write fiction... the possibilities are endless!

MillieCow · 08/07/2009 21:09

Absolutely, in a heartbeat. My world revolves around my DD and I loved being at home on maternity leave. It isn't "just being at home", there is so much to plan for them, aid their development and frankly I just love her company - she's one and just so engaging, there is never a moment of inactivity - we can draw, read, go for walks, swim, play music, you know there is so much to do, every simple task becomes so much fun, as well as a learning experience. And never in my life have I ever felt so fulfilled.

I have to work for the mortgage but don't really like what I do for a living - and I am a professional, the sort of real career people aspire to and get stuck into. But it doesn't really interest me anymore! I just have to keep going because I have to do the best by my family.

I think it depends on the individual, but I would give up work tomorrow. There are so many things you can do whilst being a SAHM, not just coffees and hoovering.

That said, I see as much as I possibly can of my DD and tbh I have SAHM friends who see less of their children than I do as they use nursery and babysitters to have a break. I work part time and keep my hours as strictly as I can, don't do a drop of housework until she is in bed every night. Barely sleep but have much more time with DD, so definitely worth it.

nkf · 08/07/2009 21:17

I don't think I would. I hate housework and it would preoccupy me too much if I were at home while my children were at school.

MamaMuesli · 08/07/2009 21:25

No, because I like my job and i like the balance, but I'm all for working as little or as much fits your priorities and i think more people should consider working part time even without kids, if they can. Money isn't the only goal.

Mamulik · 12/07/2009 15:25

never ever, so boring

twopeople · 12/07/2009 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jellybeans · 12/07/2009 15:41

Yes, I did and it's fab. When the kids are at school you can get all the housework out the way or just sit and relax, meet friends etc. I feel so relieved when the DC say they have an event at school etc as know I can easily be there without trying to juggle stuff.

I am doing an OU degree and volunteer so am never bored (and also if need to go back to work have updated skills). I feel empowered, having opted out of the more materialistic life (working for more holidays, better car, nice clothes etc) I had before. It's also great living on one wage as if DH became unable to work, I can.

I don't feel I need paid work, at present, so would rather keep my time for me/my family than sell it to an employer.

cheeryface · 12/07/2009 20:24

solidgoldbrass has got it right imo
i have been a sahm for 13 years and thats the situation that has developed between myself and dp so much so that i am now looking for work and considering going it alone.
trouble is i have no skills and being out of the workforce looks so crap on my cv that im struggling even to get called for an interview for anything.
my kids also seem to think that all i am here for is to serve despite me trying to get them to do their own chores independently and tbh i think its been a little bit too cushty for them having me by their sides in absolutely everything.

lupo · 27/07/2009 17:38

if money was not an issue..I would do it in a heartbeat..as long as I had some disposable income to go to the gym, shopping , maybe pursue a hobby..could easily spend the hours between school drop off and pick up..would love love love it

Goldberry · 27/07/2009 18:01

Am about to do this myself. Dd starts school in September. Ds is 15 months. Couldn't afford to give up work when dd was born, but dh has since been promoted. I think that when dd was born I was kidding myself into thinking I wanted to keep working, whereas rally it was because I felt we couldn't manage it financially. But now we've made the decision I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I'm part time at the moment, but feel that I don't have the time to do anything properly. House is always a mess and on my days off I feel like I'm constantly fobbing dc's off in order to get some housework done (when the reason I went part-time was to spend more time with them, not the housework). I think it will also help my blood pressure which has never quite gone back down since being pregnant with ds.

Ripeberry · 27/07/2009 18:08

You could take up a hobby, learn a new skill, volunteer at the school or pre-school, hundreds of things.
Only boring people are bored

ninah · 27/07/2009 18:21

don't do it! there is only so much dog walking and pta you can take in one day, week, year ... if you are part-time and flexible maybe you could take a bit of unpaid leave for a specific house/garden project?

ninah · 27/07/2009 18:22

and sadly no, not only boring people get bored, if only that were true
what about ironing? effing deadly

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