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Original poster

Is it madness to be considering working from home with baby in house?

49 replies

snhall · 28/11/2008 18:02

Hello, new here. I am 9 mths pregnant with my first child (no experience of babies before!) and had initally planned to put in a flexible working request with my employer asking to move from a standard 5 days in the office, to 2 days in office, 3 days working from home. The 3 days working from home I would ask to have true flexibility on my hours - so maybe keep a timesheet, but basically be able to dip in and out of work in order to care for baby too. Is this madness? My job is fairly self contained - ie its not like I would need to be on the phone a lot to customers etc.

I am starting to be a little more realistic and thinking that on the 3 days I WFH that I could get childcare for maybe a set 2-3 hours to give me a set time when I know I'll be able to get stuff done (and the office know I'll be contactable).

What do you think? My employer has an existing culture of homeworking and a flexitime system (tho rarely used). Their paperwork does say that they won't agree a homeworking request as an alternative to child care arrangements.

Has anyone done anything similar??

OP posts:
Miyazaki · 28/11/2008 18:06

yes, it kind of is. And this is homeworking as an alternative to child care, so I'd be careful with this kind of request. You will need childcare for the full amount of time you are working for. You won't have time to dip in and out of work as and when during the day with a baby.

VersdeSociete · 28/11/2008 18:06

Complete madness. You need as many hours of childcare as you plan to do hours of work. I tried to do some freelance work with a poorly-sleeping baby in a sling tied to me. It is a recipe for exhaustion and horror

Miyazaki · 28/11/2008 18:07

Sorry - yes it kind of is madness that should have said.

Miyazaki · 28/11/2008 18:08

And welcome to MN btw!

VersdeSociete · 28/11/2008 18:09

Yes welcome! All of those hours babies allegedly sleep may be in tiny bursts / on your lap...

MeMySonAndI · 28/11/2008 18:11

This reminds me of the picture I had in my mind while pregnant... DS playing peacefully in his travel cot to the side of my desk while I worked in my research... impossible.

StarlightMcKenzie · 28/11/2008 18:15

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ChairmumMiaow · 28/11/2008 18:17

I thought I'd be able to get stuff done when DS napped (DH and I run our own business).

In reality, I hate staying at home, do no housework except the shopping and dinner and maybe get work done while DS is in the house (and DH isn't) once a month when there's something I can do that coincides with a time when DS is actually napping in his cot.

Yes, slightly mad, unless by some chance you get a routine feeder and napper, but I don't know many of those!

Original poster
snhall · 28/11/2008 18:17

Oh heck. I thought you might say that. For the existing flexi time system the core hours are 10 til 12 and then 2 till 4. So in theory I could get away with childcare for just those 4 hours and make up the other time evenings etc? But then that won't work either because any childminder would need to have baby from 10 all the way through till 4 anyway.
I think I need to go and look at my finances - hadn't banked on having to pay for childcare 5 full days a week...

Thank you all for the kind welcome btw!

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 28/11/2008 18:51

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StarlightMcKenzie · 28/11/2008 18:55

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 28/11/2008 18:57

I worked from home for 2 days a week when I went back to work (DS was 11 months). He went to a CM for those 2 days or I never would have got anything done! In your situation maybe an au pair would be better?

I then upped my hours to 3 days a week with no extra childcare for 6 months - have to say this was one of the most knackering periods of my life! It meant that I had to be fitting in the work as soon as DS went for his afternoon nap, working in the evening, and sometimes at weekends. It meant that paid work sort of bled into the week and I never felt 'off duty'.

motherinferior · 28/11/2008 19:01

It is, in my experience, only remotely possible to combine work and kids once they're about five or older, and ideally have siblings and/or other company.

And mine are reading MN over my shoulder at the moment which kind of invalidates even that argument .

flowerybeanbag · 28/11/2008 19:09

It is indeed madness, and your employer quite rightly points out that they won't allow it. You can't care for a baby and work at the same time, you just can't. It's not fair on you, the baby, your employer or your colleagues.

Welcome

domesticslattern · 28/11/2008 20:16

snhall, when you have a baby you will have a job- a 24/7 job. You will be a childcarer, a cleaner, a cook, a child psychologist... all in one. Believe me, you will have a lot less spare time than you think, and it may be many months before you get a full nights sleep. And when your baby is older and more reliably napping, they will spend all of their waking hours destroying everything they can crawl to. You will be on constant duty. Please don't over burden yourself and expect too much.

I have a feeling you might look back on this thread in 6 months time and laugh!

KatieMorag · 28/11/2008 20:20

sorry but i agree with everyone else

if you have spare time you will do things like brush your teeth, have a shower and go to the loo. not write a report for four hours

TheSeriousOne · 28/11/2008 20:25

OK, I'm going going to buck the trend:

I live alone with my 6MO DS and I work from home.

Officially, I cover 2.5 days per week (I actually probably do more) but I do it when he naps during the day and when he sleeps at night.

I can do around 3 hours on an evening and about 2 hours during theday.

I do not have childcare or a DH around during theweek to cover childcre and I also do all the household chores.

Sorry to buck the trend , BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. I'm not going to say it's easy but it is possible.

MeAndMyMonkey · 28/11/2008 20:26

Yes, I'm afraid it is. I had visions of writing while the baby slept peacefully in her moses basket. Dream on sucker (talking about myself, not you!)... she never, ever stopped crying. I could barely get dressed for the first 6 months!
Sorry to rain on your parade !

fruitstick · 28/11/2008 20:28

I'm not sure but I think there are company insurance issues with working from home whilst also caring for a child, which is why most companies won't allow it (rather than because they are inflexible).

Essentially, if anything were to happen to your child whilst you were supposed to be working in theory your company would be liable.

TheSeriousOne · 28/11/2008 20:41

If you work freelance, there are no insurance issues.

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/11/2008 20:46

Do you ever look at women who have had babies, who are still in their dressing gowns at 5pm and think "I'll never be like that"?

Because once you have had a baby you will realise exactly why they do this!

Seriously, it is madness. You deserve time to yourself, but you will come way down the list of priorities after your baby. And work will be even further from your mind.

Research childcare options now!

Oh, and welcome to the vipers' nest that is MN!

LuLuMacGloo · 28/11/2008 20:52

Welcome!

Going to side slightly with TheSeriousOne but with a number of provisos.

I worked from home (but freelance) from when mine were 4 weeks old. But I think it depends on a) the nature of your job b) the support you have and c) how much you are willing to COMPLETELY surrender the rest of your life.

I managed it (just) because I am self employed as opposed to answerable to an employer. Although my work is deadline driver, I didn't regularly have to answer the phone to clients/have 'worky' telephone conference things - if you have to do any of that stuff on a daily basis then it is utterly impossible. Get some childcare.

It also (sort of) worked for me because DH is a teacher and was home every day at 4pm rather than 7pm. This meant that he could take over as soon as he came through the door. Eventually he had to drop a days teaching to accomodate my needs but it stillw asn't really enough. Not great for family harmony but hey. Which brings me on to my final point.

Unless managed really carefully this kind of working can be a total killer. Putting your baby to bed every night then sitting down to work is a nightmare - trust me, I did it for five years. My career blossomed, my finances improved but my relationship with dh (and the kids) really suffered, and I pretty much lost all my long standing friendships because I simply had no time to see anyone. Inevitably you don't have ANY time for yourself, never mind anyone else.

Both of mine have now started school and the difference is so incredible that I can't believe I struggled along for so long.

If I had my time again I would still work BUT I would set up childcare - even just for 4 hours a day, and possibly not through a nursery. Lets be honest - a lot of jobs can be done in a shorter period of time than is 'allocated' to them in a formal work environment (without coffee breaks, water cooler moments, faffing about). But ultimately it does need to be done - and if you have any option other than to struggle to fit it in while caring for a baby then take it.

Milkycheeks · 28/11/2008 21:05

I tried it for one day out of my three when i returned to work when dd was 10.5 months old - although my company has the same policy re alternative to childcare, the understanding was that i would make up the hours as & when, as the work i was doing at home didn't need to be done during office hours. I lasted a month & then decided to put dd in nursery for that day - i never felt like i had a minute for 'me', if i wasn't being mum & doing all the other household stuff i was doing work. So, personally, i wouldn't recommend it - i'd rather struggle a bit financially than emotionally/psychologically/physically, iyswim.

TheSeriousOne · 28/11/2008 21:08

Will def. agree with LuluMacGloo - I have had to cut right back on time with friends or coffee / play dates, because I just don't have the time or energy.

I do invite people here, which is fine, but do find going out a struggle.

squeaver · 28/11/2008 21:08

It is utter madness. For all the reasons already stated.

Sorry