a few question for anyone who is/ has a partner in the POLICE FORCE

[noonar]

dh is considering a career change as he's self employed and is being hit hard by the current financial climate.

at the age of 18 he applied to join the police force and didnt get in. 18 years later, he wants to try again to fulfill this ambition and map out a new career for himself.

i am very keen for him to do a job that i know he would love and be really, really good at.

however, i do have a few reservations. in a nutshell, i am very concerned about how shift work would impact on family life.

also, i am a p/t teacher with 2 young school age children. i am just getting to the point in my career/ life as a mum when i would like to think about increasing my hours. having dh doing shift work would rule this out, i think. (does that sound selfish??)

leisure time/ holidays are another issue. i wonder if he could guarantee being allowed time off during the holidays...

what are shift patterns like?

what would it be like being a mature 'probationer'?

sorry... rambling. sorry, so many questions i could ask...

any advice/ info greatly appreciated

anyone?

Hi there,

My DH is a PC, he joined after I met him so have been through the entire process with him.

The entry is very different now, when DH joined he had to go away for 5 months to Ashford in Kent for his training, sit several exams & take part in a Passing Out Parade at the end. There was also some other training based more locally in Chelmsford. He was then placed under a tutor (who we are now best friends with & who is also Godfather to our 2 DC) for 6 months in which he then had to be 'signed off'

But it's all change now, I think Ashford has been scrapped & tutoring is now much more local.

As far as I'm aware there is still an entrance exam as well as a fitness test involved as well as an interview.

Shifts are hard going if I'm completely honest.

There are many occassions where DH isn't home on time, to process the paper work for an arresst can take 4+ hours & he makes an arrest shortly before he's due to finish work then I know it will be hours before I see him. He often gets kept on for one reason or another.

The hours are long, stressful & the paperwork is endless.

DH gets called all sorts of names, he gets spat on, sworn at & recieves both verbal & physical abuse. (A lady recetly attacked him & he required a tetnus shot, she was taken to court & found guilty).

On average he gets 2 days off every 7 & it works out that he gets Xmas off once every 7 years.

DH is a response driver & has completed many driving courses to enable him to recieve his reponse licence.

He is often going on training days & refresher courses.

The trouble with days off/holidays there is never 100% guarantee that it will be uninterupted, if a court date comes up he can have his leave cancelled at a days notice so sometimes planning things can be tricky.

That doesn't happen all the time but be prepared that he will recieve calls on his days off.

The shift patterns down here are Earlys, 6am-2pm, Lates 2pm-10pm, Nights 10pm-6am.

DH is on a slightly different shift pattern at the moment as he currently in a different role.

One of the lovely things about being a PC is all the opportunitys, so many different areas you can apply for - DH has one or two (such as Dog Handler) that he would one day like to do.

He has changed stations a few times but this has never been a big impact as we live in the middle of the two stations he has been posted to.

In a nutshell.....it's bloody hard being married to a copper, me & my friends refer to us as 'Police Widows' the days are long, the job is stressful, dangerous & overtime is a given.

HOWEVER I have never been prouder of my DH, he is good at his job, he was born to be in this role & he single handidly provides for us.

Most recently he recieved a letter from a gentleman that DH had to look after when he went to a sudden death & he was very moved by the letter, he said it was things like that, that made of for the crap he has to take.

I'm sorry I've really waffled on here - if there's anything you'd like to ask please feel free, I'll be more then happy to answer.

mrs magoo, thankyou so so much for taking the time to reply at such length

i do have a few questions...

you mentioned leave being cancelled. surely that couldnt happen on the eve of a foreign holiday? would he be expected to miss his annual holiday??

do you find that you can never plan ahead for weekends away, nights out with friends etc as you might not know shifts far in adavnce?

xmas at home once every 7 years...geez...

also, how old are your dcs, out of interest. mine are 4 and 6.

xxx

if they are late home do his still have to go in on time for the next shift? what about sleep?? do they get O/T if they are delayed?

My dp's brother is in the police. He joined later on (in his 30s) and has had quite a few different roles. Seems to like it, but like MrsMagoo's dh, has to do lots of unexpected overtime, additional shifts etc. Eg we were there at the weekend for a night out (booked long in advance) but he couldn't go at last minute.

Noonar. I am in the Force and am in effect a single mother with an 8yr old and 4 yr old DSs. i also work full time.

You probably need to find out what shifts they do initially in your choosen Force as it does seem to vary greatly. It would also be worth talking to soemone in your choosen force as shifts seem to vary greatly between forces as does the actual role and expectations in different forces.

In my force (oop North!) front line staff work 10 hour shifts and so have extra days off. Due to them working 10 hour shifts there is less of an expectation for them to stay on with prisoners and they are expected to handover to the following shift. The only time they do tend to get kept on after shift is if there is some sort of major incident where it's all hadns to the pump but these are really few and far between.

Yes leave can get cancelled due to court etc but having said that you are expected to keep your leave up to date so that court dates aren't set when you are on leave. In 20 years it's never happened to me and I can't think of anyone else it's happened to. When a case goes to court you provide your dates of unavailabilty and if they choose to set it on one of those dates you are in a strong position to not attend (certainly if there is a prebooked engagement).

There has to be 11 hours between each shift so if you finish late you start late. If you needed to finsih at the same time however you'd have to book some hours off. Yes constables and sgts get paid OT if they are delayed but not Insps and above.

With regards to things liek Christmas New year etc the Police tend to have minimum staffing levels so the whole shift isn't exepcted to work. For example my shift when I first started had 16 staff but only 8 were allowed to work Bank holidays as we get paid double time. You can of course apply to have time off at Christmas but you tend to have to book well in advaqnce as in my Force they only allow 15% leave at times of high demand.

You have to remeber that once out of your two year probation there are lots of other jobs that can be applied for and these may not involve shifts. Also my force, and I would imagine most forces do push the whole work/life balance so you can apply for part-time wotking or some other flexible working arrangement.

I think it is something that you can get used to. I have always felt I try to amke sure I have quality family time when I am off but my boys have never known me to work conventional hours so they are not bothered by it.

Perkin Warbeck - out of interest, to get into the CID do you have to be an ordinary policeperson first, and if so for how many years (approximately?) TIA

I'm afraid it can hunni, if a court date comes up then he has to appear. For an example DH had some leave last week, he got a call on Monday to appear in court on Tuesday. There is no choice, you have to go.

The only way to get out of something like is to be dead tbh!!

DH was recently very ill but as he didn't have a doctors note he had to drag himserlf to court.

If he is late off then the only thing he can do is go in a few hours late but that then means he finishes a few hours late also as he has to complete a full shift.

O/T is paid at time & a half but only after the first half an hour, the first half hour goes to the Queen

If his leave gets cancelled he gets double time for that day.

As Perkin said you will need to make sure you are able to pick up the DC, take them to appts etc etc as you just cannot guarantee DH will be there.

That said they were excellent when I went into premature labour (33 weeks) they gave DH a week off to look after DD so I could rest (hospital managed to halt labour) with no questions asked & recieved a welfare call to ensure all was fine.

Our DD is 2 & our DS is 4 months

Oh re shifts, generally we have his shift rota about 10 weeks ahead but these chop & change so frequently that I take very little notice of it!!

I don't know how you policepeople do your job, I really don't. Along with firepeople and god bless them, paramedics who are seriously underrated by some to my intense irritation.

I was most annoyed watching a programme called Hospital Heroes (or something) where they described the real heroes as the surgeons (as opposed to paramedics). They are all heroes in my eyes, surgeons and paramedics and anyone else who saves lives often at risk of their own. Imagine turning up to a terrible accident as part of the emergency servies, in the course of your everyday job, week in week out. I really am in awe.

Sorry, I completely digressed there

Shouldn't your name be Nee-nar?

Sorry, had to be done!

And I have to admit the one thing you NEVER have to worry about in my job is getting made redundant!!! I really don't know how I would cope if I had the threat of redundnacy hanging over my head.

DP was made redundant several years ago and didn 't get a 'proper' job for three years. He now works away alot (which is why i describe myself as a single Mum!!) and we all really apprecaite family time together because to be honest it doesn't really ahppen much.

Well yes Perkin Warbeck . I have always been interested in detective work rather than general policing as such. My grandad was a DI in the CID, his father was in the force before him and I always wish I'd explored it too.

I split up with my boyfriend about 4yrs ago as I could not stand the shifts and I was young free and single so could not imagine it with kids!

BTW, my DH works in law enforcement working very long, unpredictable and irregular hours. Same thing applies to him re court cases as others have said.

My 2 boys are 2 and 4 and I have been a SAHM during the week as I just haven't been able to rely on him for anything to do with childcare. The odd day's leave also has to be cancelled sometimes. And he is forever getting phone calls from colleagues during his days off. As an example, he is not going to see DS1 AT ALL tomorrow on his 5th birthday. It's a bit but to be honest, they've grown up with things being unpredictable, and are used to it. I'm used to it too now, although to be honest, I am glad that I have been able to be a SAHM to provide some stability for them with at least ONE parent!

I have family that are in the force and I wanted to comment on the working Christmas...has has only actually worked 1 in 7.

In his force they ask for volunteers ( and draw out of a hat if there aren;t enough volunteers) to do Christmas and new year. The unwritten rule is that the non-parents do Christmas (which is actually preferable to New Year!) - and the parents do new year - so there can be flexibility as long as the shifts are covered.

My thoughts too Curly, DH's job enables me to be a SAHM & I'm glad that the DC always have boring old reliable Mum about at all times

I have to say though DD is a Daddys girl through & through & simply adores her Daddy, his shifts are rotten & I spend much of my time alone but on his days off or the time before/after work he makes an extra special effort to read with DD, or make cakes with her

It's not easy & alot of the time I feel like a single parent but we make it work.

DH has his first Xmas Day off in 5 years & I'm thrilled, especially with it being DS's first Xmas!

My DH is also in the police and I can only echo what others have said.

It is possibly one of the most family unfriendly jobs I have come across. There is no way I can rely on DH to help with childcare, pick up from nursery etc as he can't guarantee he'll be home when his shift finishes.

To answer your question over what happens when you do overtime - technically they are supposed to have 11 hours between shifts, however last night dh got in from a 16 hour shift only to have to be at work 9 hours later for a special operation. His rest days are a nightmare because the first day off is spent recovery from working the last seven.

However, DH was a mature entrant and really benefited from having some life experience and loves his job - I'm happy to take a back seat career wise until dd is at school although have just got a very family friendly job. I think its about getting a balance between both of your career aspirations.

I have been thinking alot about this today with regards this thread and to the OP going back to work fulltime. I really do beleive it is doable as long as DP is willing to negotiate at work. Yes sometimes you do have to stay on but in all honesty if you have a commitment on a particular day a good supervisor will endeavour to ensure you do finish on time and are relieved by another officer.

The problem is particularly with men that they still regard child related things as the woman's responsibility and won't ask to vary shifts,leave early etc etc. As a supervisor myself I have often been very frustrated where both parties are 'in the job' with the same levels of repsonsibility but it is the woman who is constantly expected to alter shifts, leave early etc etc to accomodate child care issues whilst he mades no adjustments whatsover.

I once supervised a married couple (not at the same time they were in different departments). If she needed time off, alter shifts it was invariably to do with childcare. However he never once asked for those reasons but he never wanted to work over or was always asking for weekends off not for childcare but so he could play rugby!

I think it is a bit of a cultural thing (the school always phones me rather than DP if there is a school issue even though i am the main breadwinner and am in the promtion system) however it is changing. We had a male officer in our office who had his daughter every tuesday overnight and needed to pick her up from school and drop her off on the Weds as the result of a court order. We managed to accomodate that and other officers would step in when people have genuine reasons for getting off. It's just that a lot of men find it difficult to ask.

Having said that a lot of men do end up more married to the job than their partners. They work all hours God sends and choose to work almost every rest day going. They are also the ones who will volunteer to stay on to deal with prisoners. However I can't help but feel that they must tell their partners that they 'have' to rather than it being their choice.

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but I have been thinking alot about it today.